The bearded lady

River: you have a beard!
Me: um, no i don't.
River: why not?
Me: because i'm a lady. ladies don't have beards.
River: why not?
Me: because God didn't give me a beard.
River: Daddy has a beard.
Me: yes. he has patchy hair he calls a beard.
River: Why does he call it a beard?
Me: because he's delusional.

H is for Hell

15 months ago i would have never understood the humor of this photo...but thanks to Mr. River James, i about peed my pants when i saw this. It's so dang true. My mocha munchkin has mastered all of these, but his specialty is H is for Hell

Potluck Friday!

Happy Friday!!!! the last Friday of 2011!

So, as many of you know, last weekend James and I kept our 3 nieces (ages 8, 5, and 4). It was a magical weekend of baking cookie, watching Disney Channel (which i didn't even know i had) and making up answers to tons of questions because the true answers just didn't seem to be cutting it.
There were tons of highlights from all 3 girls, but it was my youngest nieces who truly stole the show, and it would be just wrong for me not to share some of those gems with my loyal readers.

So, out of the mouth of a 4 year-old, here is a very special Potluck Friday:

1. Along with gingerbread cookies, the girls and I also made cake balls. Strawberry cake with cream cheese icing! so as i was pulling the cake from the oven, my sweet young niece blessed me with this:
   Niece: (standing behind me) That cakes smells good!
   Aunt Re: Thank you!
   Niece: But your butt doesn't! Come here girls (calling her sisters), come smell Aunt ReRe's butt.
   Aunt Re: Let's not! That's gross.
   Niece: (she bends over and points her butt at me) Your butt is bigger than mine. see?
   Aunt Re: Thanks...i had no clue!
   
2. The girls were just so intrigued by River's diaper changes. I got questioned about why he pooped his pants, why he did it so often and just WHY! Lil Niece was the most curious.
   Niece: What's wrong with River's belly button.
   Aunt Re: (i'm mid diaper change). Nothing is wrong with his belly button.
   Niece: Uh huh. It looks funny.
   Aunt Re (i realize she's not talking about his belly button): Oh, that's not his belly button. That's his private parts.
   Niece: Why does it look like that?
   Aunt Re: Because he's a boy.
   Niece (shuttering in disgust): Ugh!
   Aunt Re: hahaha! keep that attitude for as long as possible!
   
3. Lil Niece's curiosity with Riv's bathroom behavior did not stop there. While i was finishing the cake balls in the kitchen -- because the girls abandoned me when they realized that the dipping part sounded funner than it actually is -- i heard Uncle "Bames" having the strangest conversation.
   Uncle Bames: Poop is not a toy. Bring that poop back here.
   
   Before i knew it, Lil Niece was beside me in the kitchen, swinging around a walmart bag with a poopy diaper. You would have thought she had a bag full of money. she was so dang excited. So excited that she sang me a song.
   Niece: I got the poop! I got the poop! I got the poop! (she sang this several times while twirling the bag with joy....it's the little things!)
   
4. I don't know who she was proclaiming this to, but as Lil Niece was walking through the house, i heard her say (to no one in particular): Boogers are sticky like glue!
   

Please turn to Apps 3:16

Our new family Christmas tradition (new as in this year) is to read the Nativity Story before we open our gifts. We thought it would be a good way to further the message to our offspring that Christmas is not about 5,609 presents under the tree...or even cookies, but the birth of our savior.

So anywhoo, it's time to bust out the story, and this is the conversation that ensued -- further proof that we are too reliant on technology:

ReRe: Daddy, you wanna look up the Nativity story so we can read it and then we'll do gifts.
James: Yeah, but i'll have to unplug my phone first (his phone was playing Christmas Pandora)
ReRe: Why do you need your phone?
James: So I can pull up the Bible app.
ReRe: Just get a regular Bible.
James: We have those? Like a hard copy, printed out one?
ReRe: Umm....???? YEAH! Like 3 or 4 of them.

I tell them where they are ....where we've kept them the last 7 years of marriage.

James (carrying the Bible in his hand): this is what we'll use if our app ever goes down and we need to upload a new copy!

Geesh!

Potluck Friday

Happy Friday!!!

1. Yowza, it's been a LOOONGGG time since i've done a Potluck Friday. I'd like to blame River, but i can't. Truth is, it's me! I'm just so dang lazy/tired these days. But i feel refreshed this morning -- even after a 12 hour work day yesterday! So here ya go!
   
   
2. Is it just me, or am i the only who thinks Amy Winehouse died a long time ago and came back as Lady GaGa? I don't know much about either one of "them" so i could be wrong. But did anyone ever see them in the same room at the same time? I'm just saying this is a possibility. If the folks who work at the Daily Planet never figured out that Clark Kent was never around when Superman was, then it's possible that this has also gone unnoticed. Maybe Amy GaGa got tired of playing both roles. Something to think about!
   
   
3. It's Tax Free Weekend here in the great Sooner State. In theory this weekend is supposed to help folks save money while getting ready for Back to School (and stop them from all going to Texas and spending their money there), but in reality it makes absolutely no sense. School Supplies aren't even tax free...yet you can get a wedding dress tax free?! I mean, that's a good deal if you are a bride-to-be, but that does nothing for 1st Grade Billy who has to buy 4 boxes of markers, 3 notebooks, pens, pencil, and 19 boxes of kleenex. Well, i guess it's good for Billy if he's into drag and wants to be a show stopper in an Alfred Angelo wedding dress. You go boy!
   
   
4. New in the world of River: crawling (he prefers to do the Mowgli crawl from the Jungle Book), eating out of the dog bowls, getting on his belly so he can look under the fridge (i'm tempted to give him a broom or something), biting -- just mama, and....his man parts. He discovered them recently and they are clearly cooler than anything Fisher Price can make.
   
   
5. What's ReRe jamming this week? A LOT! There are some great songs out there. One of my faves is "Sure Thing" by Miguel. It's another one of those that just makes you wanna grab the one you love and cuddle up!
   
   

Potluck Friday

1. Do you know what today is? Nope, it’s not just Friday. Nope, it’s not just Potluck Friday. It’s the first day of Summer Fridays!!!! Summer Fridays means that my office closes at 3 p.m. every Friday until Labor Day! Jealous?! You should be! What What! But this also means that I have less time to do what I need to get done, so it will be a busy day…but oh so worth it to get off early!
   
   
2. So I went and saw Bridesmaids this week (if you are friends with me on Facebook, you know that I thought it was good--- some other(s) didn’t!). I think my favorite part of the whole movie was the cameo by Wilson Phillips. You can’t tell me that you don’t automatically sing aloud when you hear “Hold On”! And if you don’t sing out lout you are 1) lying or 2) not human. I think Wilson Phillips should be required to do a cameo in every movie!
   
   
   
3. Mornings out casa de ReRe-Ramblings are busy, but fun these days with Mr. Rivvy Riv in the house. They are so fun that James never wants them to change. I over heard him telling River this yesterday morning: River, when you’re 15, I still want you to come in our room in the mornings, lay across the bed while having your bottle and watch us get dress. Ummm, NOT gonna happen! (unless we move to Arkansas).
   
   
4. I just want to share that as i write this, i'm jamming to Hold On!!! I just couldn't help it! here it comes..wait for it it....Some day somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye....
   That is the JAM! but as i listen to the words, i've realized that it's a really "suck it up and stop being sad you big baby" message. Frasier Crane would not approve!
   
   
5. Other that Wilson Phillips, you know what else i'm jamming this week? A song with some of my favorite folks: "Give Me Everything" by Pitbull ft. Neyo (yeah!), Afrojack and Nayer. I actually shuck my booty to this song this morning in Zumba. Love it!
   
   

Another adventure in parenting

Yesterday i spread a blanket on the floor for Riv so we could have some fun with blocks. He chewed on the blocks and threw them at the dogs while i tried to turn our play time into some learning time.
I'd hold up a letter block and tell him what the letter was and a word that started with that letter.

"B is for Baby!"

"E is for Egg!"

Then i got to N and for some reason the first word that popped in my head was Negro.

So there i sat, holding up a wood block with a green N and said "N is for Negro."

River cracked up!

A couple of hours later i noticed James was playing the same game.

He held up a block with an F on it, paused, and said "F is for Funky Fresh."

So just our luck someone is gonna ask Riv his name and he's going to say "Funky Fresh Negro."

There is a reason why James and I have never been invited as guest stars on Sesame Street!

Dis Lil Piggy

I am not ashamed to admit that I don't always remember which order the letters in the alphabet go and i don't know all of the words to some of the most popular nursery rhymes. I've discovered both of these things about myself in the past 7 months of motherhood. But you know what? River doesn't care! Why? Because he has no clue that "Elamenablah Q" is not a letter. So when i fumble or forget, i keep rocking it out like i'm a rockstar who just fell off the stage. And he doesn't care that "Mamas gonna buy you rocking bird" 1) doesn't exist 2) is not the correct words.

I think River actually prefers my made up rhymes better anyway. I've actually jazzed up quite a few of them. And i'd like to share one with you (feel free to use it with your kiddos -- just don't forget to give me my props):

The Three Lil Pigs
This lil piggy went up ova to shaniqua's house to see what's poppin
And this lil piggy stayed back at da crib
This lil piggy had some BBQ chicken, collard greens and cornbread and some red Kool-Aid
And this lil piggy had none cus his check don't come to the 1st of da month
And this lil piggy went whassup whassup whassup all the way up to River's chinny chin chin

This by far is Riv's favorite nursery rhyme. It might not be the best rhyme for everyone, so i encourage you to jazz it up to fit your kid. Here's an example for mamas who are on the "hoity toity" side

The Three Little Pigs
This little piggy sent her nanny to the went to the market in search of pesticide free, organic lettuce
And this little piggy stayed home to work out to her favorite Denise Austin abs video
This little piggy had half a turkey sandwich and four peanut M&Ms (but didn't write the M&Ms in her food journal
And this little piggy had none because her husband said he would buy her bigger boobs if she lost 15 pounds
And this little piggy went boohoo hooo as she watched the final episodes of Oprah

Oh, so that's where babies are made!

I'll admit it. I have a cute kid. Even if he wasn't mine, i'd still think he was a cutie patootie. I also admit that our shopping trips take at least a half-hour longer because folks want to oogle him. We get the expected comments "He's so cute" "look at those big brown eyes" "i love his hair" etc.

But we got the strangest comment/conversation during a recent shopping trip. River and I were perusing the pharmacy section while James waited on a prescription. A guy who could probably replace Bernie Mac in the Kings of Comedy smiled at me a few times and nodded at River. He mumbled. Most folks wouldn't have known what he said, but since I have a lot of uncles (and a daddy) who could be members of the Kings of Comedy, i speak southern-drawl-black man. He was saying River was a good looking young man.

When James walked up to us, Pharmacy Bernie Mac gave James a fist bump (i was proud that James knew what to do!). While fist bumping, Bernie Mac said:

That's a good looking boy you got there. You didn't get him from Wal-Mart. Nope, that kid was made in the bedroom!

And then he did a creepy grunt/giggle.

How do you respond to that?! James, who doesn't speak southern-drawl-black man, didn't think he heard him correctly. But oh yeah, that's what he said.

So yes ladies and gents, you do not get Rivers at Wally World. They are strictly made in the bedroom.

Crap happens -- and ruins blogs!

So I've been getting a lot of crap lately about my irregular blogging. I'm not gonna call anyone out (cristina, james, emily, terah, kasie), but they know who they are.
In my defense, my mornings are jammed packed ever since a 15 pound meat loaf named River came into my life. Every morning i have every intention of blogging, but that doesn't always happen.

Let me tell you a story i like to call: Monday, April 4, 2011.

All weekend I was thinking about my blog topics for the week. I knew exactly what i was going to blog about Monday, April 4, 2011. I was actually on track to get to write the post. And then crap happened. Literally. CRAP.
Before i go there, let me give you a peek at what the mornings usually look like:

4:20 a.m. alarm goes off so i can hook up the the dairy machine (also known as pumping so my boy can eat at day care)
4:45 a.m. i actually wake up to hook up to the dairy machine
5:15 a.m. finish pumping, but on my gym clothes
5:30 a.m. head to the gym to work off 9 months of River and 29 years of living the delicious life
6:15 a.mish return from gym. cook breakfast for the hubby and me. while james feeds river cuddle my boy
6:45 blog (but doesn't always happen)
7:00 shower
7:20-7:50 hair, makeup, get dressed, cuddle my boy more while daddy gets him dressed
7:50-8:10 hook up to dairy machine again
8:10-8:15 pack diaper bag
8:15 leave for work, drop river off at daycare, work by 8:30

That's the usual. except on Mondays when James goes to work at 7 a.m. So that brings us to Monday, April 4, 2011.
I'm on track to get my blog in. I've got River in his high chair, i'm feeding him some cereal with one hand, also using that hand to feed myself some cereal (not his, but some special k) while i'm also hooked to the dairy machine. All is going well. I've got 10 more mins on the dairy machine, i'm going to dress Riv and go blog.

Rewind.
When i put River in his highchair, i noticed a funny smell. I didn't know what it was or where it was coming from. I figured it was his double chin (babies get funky chins/necks sometimes when drool and milk get stuck in the rolls) so i figured i'd just wipe him down real good.
We finish breakfast. I take him to the room, strip him, wipe off the funk, lotion him up and put his clothes on. I pick him up to cuddle him and realize he still smells funky. then i notice a tiny blob of poo on the changing table. That's weird. I had just checked his diaper and he was clean. But there was poop on the changing table. I take off his clothes and check his diaper again. No poop, BUT a big poop blob on his back. Weird. So now poop is on his outfit, back and changing table. But not a drop in his diaper. It's like the poop jumped from his crack to his back.

A voice, maybe it was God, told me to go look in his highchair. Oh that voice. I go take a peek and yowza, holy poopalooza. The highchair is covered. How did i miss this? How did i not know that it was his butt, not his multiple chins making that funk. So now there's poop on his outfit, back, changing table, high chair and floor (yes, the poop had seeped from the high chair to the floor). Oh wait, it's also on my hand. There goes blogging. It's amazing how one poop can take you from being 20 minutes ahead of schedule to 40 minutes behind.
I clean us up first, put him in the swing (the naughty swing at that moment -- just kidding!) and then clean up the rest. Easier said than done. For the life of me i can't get the dang highchair cover off so i can wash it (wash it along with the vibrating chair cover that he pooped on the day before). I'm trying to unfasten it, but the only thing that that's coming off is poop -- onto my hand. I'm saying choice words. Cursing Fisher Price for making the dang chair so difficult, cursing sweet potatoes for making River's poop so dang gross these days. And curing the blogging gods because yet again I wasn't going to get to blog.

I finally opt to just put the chair in the garage and wait for James to figure out how to take the cover off (it went in the garage b/c i felt that was more sanitary than leaving it in my kitchen covered in poop funk).

I was proud of myself though. I was able to get to work on time. But no, there was no blog.
But you know what, don't blame me. Any time you don't see a new post, blame this guy:

Potluck Friday

Yay! Happy Friday!

1. Who went to bed last night at 7:30? Umm, you can't see me, but i have my hand in the air. You'd think i'd be rested, but i'm still exhausted. River is an easy baby, not fussy, sleeps through the night, etc. But dang, he just makes me tired! between loving on those fat cheeks, doing laundry and trying to maintain looking fabulous for my hubby (well, as fabulous as i can look while still feeling like i look like a melted hershey kiss) i'm tired! So double TGIF!
   
   
2. I don't regularly tune in to Idol, but i saw enough on Tuesday to know that the dude who "sang" the Usher song needed to go, and luckily America agreed with me. I think that was the WORST thing i've ever heard. And i'm glad everyone thinks that Jacob Lusk is the second coming of Luther, but i have two thoughts on that: 1) No he's not and 2) even if he was, who cares because the 12 year-old girls voting have no idea that a house is not a home or who Luther is!
   
   
3. For the first time in 29 years, i'm giving up something for Lent. Sweets. So from Wednesday, March 9 - Saturday, April 23 (my wedding anniversary) I'm going to be a hot freaking mess! So you've been warned. I HAVE to do this. I work out like a mad woman, i've done so for year. I love me some cardio. And i truly believe that if Betty Crocker had never been born, i'd totally be a size 2. But dang that Betty and her delicious recipes for all things that make my butt big(ger). That coupled with having a group of girlfriends that love food do not help the situation. so i'm trying to take out my kryptonite. Wish me luck! (and James luck, and well, anyone who is around me those 40 days).
   
   
4. (TMI Alert) So last night when i woke up from my mid-evening nap, the house smelled warm and good, like something had been cooked. I was starving and was excited at the prospect of something tasty. While i slept, James and River spent time playing and doing dishes. I rolled over and looked at James:
   ReRe: The house smells yummy! Did you cook something.
   James: No, but i farted.
   
   Thanks honey. Thanks for making my appetite disappear faster than Taylor Hicks on the Top 40 Hits list. Thanks for that!
   
   
5. What's ReRe jamming this week. Some Lil Wayne!!! I love Mr. Carter. and i love this song "6 foot 7 foot." Mr. Carter is a talented dude. And i strongly suggest watching his Behind the Music story -- totally will make you see him in a different light. (wow, i have a crush on him).
   

Potluck Friday

TGIF!

1. Today I'm going to take my planning for River's future to the next level and go open him up a saving's account. His PaPa (my daddy) sent him $100 this week! Of course River wanted to spend it on hookers and breastmilk, but i told him he had to put it in the bank. My hope is that he will use this account for an ivy league college, but i'm a realist so I'm aware that it may be used for trade school, to travel some European country and "find himself," to prove he is NOT the father or...hookers and breastmilk. Either way, at least I'm doing something good for him!
   


2. I saw an amazing speaker this week, Rick Bender. He has been to groups about spit tobacco. If you know anyone who uses spit tobacco -- or any tobacco for that matter -- i'd highly recommend sending them a link to Rick's site.
   


3. I currently have 41 games of Words with Friends open. Yes FORTY ONE. So if you are wondering why i haven't made a move in our game in forever, now you know. (me thinks maybe blasting my screen name on my blog and facebook was maybe not my smartest move! or was it!!!). If i were restaurant, the wait time would be 22 hours!
   


4. I finally watched the Bieber episode of Glee and i loved it! I'm not a bandwagon Bilieber like some folks. I know lots of folks are jumping on the wagon AFTER seeing this episode or watching the movie. BUT I've been loving the Biebs since before i even knew he was a boy (yes, i thought he was a girl -- a very talented girl). So Biebs, if you are reading this (and you should be because my blog rocks and all the cool kids read it ), know that i'm one of your ORIGINAL fans!
   


5. What is Re jamming this week? It's "Down on Me" by Jeremih ft. 50 Cent. I admit to making a fool out of myself in front of some teens yesterday when i turned this up a little (in my mini-vanish looking car with my 4 month old in the back) and broke it down!

Potluck Friday

TGIF!!!

1. Apparently Hollywood is tapped out of ideas for movies, because i've seen remakes that honestly, don't need to be done. I knew something was up when i saw the preview for The Roommate. My first reaction was "Ummm, isn't that Single White Female?!" But i gave Hollywood a pass. But i can't give them a pass on the two previews i saw last night: Red Riding Hood and Beastly. Ummm, taking "Little" out of the title is not going to make folks think this is NOT Little Red Riding Hood. And i don't have enough time to explain why i think Beastly is just WRONG. All i will say is the chick from Terminator already did a remake. Once CBS does it, there's no need for more.
   
2. I will admit that last night when Justin Beiber was shot and killed i wept a little. What? You didn't hear. Yeah, the Bieb's character on CSI was killed last night. Tear. I love the Biebs. I'm a Belieber!
   
3. Is it sad that the other day when River had what i can only describe as something that should be illegal in his diaper, i laid him down on the bathroom floor (yes, it was that messy that he needed to be on tile) and ran for my camera instead of cleaning supplies, so i could send pics to James?! It's like River only does blowouts for me (blow-out: a bowel-filled diaper that has an amount that is higher than that which the diaper can hold, resulting in a mess that often requires clothes, sheets and other items to be washed). Some how James always misses these. So i thought it was only fair that he get some pics!
   
4. What's ReRe jamming this week? It's Chris Brown's "Yeah 3x." I can't help but to shake it when i hear this song.
   

The Great Wall of China (aka getting "fixed) Debate

It's funny how the second you bust out a kid, everyone wants to know one thing: When are you guys having another one?

Well, honestly River is still under warranty so were seeing if he is a keeper or not before we make any decisions. Haha! Just kidding! If I knew for a fact that all babies were as easy as River, i'd have a dozen. But I know this is not the case, so therefore James and i will not be having a dozen mixie babies.

But we will have at least one more. I'm cool with two, but James (who is #9 of 11 kids) would like at least 3. So that brings us to the conversation we had recently:

James: So when we have kid # 3 are you going to get your tubes tied?

ReRe (shocked, because pretty sure we've discussed this before): Ummm, who says were having 3? AND I'm NOT the one getting fixed? It's YOU!

James: Me?

ReRe: Yea, it's your soldiers who are gonna be blocked by the great wall of China. It's an easier process for you. Snippity snip, in and out. Why should i have the kids PLUS have to have another huge process? No thank you! It's all you buddy!

James: But what if my younger second wife wants to have kids?!

I then proceeded to punch him in the jejunum!

For your viewing pleasuring: River! (I call this photo "Half White/Half Black Power")

Potluck Friday

Happy Friday!!!

1. Man, it's been a while since i've done a Potluck Friday (as some of you have so lovingly reminded me via email, facebook, text and over dinner -- James!). In my defense, the last couple of Fridays have been holidays -- Christmas Eve and New Years Eve. But excuses are like crazy family members, everyone has a couple and no one wants to talk about them (well, that's a lie b/c i talk about Crazy Cousin Keisha all the time, so much so that she has been calling to tell me crazy stories and then says "you gonna blog that girl?!") Anywhoo, i'm back on Fridays!
   
2. Today is someone's last day to be 34 -- if you say me i will KILL you. I have 4 more years until that statement is true about me. Tomorrow is James' 35th birthday! Yes, he is a cradle robber. River is going to stay with Auntie Cris so i can take my big boy out on a date. Or heck, we may stay home and eat hot meal with both hands -- the things you cherish after kiddos. Whatever we do, it will be nice. It's been almost 11 weeks since we've been alone just the two of us.
   
3. I know it seems like i always rant about Facebook, but it's just because i love it so and hate to see it change. The latest thing that's bugging me is the new profile. I like it alright, but i haven't been able to figure out how to tell if i have friends in common with someone (if you know how, please educate me). Back in the old Facebook days -- 2 months ago -- when someone friend requested you, you could see what friends you had in common. This is how i decided if i wanted to accept of ignore. For example, if i see we have 14 friends in common, and then i click to see that those 14 friends are the 14 ghettoest friends on my friend list, i might have to ignore (I have a ghetto friends quota so i'm picky about what ghetto fab friends i accept). I try not to accept too many friends who are gonna blow up my news feed with baby daddy drama updates and ghetto type where they replace all the S's with $. (don't act like this doesn't bug you too!)
   
4. I'm happy to report that i returned to the gym on Dec. 20th and i've made it 3-4 days every week. I feel good, i've dropped the 22 pounds i gained with River and i'm looking to get into the best freaking shape of my life. No, that's not a size 2 -- my head is wayyyy too big to support that, besides all the "skinny" girls in my family are size 12! I just want to get toned up and be ready in 2 years to chase River around the house!
   
5. What's ReRe jamming this week? It's Rihanna's "What's My Name" featuring Drake. I love this song. it seems to be on the radio every morning at 7:40 so i sing it to River on the way to school :)
   

This little piggy went to, um, um...

I'm not going to pretend that James and I are super parents, but i'll admit that we are pretty good ones! Maybe we are just naturals, OR (and i think it's this one) maybe we just lucked out and got an easy going kiddos that just makes us look good. Either way, i'm not complaining.

BUT i will admit there is one area that James and I are lacking in: nursery rhymes.

We have no idea the words to most nursery rhymes and kid songs. I sing "You are my sunshine" because i best know the words to that -- but it was until recently that i realized i was singing it in the wrong tune.

I mostly sing Top 40 to River -- edited versions of course. And James sings what ever pops into his head. The other day he was singing him the theme song to "Two and a Half Men." and yes, that song only has two words.

So i admit that we struggle in this area, but i didn't realize until this morning that James' struggle was much worse than mine until he asked me this:

"What did the first little piggy do again?"

Apparently James forgot that the first piggy went to the market! He's been telling River that the piggy went to the mall or to town -- depending on the day.

ReRe: How do you not know the words to "This little piggy?!"

James: Flog me, pull me out in the streets and flog me and tell the world that i don't know the words to "This little piggy."

Well, i'm telling the world -- the flogging will come later.

Where's ReRe?

So if you've been logging on for the last week you have noticed that i've been MIA.
Well, at midnight Tuesday, October 26, 2010 i officially went into labor. (honestly i had been in labor for days, if not weeks, but that's when i looked at James and said "let's go to the hospital.")
I was 3 days past my due date and ready. And a few hours before i watched the turd called "MacGruber" and i think it was so bad that River was trying to break loose!

After 16 hours of labor, James and I welcomed our son River James into the world at 3:58 p.m. 7lbs 1oz and 21 inches long!



He is gorgeous. A head full of hair (i guess that heartburn myth was not a myth!). Eyes that look into your soul. I could go on. He's dang cute. And he looks just like my mama, which makes my heart melt. She would be so proud. No, she IS so proud.

A lot of folks have asked me if i will still keep blogging. Umm, yeah! I love blogging! But i am taking a little break while i'm on maternity leave so i can spend time with my boy and figure this whole motherhood thing out. I may pop in every once in a while to post something i just couldn't hold in, but i won't officially be back in full swing until Christmas. So don't forget about me! I'll be back!

Potluck Friday

It's probably the best Friday ever!!!

1. Why? Because it's my last day of work before maternity leave AND my last Friday without my kiddo! Tomorrow is officially my due date -- 40 weeks of preggoness here I come. And tomorrow begins the countdown for River to make his debut. He's got until Thursday and then he'll officially get the boot. My gut -- and my SIL (who correctly predicted 14 years ago that our nephew would be born on leap year) -- tells me that my boy is planning to make an entrance on Monday. So we'll see! I'd love for that to be the case, because on Oct. 25, 2003, River's daddy asked me on a date. So it only makes sense for River to pop in on October 25th! Fingers crossed.
   
   
2. There's been A LOT of nesting going on in la casa de ramblings. I even somehow convinced my hubby that River needed a screen door on the front of the house?!!! So No. 1 dad will be installing that in the next 24-28 hours. I still don't know how i won that argument -- probably had something to do with the fact that i actually wasn't screaming, complaining or crying and James just said "Yes, sure, you're right" to keep the peace! (i'm gonna miss getting my way just cus i'm with child). I gave the house a good dusting last week, and this weekend i/we plan to do a good vacuuming and mopping. Why? you ask. Because i don't want my kid to think God jipped him and gave him to the nasty people. I want the house to be shiny. And we all know that some kids DO get jipped and get stuck with the nasty parents (dirty laundry and dog hair all over, bugs, smell of cat pee). That ain't us! And it never will be! (cus i hate cats!)
   
   
3. Last night was a sad night. It was the season finale of Jersey Shore. Tear. All i have to say is this: I can't stand Sammi, (why you so cranky? and you seriously need a cough drop cus that voice is NOT cute. You sound like Phoebe when she got sick and did the sexy version of "Smelly Cat"), i heart Pauly D, and Snooki, you DID tell JWow that Pauly was talking smack, and you LIED! But i still love you, even if you are darker than me.
   
   
4. It's time for some more Facebook rants. We all know how much i can't stand things like: updates that tell all your ghetto bizness, Bible verses (I love God, but i also know he does not have a Facebook and that verse ain't getting you into heaven. 1 is fine, but daily is too much), or updates that are about nothing other than how much you love your kid or spouse. again. sweet. but tell THEM that, not US! But now i have another pet peeve. It's not new, but i've just been noticing it more and more: Folks answering questions about me. What's this about? Every so often i will get a post on my wall telling me that some random person answered questions about "ReRe" and i have answers to unlock. What the heck? And why is the person answering the questions about me always that random friend who i probably shouldn't be friends with in the first place because 1) i really don't know who they are, but felt too guilty to decline the request 2) i really don't like them, but felt too guilty to decline the request and have been too lazy to delete them or 3) they don't know me well enough to answer 1 question about me, let alone enough to warrant a wall post!
   But Facebook has been very entertaining this week because Crazy Cousin Keisha now has a Facebook. and even though she does all the things that drive me nuts with the updates, i can't get enough! Some update highlights from my craziest family member( copy and pasted directly. no lie!):
   

   i had a scrub named PATRICK YOUNGBLOOD.Sorry 2 put u on blast but the ni@ga was water resistant.lol. Anybody else out there allergic 2 soap and water? Lol. Im over it(him)now.just he HAD sum cool while I was hormonal 4 9 months.but now im singing the Chrisette Michelle cut"EPIPHANY" ya know?!
   
   

   does anybody else besides me love grocry shoppin the day after the 1st? After the traffic has somewhat died?
   
   

   why do guys think its ok 2 fart OUT LOUD abruptly and then proceed 2 carry out the conversation like nothin happenened while lookin u n the eye? FREAKN GROSS! Unproper 4real

   
   

   
   

   
   
5. What's ReRe jamming this week? It's not new, but i just love this song. It's "How to Save a Life" by The Fray. It was part of our sermon last week at church (reading the story behind the song makes me love it so much more):
   
   

Count Down to the end of my life....

Some pregnant ladies get annoyed when folks want to rub their bellies -- i don't mind (as long as you aren't some weirdo and you have all your teeth or at least a good set of dentures)

Some pregnant ladies get annoyed at comments like "are you carrying twins?" "man, you look like you were due yesterday" or the plain and simple "you are huge." -- amazingly i don't mind these either. As long as their is a kiddo in me, you can comment on my roundness all you want. BUT in 3-4 weeks you better shut your face.

But what i CAN'T stand are the constant comments about how "your life is going to be OVER. so enjoy this time while you can."

Don't get me wrong, i know that life is going to be very different. I won't be able to decide that I need to go to Opies in an hour. I may not be rushing out to see a 2 hour new release in the near-near future, and my nights of 9 hours of sleep are going to dwindle (though if you are on Facebook at 3 a.m. you would know that i haven't slept through the night in at least two months).

Yes, i know all of these things and more. But there's nothing worse than telling two people who are about to start such an exciting journey that life is really about to SUCK. I have some mommy friends who tell me all the ugly sides of pregnancy and the after, i love and need that, it's real. But what i don't love or need is weird laughing church lady who told me Sunday: "Man, you won't be going out alone for a long, long time. Kiss those movies and dates goodbye once this baby comes."

(James said i should have told her: well, my hubby is not ashamed of me, so he will still take me out.)

Other annoying your-life-is-gonna-suck-soon comments i hate are:

• You and James are never going to have "alone" time again. -- umm, that's right. because people NEVER have "alone" time after they have a kid. that's why every couple has just one kid (ignore the fact that James is #9 of ELEVEN kids) . Ok???
  


• No more date nights. -- to the folks that have not been on a date since their kid was born 10 years ago, shame on you! don't blame that on your kid! just admit that you just don't really like your old lady/old man anymore! Trust me, this mama will have her some date nights. happy mama = happy house!
  


• When someone's kid is acting a fool, throwing a crazy tantrum, the parents look at you and say: "I hope you are ready for this." -- No, i'm not ready for that, and i don't need to be because i'm not gonna have a BeBe kid. Notice that it's always the person with the baddest kid who wants to prepare you for incidents like your kid slapping you in Wal-Mart or your teen calling you a "B." Now, i'm not saying my boy is going to be perfect, but I know how my mama raised me and trust me, we knew better to act a fool in private, let alone in public!

My question is this: if kids are sooooooooo terrible, than why do folks keep busting them out!

Ok, off my soapbox!

Potluck Friday!

1. I think it was 3:14 a.m. when James rolled over and said: "hey guess what? River is going to be here in 3 weeks -- that's CRAZY!" and then he turned over and went back to sleep. It is crazy. Today is October 1st, the last first day of the month that James and i will wake up without a child in the house. WEIRD. Today is also hair day -- woot woot. I refuse to bring a child into this world with my hair looking a hot mess, so i'm going to see Ms. CoCo later today so she can get me labor ready.
   
   
2. James' favorite commercials are the Restasis ads. He gets a kick out of the patient saying "Doctor, my eyes have been so dry, what's wrong?" and the doc saying "You have dry eye." Every time he sees it he cracks up.Clearly we've both gone into the wrong profession. I didn't know being a doctor was so easy. I could have told the dry eye lady she had freaking dry eye! What's next, going to the doc and saying that your hair has been thinning and the doc saying "you are experiencing thinning hair. " or saying you have been coughing and blowing your nose and the doc saying "you have a case of coughs and stuffy/runny nose." Medical field here i come.
   
   
3. I saw on the news that a new planet was found. Ummm, if i was Pluto i'd be ticked! And i love how scientists always say "new" when they find something. Ummm, new means new, not it took us x amount of years to find this!
   
   
4. All i have to say is Praise Jesus -- Angelina FINALLY left Jersey Shore last night! And i BETTER NOT see that girl on the 3rd season (yes, there will be a third, and yes, i will be watching it. Don't judge!) Now if only that Amber chick from Teen Mom would leave the show all would be right in the world (oh, except for the poverty, war, hate, politicians, etc. but those are not as entertaining at MTV shows).
   
   
5. What am i jamming this week? I'm embarrassed to admit it, but the song is called "Toot it and Boot" it by YG. I had to ask my brothers what it exactly meant. Of course i was appalled and disgusted (and still not clear what it means), but i can't help but to sing along and bob my head when it comes on. I secretly wanna scream "That's my jam" when i hear it, but i'm 29 and too old to admit that publicly.