Whenever James or I do something for the River Monster (bathe him, feed him, care for him), we remind him that he better remember all of that when he's looking at nursing homes for us. We figure we are taking great care of him, so he should repay the favor. Makes sense, right?!
Well, apparently my lovely husband has really been thinking about his days in Shady Meadows -- or wherever River puts us up -- because we had this conversation earlier this week:
James: Do i have hair on my back?
ReRe: No.
James: Good. When I'm old, i hope River puts me in a nursing home that regularly shaves my body hair. I don't want to be one of those old dudes covered in hair. I want to look good, so i can have my pick of the ladies and not get stuck with the chick who just poops on herself.
ReRe: Ummm? Where am I? Won't i be in the nursing home with you? Why would you need your pick of the ladies if I'm there?
James: Yeah, yeah. You'll be there. But you'll have dementia. So....
ReRe: So, it's ok to date then? Ok. I gotcha. Thanks for the insight Pat Robertson!
So note to Riv: daddy wants to be in a home that regularly shaves his body hair.
Second not to Riv: daddy probably won't live long enough to see said nursing home, and mama may be in jail!
Showing posts with label old people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label old people. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Reason #4,590 why i shouldn't take River to Wal-Mart
I've told you guys how Riv attracts the crazies at Wal-Mart (remember crazy tomato lady?). Apparently this is not just a fluke, he really does get mommy into the craziest conversation.
The most recent event occurred last Friday. I was looking through the giant $5 DVD bin. Riv was in the basket, but close enough to grab DVD and throw them in our cart. He was having a blast and of course as adorable as can be. An older gentlemen -- old enough that he a Korean War Vet hat on --came up and started looking through the bin. He told me how cute Riv was, and then this conversation took place:
Vet: (pointing at Riv) I wish i had about 5 or 6 of them living with me.
ReRe: I just smiled and nodded (trying not to be a little freaked by his comment -- my job makes me leery of dudes who want 5 or 6 boys living with them).
Vet: I live alone and would love 5 or 6 of him at my house. I love kids.
ReRe: Little ones are lots of fun (oh great! now anyone listening to our convo thinks we are both creepo deepos)
Vet: My great-grandkids are my life. They are who i live for.
ReRe (feeling less freaked): That's sweet. Parenthood is amazing, but i hear being a grandparent is more so.
Vet: I love kids. and let me tell you, if i was in here and saw someone hitting or even yelling at someone his age or even older I would beat the Sh!t out of them. I would beat their faces in.
ReRe (freaked out again. I mean, i totally get what he's saying, and feel the same way, but wow, where did this convo just turn): Yeah....it's sad when folks mistreat children.
Vet: I'd beat the tar out of them. Beat their faces in. I'm 80, but i can take a 20 year-old. I did combat training in the war. I can take a 20 year-old like it's nothing.
ReRe: Awesome....have a good day!
I think hurried away to another section, only to have to return back to the DVD bin to put back the 15 copies of Weekend at Bernie's that Riv had put in our cart. Yes, Vet was still there. No, i didn't stop and talk.
The most recent event occurred last Friday. I was looking through the giant $5 DVD bin. Riv was in the basket, but close enough to grab DVD and throw them in our cart. He was having a blast and of course as adorable as can be. An older gentlemen -- old enough that he a Korean War Vet hat on --came up and started looking through the bin. He told me how cute Riv was, and then this conversation took place:
Vet: (pointing at Riv) I wish i had about 5 or 6 of them living with me.
ReRe: I just smiled and nodded (trying not to be a little freaked by his comment -- my job makes me leery of dudes who want 5 or 6 boys living with them).
Vet: I live alone and would love 5 or 6 of him at my house. I love kids.
ReRe: Little ones are lots of fun (oh great! now anyone listening to our convo thinks we are both creepo deepos)
Vet: My great-grandkids are my life. They are who i live for.
ReRe (feeling less freaked): That's sweet. Parenthood is amazing, but i hear being a grandparent is more so.
Vet: I love kids. and let me tell you, if i was in here and saw someone hitting or even yelling at someone his age or even older I would beat the Sh!t out of them. I would beat their faces in.
ReRe (freaked out again. I mean, i totally get what he's saying, and feel the same way, but wow, where did this convo just turn): Yeah....it's sad when folks mistreat children.
Vet: I'd beat the tar out of them. Beat their faces in. I'm 80, but i can take a 20 year-old. I did combat training in the war. I can take a 20 year-old like it's nothing.
ReRe: Awesome....have a good day!
I think hurried away to another section, only to have to return back to the DVD bin to put back the 15 copies of Weekend at Bernie's that Riv had put in our cart. Yes, Vet was still there. No, i didn't stop and talk.
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