Hair on my back, foot in my mouth

Whenever James or I do something for the River Monster (bathe him, feed him, care for him), we remind him that he better remember all of that when he's looking at nursing homes for us. We figure we are taking great care of him, so he should repay the favor. Makes sense, right?!

Well, apparently my lovely husband has really been thinking about his days in Shady Meadows -- or wherever River puts us up -- because we had this conversation earlier this week:

James: Do i have hair on my back?
ReRe: No.
James: Good. When I'm old, i hope River puts me in a nursing home that regularly shaves my body hair. I don't want to be one of those old dudes covered in hair. I want to look good, so i can have my pick of the ladies and not get stuck with the chick who just poops on herself.
ReRe: Ummm? Where am I? Won't i be in the nursing home with you? Why would you need your pick of the ladies if I'm there?
James: Yeah, yeah. You'll be there. But you'll have dementia. So....
ReRe: So, it's ok to date then? Ok. I gotcha. Thanks for the insight Pat Robertson!

So note to Riv: daddy wants to be in a home that regularly shaves his body hair.
Second not to Riv: daddy probably won't live long enough to see said nursing home, and mama may be in jail!

Potluck Friday

Happy Friday!!!

1. So this is the last Potluck Friday and my last blog post because apparently the world is going to end tomorrow -- and frankly i can think of a lot better things to be doing on my last day than sitting in front of the computer (no offense all of you World of Warcraft nerds, i mean lovers). Seriously though people, the world is not gonna end tomorrow. How do i know? Cus i have a direct line to God and he told me that the wack jobs or are saying tomorrow is the end would be the LAST people to know! So that's how i know we are all good!
   
   
2. Bagel lovers in Norman i have some EXCITING news. Old School Bagel Cafe is opening soon across the street from Norman High (where Blockbuster used to be)! It's about dang time the owners listened to me and opened in Norman, for pete's sake the opened in Stoolwater before they came here. But i digress. The important point is that we are getting one. If you haven't been to Old School, i highly recommend it. When i worked in the city i ate there on the regular. And every time i went to the counter to pick up my order i would say "Thank you, this would be even better if i could eat it in Norman." (this is also what i say when i pick up my food at Big Truck Tacos) . Finally someone listened! My only fear is that they didn't pick a great location. Yeah, Main Street is good in theory, but when you add hundreds of teens out for lunch at the same time every day that's just a mess. Maybe things have changed, but i remember when i was at Norman High and had no car my homies and I would just loiter at Grandy's and Carl's Junior (both of which are closed now) and would maybe buy 1 meal to share amongst 4 people! I got mad when some restaurants would put up signs like "Only 2 students per time" or "Must purchase own meal" etc. But i sooooooo get that now! But oh well, let's hope the kids of today are more respectful...or that they all are on diets so they can fit into their skinny jeans.
   
   
3. Why are people acting so surprised that The Terminator had an affair. Ummm, hello, he's a politician. This is NOT shocking or surprising. Well, maybe it's shocking because no one thought there was another woman on earth besides Maria Shriver who likes pillow talk that consists of spitting and screaming. But other than that I'm not surprised at all. And of course the news came out now. Arnold probably sent a dang press release. His run as governor is over and he probably wants to get back into the movies...what better way than a steamy affair with your maid?! Rumor has it he was planning a tiger's blood-induced crazy rant like Charlie Sheen, but he sees that really hasn't got Sheen so far, so he opted to go with revealing his affair.
   
   
4. Dear Glee, if you don't stop being all serious after school special and start make me start laughing I will stop watching you. Don't believe me? I stopped watching All My Children when they killed Leo and they are now being canceled (9 years later, but still!).
   
   
5. What's Re jamming this week? I'm jamming some Chris Brown's "Look at me now" ft. Lil Wayne and Busta. I LOVE Busta's part. It takes me back just hearing him. Busta is probably a grandpa, but the dude still has it!
   
   

Potluck Friday

TGIF!!!!

1. So this morning on the news i heard that Rep. Gabrielle Giffords will be heading to a Texas rehab center soon. This is AMAZING! I continue to pray for her and her family. But what struck me odd about the news story is why on earth would they not only report exactly what rehab center she's being transferred to, but also the time? Ummm, maybe i'm just paranoid, but if some crazed dude guns me down in a grocery store parking lot, i'd kinda like for folks not to blast my whereabouts -- and exactly when i'll be heading there -- to the nation. I don't know, maybe the Today Show thinks the Arizona gun dude is the only crazy person out there. Maybe they also think Snooki is naturally that color.
   
2. Speaking of Snooki and my obsession that is the Jersey Shore, i can't say enough how happy i am that it's back on! Every once in a while i make River do a fist pump -- he cracks up. I will say this though, last night i was disappointed in my girl JWoww, who i usually love. Maybe her boy Tom is no good, BUT how can she be mad at him for being less than fond that she's going on dates while at the Shore?! It makes her look silly for getting mad that Ronnie -- who was single at the time -- was hanging with other girls. Ok, getting off my reality-tv-ghetto-fab soap box now.
   
3. While watching CSI last night (gosh i'm addicted to TV) i saw the craziest CBS commercial. And sadly it was not a joke!
   
   Seriously?! Don't get me wrong, i don't think cancer is a joke, but really, i don't know one woman out there that's thinking "hey baby, forget about the steak dinner, diamond bracelet and flowers this year. Go get check out your boys instead." I'm sorry, but if James got me this "gift" i think we might have to box!
   
4. What song am i jamming this week? Bruno Mars' "Grenade." I LOVE me some Bruno. He is quickly becoming one of my favorite artists.

Potluck Friday

1. My favorite new way to spend my lunch hour is to go to the book store with my girl J-Loop and read the latest Twilight Book: The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner (don't judge, Cristina stop laughing and keep reading). I honestly look forward to this adventure every day. Yesterday was kind of a disappointment because 1) The books that we carefully hid in the history sections -- mine behind a Tom Brokaw book and J-Loop's behind a Colin Powell book (just in case the store sold out. we figured no teens would look in the history section)-- were GONE! Apparently the book store has people who work there who make sure only the books that belong on a particular shelf are there. We panicked, but only for a little bit because luckily there were still copies on display. But the disappointment returned when 2) chatty kathy decided to sit in the sofa chair across from us and talk to her husband about how "i don't want to take the grandkids to Toy Story 3. It's that computer generated stuff and well, i just don't like that." I felt my blood start to boil. Seriously? Does she not see me reading? Could she not have had this conversation while perusing the menopause books section? I grunted. Nothing. I even pretended to take a call from James and not so quietly said: "Baby, i'll have to call you back. I'm in the bookstore and it would be rude for me to sit across someone who is reading and talk on the phone." Still Nothing. She finally ended her call -- i think she could feel my eyes burning holes in her. She never looked up -- but i know she dreamed about me last night.
   
2. What's up with Sonic's commercials trying to bag on other fast-food places for not having the things that Sonic has? I mean, really, is it necessary to have a commercial saying "We have the footlong quarter pound coney, how bout you?" and then flashing over to Mickey D's, BK and Wendy's who don't have it. But why would any of those places have a foot long quarter pound coney anyway?! I'm just now to the point where i can eat burger from Mickey D's without being scared -- i'm not gonna eat a hot dog! How would Sonic like it if Red Lobster did a commercial bragging to Sonic: "We have cheddar bay biscuits and crab, how bout you?!" I also "love" sonic's commercial trying to bag on the Wendy's frosty. All it did was make me crave a frosty! Yeah, Sonic has real ice cream -- but you can get that anywhere. but Wendy's has the FROSTY! (No, i don't work for Wendy's, Red Lobster or any of the other places. And yes, i do love me some Sonic -- i just call it like i see it!)
   
3. Big Brother is back!!! This show just makes my summer. I'm pretty sure it makes baby Jesus cry because it's really humans at their worst -- and i love every second of it. The only thing I would change would be how often it comes on (Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday). I have a research paper to finish and a baby to prepare for -- it breaks my heart that those two things will have to take a backseat to Big Brother.
   
4. Am i the only one who was kind of excited about the news that there were Russian Spies here! It just reminded me of that movie with John Travolta and the guy who looks like the guy from Perfect Strangers but isn't that guy. i have no idea what the movie is called (or if that's really John Travolta in it), but i loved it.
   
5. What am i jamming this week? Drake's "Find your love." I love Drake!