Potluck Friday

Never thought this day would get here!

1. First my apologies for the lack of blogs this week. Of course James made me feel guilty every day with "Why haven't you posted?" and "You really have been slacking this week." Well folks, i have no excuse. Well, yes i do. I've been going in at 7 a.m. every day and trust me when i say you don't want to read what's on my mind that early in the morning. It ain't funny or family-friendly! But i feel refreshed today and can't end the week without a potluck!
   
   
2. Words are not enough for the joy i have now that Jersey Shore is back on! My life is now complete: Big Brother and Jersey Shore!!! Some folks are embarrassed to admit they love these shows -- but not me!
   
   
3. I've been at a summer camp program for pre-teen girls all week. They learning about all kinds of stuff -- staying away from drugs, healthy relationships and apparently how big your ankles get when you are knocked up. Earlier this week one of the campers decided to tell me the obvious:
   Camper (in country-boony twang): OMG! Your ankles are so swollen.
   ReRe (amused, annoyed and a little offended): Yes, yes they are . I'm 7 months pregnant.
   Camper: Are they supposed to get that BIG?
   ReRe (once again amused, annoyed and little offended): Yes. It's normal.
   
   Then the camper proceeds to go up to the other camp instructors (who are also pregnant) and point out that their ankles are no where near as big as mine are. I wanted to point out that their pre-pregnancy a$$es were no where near as big as mine either, but i just smiled.
   
   
4. Today is the first day of the third-trimester -- 12 more weeks to go. Some days it feels like pregnancy is flying by, and some days (when it's 90+ degrees) it feels like it will never end. I'm officially nesting. The crib is up, the changing table and dresser will go up tonight. I will soon start packing my bag so it will be ready. I told James that his next duty would be clearing out some cabinet space in the kitchen so we'll have a spot for bottles and all the other baby stuff babies apparently need. James' reply:
   He's not kosher. We just just stack his stuff on top of our.
   
   Ok then!
   
   
5. In honor of the return of Jersey Shore, and because i love this song, my jam of the week is Enrique Iglesias' "I Like It" featuring PitBull.
   

Men are just nasty

Yesterday James got a taste of what ladies have to go through anytime we must go to the bathroom: long lines.

When we got out of the movies (We saw Inception. It was good, but not AMAZING the way folks are making it out to be) the line to the men's room was crazy long. I've never seen so many dudes lined up to potty. Amazingly i didn't have to go -- probably b/c i went twice before the movie and probably 20 times earlier that day. Anywhoo, I posted up against a wall b/c i knew it was gonna be a while.

To my shock, the line moved really fast. Before I knew it James was no longer outside the bathroom and had moved his way in. I attributed the fast line to the fact that men don't have as much work to do as women when it comes to going to the bathroom (they can just whip it out and go). But apparently the line and whole experience moved fast for another reason, as noted by my hubby:

James: That line was long. I figured i'd be waiting forever to wash my hands, but amazingly the line was only for the urinals -- no line at all to wash your hands!

GROOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

The Poopty Dance

Who says white boys can't rap?!

This morning my hubby announced to me that he was going to do his business in the bathroom (why he thinks he must tell me, i don't know. but i guess it prepares me for having a son).

James got creative with his announcement:

Stop whatcha doin' cus i'm about to ruin the clean commode that you're used to.

Yes, he channeled his inner-Humpty.

Potluck Friday

Nothing could excite me more than a Friday -- well, a double rainbow could, but that's about it!

1. Guess who i'm NOT calling back -- ever. The U.S. Census Bureau. They've been stalking me for about a month. One evening i get a call from a dude who thinks i'm dumb and thinks that his opening statement of "You've been selected to do a 20-minute Census Survey!" was going to actually make me think that him being on the other line was a good thing. Of course i told him i was busy and to call back the next night at 6:30. He listened like a good boy scout, except i didn't answer. And i haven't answered since that first night, but the Census people still call me daily (twice now). I've done my duty, i turned in the form, that's all your getting from me. Growing up i was trained not to answer "out of area" calls or any other call that could be from a bill collector, so the Census folks are gonna have to get a lot more clever if they think they are getting me to pick up the phone.
   
2. When i worked at Burger King back in the day, i didn't claim to know all there was about whoppers, but like everything in your life, you fake it till you make it. Apparently someone needs to pass that along to the waiter we had last night at Pad Thai on campus corner. One of the dishes James was contemplating stated it had "chili" in it. James, being a vegetarian, wanted to make sure exactly what that meant (did that mean a bang of noodles covered in Hormel chili)? But Tweedle Dumb could not answer that. "Umm, meat? Ummm, i don't know. It's just regular chilli. Ummm, ummmm." Finally he pulled over another guy (the same metro-sexual whose underwear were hanging out all night), who explained that it wasn't actually chili, but chili peppers.
   James: Oh, i guess it should have said chillis -- with an s.
   Metro-sexual: Yeah, but the same guy who wrote the menu is the same guy who wrote the sign on the door that says "Now Taking Application."
   Point made!
   
3. Speaking of Burger King -- It's gross! I was craving a whopper the other day (i don't think i've had one since i worked there 13 years ago). I opt for a whopper junior meal. Of course, like any normal person, the first thing i do as i pull out the drive-thru is reach into the bag to grab a fry. Mistake! I had somehow forgotten how gross BK fries were. I don't understand that with all our technology, why can't BK figure out what Mickey D's is doing and make their fries better. Yeah, yeah, Mickey D's is probably frying their fries in beef fat, cat hair and meth, but i don't care, they are good -- and the King needs to get on the ball. (and don't even get me started on how undelicious that whopper jr. was).
   
4. The time has come. I'm officially old. So old that this weekend i will be at my 10-year high school reunion. I'm probably the only dork excited about going to their reunion. Probably because i have a lot of successes such as:
   --Only one baby daddy, and i married him (BEFORE we made babies).
   --i'm only a little plumper from high school -- and that's just b/c i'm almost 7 months pregnant.
   Ok, i guess those are the only successes that count at reunions! But seriously, i really am excited about seeing folks in real life vs. on Facebook. What i'm not excited about is how much i paid to go to this dang reunion. But oh well.
   
5. What's Re jamming this week? Well, i've rekindled my love for Eminem. I love the song "I love way you lie" ft. Rihanna. (of course Em throws a fit when his stuff is put on youtube, so you'll have to go to the link.
   

Who needs drugs when you have double rainbows!

I want whatever this guy is on!



And he speaks!

Chuck E. Cheese no longer pleases

Went to Chuck E. Cheese yesterday for my niece's birthday and all i can say is the kids today are missing out.

Now, little ReRe didn't have many trips to Chuck E. Cheese, BUT i went enough to get the experience, the experience of freaky animatronics dancing and singing (I preferred Showbiz). I was kind of scared and excited to relive this last night, but apparently the recession has impacted animatronics and instead the kids watch a performance on TV. What the heck?! That's ridiculous.

Of course the kids didn't know any better, and thought this was da bomb, but of course i had to burst their bubbles.

One little girl was losing her mind, screaming with excitement: "It's Chuck E! It's Chuck E." and pointing to the screen.

I leaned in and said:

"If you think this is cool, you should have saw it in the 80s!"

I wanna be a billionaire so frickin bad!

So the other day my boy Tim informed me that he saw some Cross Colours merchandise at the flea market? Remember Cross Colours?! We were too broke for Cross Colours, but now that i'm "rich" -- and by rich i mean i have wayyyyy more money in the bottom of my purse than we grew up with -- i think i might go to the flea market and pick me up some Cross Colours!

While i'm at it, i might buy a whole bunch of stuff we couldn't afford when i was little. This will be a sign that i have "arrived."
Here are a few things that are on my list to buy in the near future:

• K Swiss -- these were "the thing" to have in 7th grade. I had some generic ones from Payless. I finally got the real deal -- on clearance at Ross -- but by then they were no longer cool.
  
• Starter Jacket -- In 6th grade "the thing" was to wear a boy's starter jacket. Ryan Peacock let me wear his all the time!
  
• Puma shoes
  
• a Homies T-shirt -- i had a Hispanic math teacher who HATED these. I never understood why. To me it's like FUBU for Latinos!
  
• Guess jeans -- though i doubt they come in my size!
  
• A side-by-side fridge (with ice maker and water) -- to me this was a sign of rich folks. only rich people -- rich white people-- had these when i was little.
  
• Wheat bread -- again, only rich white folks ate wheat bread (at least that's what i thought growing up)
  
• Cereal in a box -- actually, i buy this now. My first box of Lucky Charms (NOT MARSHMALLOW MATEYS) was a real coup! i grew up eating cereal in the bag. My mama called it "knee cereal" b/c it's so low on the shelf that you have to get on your knees to get it.
  
• Trampoline -- all the rich kids had these (they also all had broken legs -- maybe i'll pass on this)

Now that i'll be all pimped out with my rich people stuff, it's time to do some rich people things:

• Wear my seat belt: when i was little the only people i knew who regularly did this were rich folks. Maybe we didn't do this cus we didn't always have seatbelts in our hoopties.
  
• Put bills in my name only: by the time i was 7, the water bill and light bill were in my name. This became a problem when at 20 i went down to the city to put my water bill in my name and they were confused b/c i had a bill i my name since 1988!
  
• Take my lunch to work: all i ever wanted to do in first grade was take my lunch to school. But we were too broke, plus i got free lunches at school so my mama didn't see the point. Well, now that i'm grown and "rich" i take my lunch to work every day! (but if my job offered free lunches, i'd totally apply!)