Potluck Friday

TGIF!

1. I'm sorry i've been MIA on Potluck Friday recently. I have no excuses but laziness! Forgive me. Please?!
   
   
2. I want to wish a Happy 20th Birthday to Lil Bro! 20 years ago he came into this world causing ruckus. my mama had two very easy, no drama births prior to Lil Bro -- of course i was a piece of cake delivery because i'm precious and perfect and Middle Bro slid out in the front seat of the car..no joke! But Lil Bro was anything but easy. But he was worth the ruckus...and he still is. I heart you so much Jonathan. Happy Birthday sweet boy.
   
   
3. Is it ghetto-fabulous that River's toy chest includes the following: an empty Coke Zero bottle, and empty Red Diamond Ice Tea jug, and empty wipes container and an empty Enfamil container? Is it even ghettoer (or is more ghetto) that these are his favorite toys?
   
   
4. This is just your warning that I will be MIA for about a week in July. I'm having my good ol gallbladder removed. I heard it's all the rage with postpartum ladies. And a few weeks ago i thought i was about to be on that dumb show "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" when i woke up with pains that took my back to the early morning of October 26, 2010 when i went into labor with River. The only thing different was that i knew i wasn't going to get a cute little baby in 16 hours. After some delicious IV pain meds and an ultra sound, it turns out i have gallstones (which by the way don't mix well with juicy hamburgers...or any tasty food for that matter), so i'm having it removed...and then enjoying a big ol plate of ribs!
   
   
5. Have you ever heard a song that makes you instantly wanna wrap your arms around the one you love and...well, umm, ya know?! Well, the song i'm jamming this week is that kinda song. It's "Motivation" by Kelly Rowland (the only girl Beyonce didn't kick out of Destiny's Child) featuring my boy Lil Wayne. (i love Weezy!)
   

Potluck Friday

It's probably the best Friday ever!!!

1. Why? Because it's my last day of work before maternity leave AND my last Friday without my kiddo! Tomorrow is officially my due date -- 40 weeks of preggoness here I come. And tomorrow begins the countdown for River to make his debut. He's got until Thursday and then he'll officially get the boot. My gut -- and my SIL (who correctly predicted 14 years ago that our nephew would be born on leap year) -- tells me that my boy is planning to make an entrance on Monday. So we'll see! I'd love for that to be the case, because on Oct. 25, 2003, River's daddy asked me on a date. So it only makes sense for River to pop in on October 25th! Fingers crossed.
   
   
2. There's been A LOT of nesting going on in la casa de ramblings. I even somehow convinced my hubby that River needed a screen door on the front of the house?!!! So No. 1 dad will be installing that in the next 24-28 hours. I still don't know how i won that argument -- probably had something to do with the fact that i actually wasn't screaming, complaining or crying and James just said "Yes, sure, you're right" to keep the peace! (i'm gonna miss getting my way just cus i'm with child). I gave the house a good dusting last week, and this weekend i/we plan to do a good vacuuming and mopping. Why? you ask. Because i don't want my kid to think God jipped him and gave him to the nasty people. I want the house to be shiny. And we all know that some kids DO get jipped and get stuck with the nasty parents (dirty laundry and dog hair all over, bugs, smell of cat pee). That ain't us! And it never will be! (cus i hate cats!)
   
   
3. Last night was a sad night. It was the season finale of Jersey Shore. Tear. All i have to say is this: I can't stand Sammi, (why you so cranky? and you seriously need a cough drop cus that voice is NOT cute. You sound like Phoebe when she got sick and did the sexy version of "Smelly Cat"), i heart Pauly D, and Snooki, you DID tell JWow that Pauly was talking smack, and you LIED! But i still love you, even if you are darker than me.
   
   
4. It's time for some more Facebook rants. We all know how much i can't stand things like: updates that tell all your ghetto bizness, Bible verses (I love God, but i also know he does not have a Facebook and that verse ain't getting you into heaven. 1 is fine, but daily is too much), or updates that are about nothing other than how much you love your kid or spouse. again. sweet. but tell THEM that, not US! But now i have another pet peeve. It's not new, but i've just been noticing it more and more: Folks answering questions about me. What's this about? Every so often i will get a post on my wall telling me that some random person answered questions about "ReRe" and i have answers to unlock. What the heck? And why is the person answering the questions about me always that random friend who i probably shouldn't be friends with in the first place because 1) i really don't know who they are, but felt too guilty to decline the request 2) i really don't like them, but felt too guilty to decline the request and have been too lazy to delete them or 3) they don't know me well enough to answer 1 question about me, let alone enough to warrant a wall post!
   But Facebook has been very entertaining this week because Crazy Cousin Keisha now has a Facebook. and even though she does all the things that drive me nuts with the updates, i can't get enough! Some update highlights from my craziest family member( copy and pasted directly. no lie!):
   

   i had a scrub named PATRICK YOUNGBLOOD.Sorry 2 put u on blast but the ni@ga was water resistant.lol. Anybody else out there allergic 2 soap and water? Lol. Im over it(him)now.just he HAD sum cool while I was hormonal 4 9 months.but now im singing the Chrisette Michelle cut"EPIPHANY" ya know?!
   
   

   does anybody else besides me love grocry shoppin the day after the 1st? After the traffic has somewhat died?
   
   

   why do guys think its ok 2 fart OUT LOUD abruptly and then proceed 2 carry out the conversation like nothin happenened while lookin u n the eye? FREAKN GROSS! Unproper 4real

   
   

   
   

   
   
5. What's ReRe jamming this week? It's not new, but i just love this song. It's "How to Save a Life" by The Fray. It was part of our sermon last week at church (reading the story behind the song makes me love it so much more):
   
   

He said WHAT?!

Blog James and real-life James seem like two different people to some folks. When folks first meet my hubby they automatically thinks he's going to start busting jokes and telling the silly stories that i post, but in reality James is a pretty quiet guy. He's got to really know someone before his blog-worthy side comes out. But when it does come out, watch out!
Those of you who have seen or heard him in action know what i mean. But for those of you who have never witnessed it first-hand, i leave you with this little taste:

James: (making a weird clicking noise) click, clickity clock, click click
ReRe: What are you doing that for?
James: Did i just call you something bad in your native tongue?!

BURN!

One of my stand-up jokes that i opened with was about how my first and middle names are, well, um, unusual (even more unusual that ReRe), but my maiden name is Smith. So i always joked that given my first name, you'd expect my maiden name to be something like Clickity, Click, Ooh, Ooh! It always got a laugh.

Guess this time the laughs on me!

River Monster Count Down: due in 5 days

Potluck Friday

1. Now, i don't want to be one of those crazy people who is blaming the flu shot for making me sick (i've read up on it, i know it's a dead virus, yada yada, i even have watched the vaccine be made and learned about all that crap), BUT, THE FLU SHOT MADE ME SICK! I got the sucker on Tuesday -- i typically don't get it. The last time i got it 5 years ago I got really really sick and passed it to James. We spent Thanksgiving 2005 on the couch drinking thera flu and watching Jurassic Park for a week. No fun. But i decided to get it this year so i could pass all the antibodies to River. WRONG CHOICE. I love this kid, but mommy feels like crap and really wishes she would have took daddy's advice and just bumped up my vitamin D intake instead. But it's too late. I have a sore arm, with a lump as big as J. Lo's rump on it, tingly throat and runny nose. Maybe it's not the flu shot, i could blame it on the "dedicated" folks who refuse to take a sick work day (and i blame half of it on them), but i can't deny that little shot some how jacked me up. So 2010 will be the last year ReRe EVER gets a flu shot. EVER.
   
2. So i may have been wrong about something for the last 29 years: i may NOT have child-bearing hips. they might just be wide. Monday my doc informed me that she was a little concerned/surprised that my boy hadn't started moving into position. Yes, he's head down, but he's not moving down -- if you know what i mean. She said she's not in worry mode quite yet and over the next two weeks he could still move his way down, BUT she did say that it was possible he was on the big side (i don't know where he could have got that) and was maybe having a hard time. My kid is part of the GBC -- the ghetto booty crew. I hope he's just being lazy and will start to pack his things over the next week and be ready to roll soon. We shall see.
   
3. So The Situation got the boot off of Dancing with the Stars. I'll admit, i was kind of bummed b/c not only am i a fan of Jersey Shore, i'm a fan of watching rythmless people dance! And it doesn't come more rythmless than Mike The Situation! He really took getting the boot to heart. Apparently he's never watched the show and didn't realize that you don't get votes for trying hard. You get votes for dancing well! What i don't understand is how someone who spends so much time in the club can be so bad at dancing?!
   
4. What song am i jamming this week? "Check it Out" by Will.I.Am and Nicki Minaj. Ms. Minaj is really becoming one of my favorite folks these days. She's like the black Lady GaGa!
   

Count Down to the end of my life....

Some pregnant ladies get annoyed when folks want to rub their bellies -- i don't mind (as long as you aren't some weirdo and you have all your teeth or at least a good set of dentures)

Some pregnant ladies get annoyed at comments like "are you carrying twins?" "man, you look like you were due yesterday" or the plain and simple "you are huge." -- amazingly i don't mind these either. As long as their is a kiddo in me, you can comment on my roundness all you want. BUT in 3-4 weeks you better shut your face.

But what i CAN'T stand are the constant comments about how "your life is going to be OVER. so enjoy this time while you can."

Don't get me wrong, i know that life is going to be very different. I won't be able to decide that I need to go to Opies in an hour. I may not be rushing out to see a 2 hour new release in the near-near future, and my nights of 9 hours of sleep are going to dwindle (though if you are on Facebook at 3 a.m. you would know that i haven't slept through the night in at least two months).

Yes, i know all of these things and more. But there's nothing worse than telling two people who are about to start such an exciting journey that life is really about to SUCK. I have some mommy friends who tell me all the ugly sides of pregnancy and the after, i love and need that, it's real. But what i don't love or need is weird laughing church lady who told me Sunday: "Man, you won't be going out alone for a long, long time. Kiss those movies and dates goodbye once this baby comes."

(James said i should have told her: well, my hubby is not ashamed of me, so he will still take me out.)

Other annoying your-life-is-gonna-suck-soon comments i hate are:

• You and James are never going to have "alone" time again. -- umm, that's right. because people NEVER have "alone" time after they have a kid. that's why every couple has just one kid (ignore the fact that James is #9 of ELEVEN kids) . Ok???
  


• No more date nights. -- to the folks that have not been on a date since their kid was born 10 years ago, shame on you! don't blame that on your kid! just admit that you just don't really like your old lady/old man anymore! Trust me, this mama will have her some date nights. happy mama = happy house!
  


• When someone's kid is acting a fool, throwing a crazy tantrum, the parents look at you and say: "I hope you are ready for this." -- No, i'm not ready for that, and i don't need to be because i'm not gonna have a BeBe kid. Notice that it's always the person with the baddest kid who wants to prepare you for incidents like your kid slapping you in Wal-Mart or your teen calling you a "B." Now, i'm not saying my boy is going to be perfect, but I know how my mama raised me and trust me, we knew better to act a fool in private, let alone in public!

My question is this: if kids are sooooooooo terrible, than why do folks keep busting them out!

Ok, off my soapbox!

Two pregnant ladies walk into a salon...

So a little over a week ago i had my first pedicure! My toes still look HAWT! and i think i will partake in another pedi in a couple of weeks. With that being said, the experience was still weird. Maybe it was just the place we went to -- i doubt it though because i've heard similar stories and stand-up acts based solely on pedis -- but could it have been any more stereotypical?!

The answer: NO!

First off, the minute we walked in -- i went with a pregnant girlfriend -- it felt like we were being yelled at. I had no idea what was completely being said but i got the jist that they wanted to know a few things: why are you here? do you have an appointment? pedi? mani? both? color? why are you both so fat? (ok, i threw in that last one, but i totally know they were all thinking it). I had no idea why it took all 8 employees to yell/ask these questions, but it did.

An hour later -- after stuffing our preggo selves with some Mexican food -- we headed back to the salon for our appointments.

We settled in the massage chairs, and the fun began.

I have no idea where the pedi ladies are from, but wherever they grew up they clearly did NOT get a lesson in gossiping.

Gossip Rule #1: when you are talking about someone/someone's feet, it's best not to hold up the foot, yell down the line at all your co-workers, point at the foot and start chatting. Ummm, no, i don't know what you are saying, but i'm pretty sure it ain't good!

Along with totally dissing our feet, the ladies also talked about each and every woman who walked in the salon. When a tall, thin, blond, overly-tanned lady walked in, all the workers stopped, stared, and then rolled their eyes and started "whispering" to each other.

When my lady was ready for my other foot, she would grunt at me until i guessed what she wanted me to do. My girlfriend's lady was a little nicer, even though she spent the hour telling my friend how "huge your belly is." When my friend motioned to my belly and noted that i too was expecting and was further along, her pedi lady brushed it off and said "Yeah, but your belly is much much bigger. healthy baby." I think "healthy baby" means "fat kid you got there," but i don't know.

Besides the gossiping, the other thing that didn't jive with me was the fact that i'm pretty sure -- no, i know -- that they use the same tools on everyone's feet. GROOOOOSSSSSS. This is the exact reason why i've gone 29 years without a pedi. Yes, my toes look nice, but all i could and can think about is the fact that the pumice stone and cuticle thingy used on me was probably used on 7 other people who are all connected to Kevin Bacon some how.

This experience has not soured me to pedis. Like i said, i will partake in another (my girl T. Marie told me of a place that does not use the same tools on everyone!), just not at Natural Nails in Sooner Mall!

(and i thought all the sistas at the beauty shop were bad!)

Potluck Friday

Woot-Woot to Friday!

1. I'm running on 2 hours of sleep, so if i start rambling end this post mid-sentence you will know why. I was actually getting some good, dead-to-the world sleep last night -- until my great aunt called me at 12:30 a.m. I didn't answer, i thought it would be safer for me to not answer than to answer and yell at one of my elders. But boy was i ticked. She did leave a voicemail that said something to the tune of "hey baby, it's aunt loves to call you at midnight. call me back." Seriously. Seriously. In her defense we do have an ailing family member so we've been talking a lot more, but not 12:30 IN THE MORNING! So of course i couldn't fall back to sleep so i sat up surfing the interweb, watching my stories and some Family Guy. At 2 a.m. my need for revenge kicked in, so i called my aunt back -- she didn't answer. I bet she was counting sleep like nobody's business.
   
   
2. So apparently this lady couldn't think of any better way to get national attention other than splashing her face with acid and saying a stranger did it. What a wack job. She couldn't, i don't know, pretend to be kidnapped, pretend to be a man and announce she's pregnant, call TLC and tell them she's a little person with 6 kids and pregnant with quads? Yeah, these all are extreme (except for that last thing, TLC would eat that up), but they are all way saner than putting acid on her face. What i love about this story is it was a blogger who started questioning her story! See, bloggers aren't just attention hogs blabbing on the interweb!
   
   
3. Later today i will be doing something i've never done: getting a pedicure! I've been doing a lot of grooming in preparation for my little man's arrival. NO, i won't be one of those ladies who goes to the hospital with a face full of make-up and big Oscar-ready hair, but i don't want to look like i could be on the cover of National Geographic either. So over the next few weeks i'm getting my baby beauty on. I'm gonna get my feet in order -- i don't want folks to be so focused on rough hammer toes that the aren't paying attention to the person coming out of me. I'm gonna make sure my hair is nap-free as well. When my boy is born, i want him to know he's in good hands -- not the hands of a woman with sticka bush hair and man feet!
   
   
4. If James and I had our own reality show and at the end of each week it showed a Clip of the Week (something outrageous or hilarious), this week's Clip of the Week would be us trying to figure out how the baby travel system works. Putting the stroller together was not difficult, it only took a few minutes to pop on the wheels, but trying to figure out how the car seat actually hooks to the stroller was another story -- that i still haven't mastered. Oh, and those carriers are NOT light, which kind of freaks me out b/c if i think it's heavy WITHOUT a baby in it, what i'm gonna do when i add 7 pounds (ok, yea right, 9 pounds) to it? Clip of the Week!
   
   
5. What is ReRe jamming this week? It's not new, but the more i hear it the more i love Usher "DJ Got Us Falling in Love Again."
   
   

Potluck Friday

1. My hubby has been reprimanding me for not blogging all week. I apologize, BUT in my defense i must say it's hard to wake up and be funny when you are living on 3 hours of sleep. I expect to be sleep deprived in 6 weeks when my boy comes, but no one told me that the last few weeks of pregnancy are so freaking uncomfortable. I've always had junk in the trunk, but trying to sleep with junk in the trunk and front -- and then peeing every 30 seconds is a lot harder than i thought it'd be. So again, i apologize. But at least i gotta Potluck for ya (that's all that counts!).
   
   
   
2. So about 6 months ago i had to break down and buy some clinical strength deodorant (that sets me back $8. EIGHT BUCKS). Another thing no one told me is that hormones can drastically change and make you funkier. Well, they can. BUT this week i realized that my hormones had not changed...the only thing that freaking changed is that Sure deodorant decided to get all sneaky and change its package to look like my Secret. Yes, 6 months ago on my deodorant run, i accidentally grabbed a Sure, thinking it was my Secret (which has not told on me in 17 years). But after a few days i just felt wet and funk. Instead of taking a good look at my deodorant and realizing it was the wrong brand, i just got depressed that the deodorant strong enough for a man, but made for a woman was no longer made for me. This week James ran out of deodorant and decided to use the "Secret" that was still sitting on dresser -- untouched since March. It wasn't until he was putting it on that i realized "THAT'S NOT SECRET! AND I'M NOT FUNKY(ER)!" So i think the folks who make Sure should pay me $24 -- that's $8 that i shelled out monthly for my clinical strength deodorant. You owe me Sure.
   
   
3. As we prepare for the arrival of River, we've really been trying to act like good parents, you know, pretend like he's already here and try to do things like: wear more clothes around the house (yes, we are THOSE people), sit at the dinner table (we are striving to be THOSE people), and (this is something James is working on) not making suggestive motions when i'm bent over the oven. Another thing we are working on is making sure the pan and pot handles are not hanging over the stove when we cook. I'm better than James at ensuring all the handles are turned. The other day i pointed to his handles and reminded him of the safety risk:
   ReRe: (pointing to pot handle) Baby, what would happen if River grabbed this and poured hot food all over his face? We have to keep these turned in.
   James: If River can reach through your ya-ya and grab that pot handle, i say more power to him.
   We will continue to work on this.
   
   
   
   
4. I don't think i'm a fan of the new location thingy on Facebook. For two reasons: 1) it could be a safety risk. Do you really want to tell 600+ people you just arrived at some restaurant 900 miles away from your house? I don't know about you, but i have some ghetto Facebook friends who i DON'T want knowing when i'm out of town! and 2) It's annoying! know one cares that you are at 'home', 'wal-greens' , or 'kfc.' The only time you should use this feature is if you are somewhere really cool or really shady. For example 'sugers' is a great example (for those of you who don't know, Sugers is a skeezy strip club on Campus Corner, and i'm pretty sure they'd hire me today (that tells you a lot!). You can't tell me you wouldn't roll on the floor if you saw, say your pastor or uncle put that he had just arrived at Sugers!
   
   
   
5. What is ReRe jamming this week? It's "Break My Bank" by New Boyz featuring lyza:
   
   
   

Potluck Friday

1. In less than 3 hours i'm gonna get to see my boy's face -- well, if he cooperates! James and I are going to go do one of those freaky 3D ultrasounds. I'll admit that every 3D u/s i've seen has scared me to death. The babies look like aliens and it's just wrong how their legs will be up by their ears. BUT this u/s will be different cus it's MY KID! And of course he'll be a cute as can be (even if he looks freaky, i will never admit it)!
   
2. As I approach the end of my 20's -- 10 days till my 29th birthday -- i've realized that i'm old. No, i'm not Joan Rivers old, but i'm old enough that there are just some things I -- and other folks my age and older -- should just not be doing or saying. Those things include:
   -- dying your hair two-toned. I'm not talking about highlights. I'm talking about platinum blond on the top and black on the bottom. Not cool (don't thin it ever was, but definitely not cool at this age)
   --getting nose rings, belly rings, any ring but an ear ring and tattoos. This should have been done about 8 years ago. No 29 year-old woman should wake up one morning and say "I think i'm gonna go get a tramp stamp today!"
   --Seriously use the term "baby daddy" or "baby mama." Yes, i jokingly call James my baby daddy, but it pains me to hear folks use this term in a serious manner such as court!
   --Posting Facebook updates about how hung over you are or how last night you beat someone up.
   --Now, this one might be my own personal opinion (cus the rest are facts and laws): saying phrases like "What it do" "That's what's up" "Imma do me/Doin Me" or any other form of that. I cringe when i hear folks who aren't Lil Wayne or my 19 year-old brother say that.
   
3. James and I rented Hot Tub Time Machine this week, and i will admit this to only my closest friends: I FREAKING LOVED IT. Yes, it had crude language, explicit drug use and naked body parts, but it was hilarious! I truly believe that i'm a teenage boy, so that's what's up.
   
4. What am i jamming this week? I don't know if it's hormones or just b/c i'm a girlie girl, but every time i hear that song "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars i want to cry (i've actually cried once). If i was a man and James was a woman, i'd sing it to him every day. Heck, i think i'm gonna sing it to him anyway:
   

Pet Peeves

don't you dare think the title of this post has ANYTHING to do with hormones. I've had these pet peeves for way longer than my 32 weeks of pregnancy, it just so happens that i'm letting them out now. So don't go assuming!

2 pet peeves that have been driving me nuts this week:

1. folks who slow down when they see a cop has someone pulled over: Ummm, i don't understand this. He ALREADY has someone, he ain't looking at you. When i see a cop has already caught his fish, i take it as my opportunity to raise up my Forty and wave at him. Ok, not really, but you can AT LEAST go the freaking speed limit. But no, 99 percent of folks creep by, like he's gonna tell the person he already caught "Ok, nevermind your speeding, i'm gonna go after that guy over there for, umm, just because." NO people! just drive like normal -- or even a little faster than normal -- because Mr. PoPo is occupado.
   
2. folks who take forever in the drive-thru: What the heck are these people ordering?! This ain't Golden Corral, Cracker Barrel or some other restaurant. This is freaking Mickey D's. There should be no need to peruse the menu -- you've been here enough times and seen enough commercial to know what the clown serves. But no, you are just looking and looking, talking and talking. Do me a favor, ask little Billy if he wants a cheeseburger happy meal or "chicken" nuggets BEFORE you leave the house. And you know Billy is not gonna eat it anyway, the fries are gonna just end up in the backseat next to the gold fish crackers and gum. And i don't know what's worse, the person who takes forever to order and then you see all they got was a coke -- what the heck were you talking about, health care reform, BP? -- or the person who gets like 8 bags and 15 drinks handed out the window AND still has to pull up for the rest of their order. Dang, Wally World is up the street, go buy some real food and cook it.

Ok, i'm done! Happy Hump Day!

Potluck Friday

This has been a loooooooooooooong week. But it's almost ova!

1. So this was week 2 of birth class, and i must say that it should be illegal to show the videos we are watching. Remember the crowning scene in Knocked Up that lasted about 7 seconds but stayed with you forever? Well, imagine 2 hours of that -- for 5 weeks! I thought i was more mature, but apparently i haven't changed since 10th grade when we watched Miracle of Life and sat there with my eyes half closed, squeezing my legs until they hurt. The difference between now and then is: Then, my thought was "That's gross and i'm never going to do that." and Now, my thought is "That's gross, and i'm doing that in 10 weeks." On the bright side, James is not freaked out at all, so at least i know he will be a good labor coach.
   
2. Speaking of babies, labor and all that fun stuff. The other day i was perusing my favorite site -- well, besides this one --Babycenter and saw the funniest post in a forum: Can anyone tell me where to find plus-size skinny jeans? I cracked up when i read this. Is this lady serious? I'm one of those plus-size ladies who truly believes just because it comes in your size, doesn't mean you should wear it! Honestly, i don't think ANYONE should wear skinny jeans. They are just not flattering -- unless you are going for the junkie look. I just found it amusing that the words "plus-size" and "skinny" were both used to describe a pair of jeans!
   
3. I don't know if electing to make his exit via the emergency slide was his best decision, but i can't help but to look up to JetBlue's Steven Slater for doing what so many of us who have every worked customer service have wanted to do! Oh how i wish i could go back and yell at some folks at Burger King, like the crazy dude who didn't want me to touch any of his stuff. Or the crazy Target lady who was mad that i wouldn't accept a check from her -- after watching her scratch out the printed name on top and write in her own name! Go Steven!
   
4. What am i jamming this week? "I Got Your Back" by T.I. featuring Keri Hilson. All i have to say about T.I. is mmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmm good!

Potluck Friday

Never thought this day would get here!

1. First my apologies for the lack of blogs this week. Of course James made me feel guilty every day with "Why haven't you posted?" and "You really have been slacking this week." Well folks, i have no excuse. Well, yes i do. I've been going in at 7 a.m. every day and trust me when i say you don't want to read what's on my mind that early in the morning. It ain't funny or family-friendly! But i feel refreshed today and can't end the week without a potluck!
   
   
2. Words are not enough for the joy i have now that Jersey Shore is back on! My life is now complete: Big Brother and Jersey Shore!!! Some folks are embarrassed to admit they love these shows -- but not me!
   
   
3. I've been at a summer camp program for pre-teen girls all week. They learning about all kinds of stuff -- staying away from drugs, healthy relationships and apparently how big your ankles get when you are knocked up. Earlier this week one of the campers decided to tell me the obvious:
   Camper (in country-boony twang): OMG! Your ankles are so swollen.
   ReRe (amused, annoyed and a little offended): Yes, yes they are . I'm 7 months pregnant.
   Camper: Are they supposed to get that BIG?
   ReRe (once again amused, annoyed and little offended): Yes. It's normal.
   
   Then the camper proceeds to go up to the other camp instructors (who are also pregnant) and point out that their ankles are no where near as big as mine are. I wanted to point out that their pre-pregnancy a$$es were no where near as big as mine either, but i just smiled.
   
   
4. Today is the first day of the third-trimester -- 12 more weeks to go. Some days it feels like pregnancy is flying by, and some days (when it's 90+ degrees) it feels like it will never end. I'm officially nesting. The crib is up, the changing table and dresser will go up tonight. I will soon start packing my bag so it will be ready. I told James that his next duty would be clearing out some cabinet space in the kitchen so we'll have a spot for bottles and all the other baby stuff babies apparently need. James' reply:
   He's not kosher. We just just stack his stuff on top of our.
   
   Ok then!
   
   
5. In honor of the return of Jersey Shore, and because i love this song, my jam of the week is Enrique Iglesias' "I Like It" featuring PitBull.
   

Potluck Friday

I'm always happy when it's Friday, but happy does not describe how i feel about it today. Oh what a week!!!

1. Yes, that was me sitting in the theater opening day of Eclipse. Don't be jealous that my girl J-Loop won free tickets on the radio! It was AMAZING. Yeah, yeah. I know all the Twi-nerds are saying it's the best so far yada yada. But it really is. And it's not just a good Twilight movie, it's a good movie. I was impressed. I hope they keep this same director (this franchise changes directors more than Beyonce changes members of Destiny's Child). Of course, i still have some complaints:
   
   • Why oh why can't they just dye Rosalie's eyebrows? She looks like Madonna with that tacky blonde hair and big brown eye brows. Better yet, why can't they just let Rosalie have her naturally dark hair? Yeah, it's not in the book, but it's not also in the book that she's rocking out old-school 3 inch black eyebrows either.
     
   • Why does Jasper all of a sudden have a southern accent? Where the heck did that come from?
   • Jacob needs to be shirtless more. That's why i'm here people, to look at this half-naked 17 year-old shape shifting wolf. Work with me!
   • The more i watch, the more i'm convinced that Edward is the over-protective, hovering boyfriend that we would all want our daughters to stay away from. He reminds me of Fred Savage's character in the Lifetime movie, No one Would tell (where he kills DJ from Full House. sorry if i just ruined that for you).
     
     
2. While waiting for Eclipse to start, i saw the funniest trailer. It was for Step Up...wait for it... wait for it....3D. NO, I AM NOT KIDDING. Someone spent their daddy's hard -earned money to pay to make a tacky no-star filled 3D dancing movie. Haven't we seen enough of this with: Step Up 1, Step Up 2, Save the Last Dance, Honey, (i could go on). I'm all about movies where white girls prove they can shake it (heck, i have tons of friends who could star in these movies) but do we really need another one, and does it need to be in 3 FREAKING D?!
   
   
3. What ever happened to Bob the Builder? While scrolling through the toy aisle at Tar-jay the other day ( i like to prepare myself for the stuff i'm gonna have to buy River one day) i noticed that Bob the Builder was no where to be found. My best friend (aka Brown Girl or "Mexican") pointed out that Dora's friend Manny is all the rage now "and with the help of affirmative action, has replaced Bob the Builder." I am happy to report that i did find an array of black Barbie's that actually were my shade! Back in the day all the black Barbie's are what my momma would call "high-yellow." Examples of high yellow are my son, Halle Berry, my momma, one of my brothers. Basically it's house negroes. But Matel finally realized that the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice.
   
   
4. I'm officially 6 months pregnant today!!! 3 more months and 18 more years to go!
   
   
5. What is Re jamming this week? My boy Justin Bieber!!!! (don't hate, or judge). It's Bieber's "Somebody to Love."

Yes, i was THAT pregnant woman on the dance floor

So how did you spend your weekend? I spent mine doing what every 6-month pregnant lady should be doing: dancing at the club.

I talk a lot of mess when i'm getting my hair did. I always say that i'm gonna take my new do out on the town. Shake it up on the dance floor. But after 2 hours in the beauty shop and a 45 minute drive home, i'm usually too pooped to go out. But this past Friday was different. It was the anniversary of MJ's death and everyone was playing his music non-stop. So by the time i got done with my hair, i still had energy, and so did one of my girlfriends, so we grabbed our men and headed to Opies. I've talked about Opies before, but in case you don't know the fabulousness of it, here it is in a nutshell: Imagine going to the state fair, or a local carnival. Now, imagine all the carnies doing the cupid shuffle.

That's Opies! It's so good. Even if you don't like to dance, the people watching alone is worth the $5 cover charge.

I'd feel uncomfortable taking my baby bump to any other club, but at Opie's i was sure of two things: I wasn't the only pregnant lady, and I was the best mom in there!

I was sure the baby bump coupled with sitting with my husband would take away my hot commodity status -- but i was wrong (of course i was, this is Opie's).

Bill & Ted were on an excellent adventure that night and spotted my girlfriend and me almost immediately. Bill & Ted looked like they would be more comfortable moshing to some Nirvana, but they clearly enjoyed doing the cupid shuffle along side me and my girl. That's fine, except the cupid shuffle does not require you to grind my let; Bill clearly learned this dance in prison.

For a few seconds i thought about seriously grinding on Bill and then dropping this nugget in his ear: "My son, who is in utero, is really enjoying this." But then i wondered if he was one of those freaky dude's attracted to ladies carrying other men's babies. So i just danced away from him.

Bill & Ted were not the only weirdos out. The highlight of the night was watching two young guys who both looked like Omar Epps, dance with ladies who looked like really skinny Betty Whites. To top it off, one guy had a lavender hand towel hanging out of his back pocket. At first i thought he was trying to claim a gang, but the embroidered swan on the towel made it clear that the only gang he was part of was lead by Martha Stewart.

When Lavender boy wasn't dancing with Betty White, he was stealing drinks from other people's tables. Two thoughts on this: 1) ghetto 2) brilliant! why did i not ever think of this in my younger days!

The funniest part, is that Lavender Drink Stealer was our carhop the next day at Sonic:

James: I'm gonna give him a really good tip so he can buy his own drinks!

I can't wait to put this story in River's baby book!

Potluck Friday

Woot Woot for Friday (and woot woot for getting my hair did after work!)

1. Am i the only person in the world not watching the World Cup? Am i the only person in the world who can't wait for it to be over (is it over yet), so folks will STOP posting "GOOOOAAAALLLLL" or "Go USA" or "Come on REF!!!!!!" every 5 seconds on Facebook. Don't get me wrong, i'm all about some team spirit, loving your country, yada yada yada. But people, it's SOCCER!!!! And don't give me that crap about how everyone around the word plays it, blah blah blah. I just find it amusing that everyone has become a soccer fan, yet how many of these folks have actually gone to a professional soccer game, heck how many have even gone to a college soccer game. Double heck, before the World Cup, how many could have even named a soccer player (outside of your 5 year-old niece)?
   
   
2. I don't believe in any of the old wives tales about how to know if you are carrying a boy or a girl. Folks will tell you if the heart rate is this, or if you are carrying high or low, etc. But i do believe that my little man has testosterone coursing through my body like none other and it has turned me into a raging maniac. I'm usually not an aggressive person (unless i need to be), but lately i have felt all kinds of firey and angry at little things. It mostly comes out in the form of road rage. For example, yesterday i watched a lady just drive right through a stop sign a bus had put out while it loaded some kids for summer school. The bus driver yelled out the window, but she was not phased. I waited patiently for him to put his sign back in and then i broke all kinds of speed limits to catch up to the lady and ride her tail. I'm not kidding. Seriously ReRe? Finally i came back to my senses, took some deep breaths and told River: "Mommy is acting like a fool. This is not good."
   
   
3. The other day i saw a Mazzio's Pizza delivery driver driving with a passenger. Strange! I've never seen more than one person in a pizza delivery car?
   
   
4. I did zumba the other day for the first time since i started looking like a basketball. It was kinda rough. Now i know what a middle-aged rhythmless lady feels like in a the club. I was just bumbling around, out of breath, swollen ankles and wondering if everyone was starring at me. But i'm gonna keep it up. I've read that women who exercise have easier labors. I don't believe this for one minute, BUT i plan on lying to myself about this whole labor thing for the next 3 months.
   
   
5. What's ReRe (and James) jamming this week? "California Gurls" by Katy Perry, featuring Snoop Dog. Oh, i love this song -- and i love to hear James hum it while remodeling the nursery.
   

Add this to the list of things not say to your hormonal, pregnant wife

Something tells me that a lot more of these are to come over the next 3.5 months!

ReRe: It's freaking amazing how often i have to shave the pits and legs these days. I'm getting so hairy, i look like an animal. Have you noticed how hairy i get these days?

James: Yeah. Sometimes when it's cold i use you as a blanket.

Potluck Friday

1. All i have to say is that it does not get anymore trailer park than this:

I may not know much about diapers (now anyway), but aren't they supposed to be covered up? And if so, than what's the point of them being "stylish"? Yeah, yeah, there are tons of babies who run around town with nothing but a diaper on, but the operative word is here is "nothing." They aren't sporting their jean diaper AND a white button-down and loafers. I expect this to be a flashback from Earl on My Name is Earl -- not an actual commercial made on purpose. I promise you that my boy will NOT be wearing jean diapers.

2. When i was addressing my Father's Day Card, i actually wrote my hubby's name on the envelope (a gross slip) instead of my dad's! Luckily my dad's name is also James, so all i had to do was scratch out the last name -- but it was still an awkward moment. Does this mean i have daddy issues?

3. I saw a commercial for an Oklahoma City hospital that was bragging about how there is no waiting in its ER. Apparently you can go online and reserve your spot. There are so many things wrong with this. First off, if i've accidentally sliced off my finger while trying to be Emeril in the kitchen, the last thing i'm doing is getting online and reserving a spot for 2 hours from now! And are they gonna really stick to those appointments or are they gonna be like the Social Security office where appointments are like fruit baskets -- it makes you feel good to get one, but everyone knows they mean absolutely nothing. So, let me get this right. If i've reserved a spot for, let's say 4:15, because i'm having terrible heartburn and need something stronger than what Wally World offers, and some dude rushes in with half his face gone, I'm gonna be seen before him because i have a reservation? Yeah right!

4. This is week is 22 of pregnancy, and i have put more time in than i have left to go! Woot Woot. Some highlights of this past week were:

• Lil Bro got to listen to the heartbeat (i'm a dork and bought a hand-held doppler so i can listen to my boy's heartbeat all the time). It made my day to see Lil Bro smile so big. He's very excited about being Uncle Lil Bro and having a nephew!
• James finally got to feel a kick. River has been kicking the crap out of me for about a month, but they were not strong enough to be felt from the outside -- until last night.
  
• My stomach is beginning to round out -- so i actually am beginning to look pregnant and not like i just came back from a 2-hour love fest at Golden Corral.
• Other things are rounding out as well. My loving best friend Cristina asked me: "What's going on back there." Back where? "There." and then she pointed to the extra junk in the trunk that i'm carrying. Yes, it actually is possible for my butt to get bigger.
  
• James and i watched some birth videos online. I thought it would be a good idea to prepare him for the scariness that's to come. Apparently i needed the preparing. The videos were too scary for words and i've decided that I will request to be knocked out during child birth and to never have to see anyone who was in the delivery room again (I should never have to face anyone that has seen THAT much of me - this includes James. Love you baby, it's been a fun ride, but i will have to say goodbye if you dare peak south of the border).
  

5. What's ReRe jamming this week? "Billionaire" by Travie McCoy (and i love the name Travie!):

Baby Mistake #1

I thought i had a great idea: when our boy is born, i'm gonna get some shots of him wearing nothing but a bow tie! I thought this sounded adorable. But apparently i was wrong.

James: Like a Chippendales dancer?! No way! We are not taking pictures of our kid dressed as a Chippendales dancer.

Things NOT to say to a pregnant lady

Over the years my hubby has quickly learned the things he should not say to me, or any other woman. Things like: "you're getting seconds?" "Are those pants snugger?" "When are you going to the salon?" "Oh, let me slide my hand back there -- my arms are smaller" etc.

But apparently my hubby must learn another list: things not to say to his pregnant wife.

Once he masters that list, i hope to never have a conversation like this one:

I'm standing in the bathroom, brushing my teeth

James: Are you sticking out your belly?
ReRe: Huh? Um, no.
James: Really?! You aren't sticking it out?
ReRe: Really, i'm not. This is the way it is.
James: (he gets behind me and puts both hands on my belly) You aren't poking this out at all?! This is it in a relaxed state?
ReRe: Yes, THIS IS MY BELLY NOW.
James: Wow! You really have changed in the last few weeks.
ReRe: I will kill you with this electric toothbrush.

Potluck Friday

Happy Friday!

1. If i could go back in time, i'd give Leonardo DiCaprio an Oscar for his role in What's Eating Gilbert Grape? I watched that movie this morning and it just reminded me of how dang good Leo was in the role. I'm sure you are wondering how it's not even 9 a.m. and i've had time to watch a movie. Well, these days i don't sleep well (thanks Pumpkin Seed) so i watch random movies, cartoons, the Joy Behar show (that woman is crazy and her accent is crazier) and lots of male enhancement commercials. I don't know why i can't sleep. I'm not uncomfortable (yet) but i just seem to not be able to sleep past 3 .m. Oh well, i guess my body is preparing me for October.
   
2. Is it rude that when i can't sleep i sometimes -- by sometimes i mean often -- wake up James and ask him questions like: "What are you dreaming about?" "What are you doing?" "When are you gonna wake up? and "Do you want to get up and play?" He thinks i'm a lunatic, but i think i'm doing him a favor by trying to prepare him for the role of fatherhood. I told him to pretend like i'm a crying baby.
   
3. I am convinced that Kelly from the Real Housewives of New York City is the CRAZIEST person in the WORLD. Yes, i said world. It pains me to watch her. Bravo! would never put a mentally ill person on the show and let her fight with the other women, so...oh wait, yes they would: KELLY!
   
4. James and I have both been called for jury duty on the same day. At least i won't be sitting up there alone, but jury duty sounds like no fun -- unless Pauly Shore is gonna be there.
   
5. What am i jamming this week? "OMG" by Mr. Usher Raymond. Me loves this song, it has Black Eyed Peas feel to it (probably because it features Will.I.Am):