My life on the wild side

So James and I recently got a Sam's membership. I initially thought we'd save tons of money on diapers -- but what i found out is just because it's at Sam's doesn't mean it's cheaper. So we still buy our diapers at Wally Word. But we are loving Sam's if for nothing but the samples! Is it sad that my favorite "date" is walking through Sam's with James. What makes it even better is that James is a vegetarian and a picky eater in general, so he doesn't like 99 percent of samples...so i get double!

Let me set the scene:

We stalk the best samples. If the sample lady is not ready (why does it take them so long? just set out the dang rotisserie chicken, it ain't gotta be an art display), we pretend to look at other things beside her. "Ooooh baby! look at these frozen peas!" "oh yeah, those look nice...all 66 pounds of them."

And then when she's ready, we SWOOP in.

ReRe: oooh, chicken! I didn't see these when i walked by earlier. Hey babe, here's some chicken i think you'd like!
James: (in his best meat-eater voice) Yum, that looks good.

We both grab chicken samples. I gobble mine. Once we round the corner and are out of ear shot of the sample lady (because she would even care), James always looks down at his sample and says the same thing: Oh my, i just remembered i don't eat meat. I guess you better eat this.

And i gobble his (well, i share with River)!

Now, you are probably laughing at me that i take my sample sneaking so seriously. Heck, the sample lady could probably care less if took two chicken wings instead of one. But i've lived a relatively low-key, no-trouble life (i live all the gangsta living up to my brothers), so this is my once a week to be a bad mamma jamma -- don't steal my thunder!