Friday, April 23, 2010
This is a special edition because today, April 23, 2010, is James and my 5 year wedding anniversary! In celebration, James and I have 9 whole days off. Sadly that means the blog will be on vacation as well, but have no fear, it will return May 3rd!
Here is a look at the fabulous day James and I shared on April 23, 2005:
Here's to another 55 years with my best friend!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
- i hate carrying my purse and my workout bag to work
- i never bring enough water so by the time i get to gym i don't have anything to drink
- it's so easy to say "forget it" and just drive home after work
But the worst part about working out in the afternoon is the gym itself. Not only is it crazy crowded -- i basically have to park at my house and walk to the Y -- but people are crazier in the afternoon. Two ladies almost mowed me down in the parking lot yesterday. One was on her cell phone and just pulled out in front of me (i have a strict "no cell phones while driving in the Y parking lot" rule) and the other lady looked like she was sleep and did not hit her breaks until her teen yelled "MOM." And then she glared at me. I thought about glaring back and showing her my favorite finger but then i realized we went to church together.
Sadly, all this drama is before i even got into the gym. When you walk in there are people every where. They are signing up for memberships -- blocking the little kiosk i slide my card in-- they are chasing after little kids. They are every where. And then when you get inside the actual workout room you have to wait a thousand years for a good machine. I run up to an empty elipitical only to find an "Out of Order" sign. When i finally do get on a machine, Sweaty Joe stands 2 inches behind me waiting for me to get off. I feel his eyes staring at my timer making sure i don't go over the suggested 30 minute time limit.
I'm tempted to just sit on my butt and let it expand -- but after a 10 p.m. snack of a honey bun , i know that's not the smart option. So i will suck it up and dodge cars in the parking lot, be forced to let a 5 year-old hold the door open for me, and let Sweaty Joe breathe down my neck.
But i won't like any of it.
Friday, April 16, 2010
- Today begins the official week countdown of James and my 5th year wedding anniversary! Next Friday we will have outlasted 98 percent of Hollywood couples!
- You know what i hate more than racists? Racists who think it's appropriate to make racial about one group to another minority. It's like they think it's ok to be racist, as long as you are not the race or ethnic group they are busting on. I took a stroll through Motherhood Maternity the other day -- a mistake i will blog about next week. (I promise this won't turn into a "mommy blog" but there are some things i must share!). The cashier and i were chatting about all kinds of things and got on the subject of vacationing in Mexico. And then she said the tackiest thing -- i've heard this term before, but seriously who says this to a customer:
Nazi Cashier: When you are in Mexico you have to be careful because a lot of those little shops will try to Jew you on the prices.
I thought i heard her wrong. I said "huh?" And then she just repeated it. Really? Really? I just grabbed my sack and left. Seriously? I wonder what she says when the black chick is not in the store. I reminded me of an office manager of small firm i worked at for a short time. She always would talk about "jewing" vendors down on services. Oh, i'd love to see what she had to say when the black girl was no longer there!
- James and I have sworn off movies at the Redbox. Yeah, yeah, i've said it before, but i'm serious this time -- i think. We rented Couples Retreat. Words can not express how bad this was. I've seen worse, but i've seen wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better. I didn't know if it was supposed to be a comedy or a drama or a guide of not what to do in marriage. I was confused. No bueno.
- 10 years ago i knew it was a mistake to put a certain person in charge of the Norman High School Class of 2000 reunion and now my fears are coming true. Guess who didn't get invited -- Me! Everyone is talking on Facebook about the reunion and i've yet to receive and invite! That's whack -- it ain't a party if ReRe Smith ain't there! I'm kidding. Kind of.
- What is ReRe jamming this week? "Say Something" by Timbaland ft. Drake. This song brings out the ghetto fab in me. I'm talking moon roof open, head popping, arm in the air embarrassing Lil Bro to the bone. This song is so good!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
ReRe: This shirt makes me look fat.
James: #1, I think fat chicks are hot. and #2, no it doesn't.
I love that man.
Monday, April 12, 2010
I have a Facebook friend request that i've left in pending mode for about 2 weeks. I'm kind of hoping that i will pend it for so long that the person will forget about me and cancel the request.
Why don't you just ignore it, you ask? Well, i'm too nice for that. I'd rather just pretend i haven't seen it. Maybe the person will think i don't check my page often. Maybe they will think I moved to another country that doesn't have Facebook.
What happens when you ignore a request? Does the person get a message that says "Your former co-worker who you worked with over 2 years ago, but barely said two words to has decided that she does not want to be your friend"?
I really wish that's the message that would get sent. Because really, why does someone who basically snarled at me for 5 years, now want to be my friend on Facebook? I can honestly say that i like all of my Facebook friends. When i get a friend suggestions, i don't just approve them automatically because we have 72 friends in common or because we had the same third grade teacher. If i think "Ugh, i couldn't stand that girl back in 1992" i DON'T send a request!
While i'm on my Facebook rant, what's up with folks who put all their drama into their status updates?
I'm not kidding, in a two second period i saw three different status updates that consisted of baby daddy drama, ex-wife drama and what i can only guess is legal drama. Really? Must you take the Jerry Springer show viral? There are just some things folks should keep to themselves -- or their therapist.
When i read these ghettodates (ghetto-updates) it made me stop and think about what they meant about me, and i concluded that I have some ghetto friends.
Ok, my hormones are done raging over Facebook.
In exciting baby news: I have lost a pound since getting pregnant. Seriously?! I should have gotten pregnant 15 years ago!!! (i'm just kidding -- my mama would have KILLED me).
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Have you seen the previews for the new movie Death at a Funeral? Well, it's actually not a "new" movie, it's the remake of a 2007 British film that's hilarious. I'm usually not a fan of British films. Ok, i'm gonna admit it. I do have some prejudices (shock!) and one of those is British accents. I don't know what it is about them, but they bug me -- with the exception of Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsay, but that's just because i have old man crushes on the.
Anywhoo, Death at a Funeral is really funny and i'm excited to see the remake because it's the black version. Black version? Yeah, you know, that's when a director takes a movie and remakes it with a black cast and black comedy. Not the kind of black comedy that's taboo satire, but the black comedy that, as James describes, includes an "old black lady with a big ol booty saying crazy stuff."
James and i have decided that we are going to start a production company where we take classic movies and make black version of them.
Here are a few of our early ideas:
- Mary Poppins: It will be called Shanaynay Jones and will star Monique and that one little bad kid from Role Models. Instead of a spoon full of sugar, it will be a spoon full of red drink makes the medicine go down. And the dance routines will all be crunking and Usher will have Dick Van Dyke's role.
- Gone with the Wind: It will be called Damn It's Windy and will be the tale of a loud bossy lady who owns a salon who is having a turbulent relationship with her baby daddy.
- Birds: It will be called Chicken Wangs and will about a group of birds that tries to attack a family at a barbecue, only to find they are the ones being hunted.
Monday, April 5, 2010
I did something i'm kind of embarrassed to admit: I bought the Justin Bieber CD. In my defense it was only $8 at Wally World. I couldn't pass that deal up.
I'm so embarrassed that my 28 year-old self is in love with a 15 year-old kid from Canada who sounds like Mickey Mouse. Judge me not. If Justin is good enough for Ludacris, he's good enough for me.
Like i've said before, i'm not a CD buyer. I really really have to like a song to buy the CD (one day i'll get hip enough to get one of those gadgets where i can download my music too -- i'll work on that after i quit using a VCR to tape my stories). Justin is not the only inappropriate crush i've had over the years.
Here are some other crushes that i've had that you may find surprising:
- Kidd Rock: yeah, he looks like he might smell and be sticky if you touched him. But there's just something about him that i like.
- The blue Avatar guy: i think the actor is way hotter when he's all blue with a tail. Am i the only one who fanned myself during the Avatar love scene? (i know i'm not).
- Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory: knowledge is sexy, and ironically some of James' co-workers call him Sheldon.
- K-Fed: Yeah, i said it. I think he's cute. And other people would admit it too if he wasn't, well, K-Fed.
- Anderson Cooper: He's the hottest journalist in the world. Sadly i hear that i'm not his type -- figures!
Friday, April 2, 2010
TGIF. Folks have been looking for my blog, so spread the word that it's now here.
- So, yesterday i saw a man relieving himself -- and it wasn't my husband. I'm embarrassed to tell this story, but it must be told: I went to Hideaway Pizza to meet my girl Kerra for lunch. While i was waiting on her, i went to the bathroom. The restrooms at this particular Hideaway are confusing. You walk through one door labeled "restrooms" and then you go to the gender appropriate restroom. That was not hard. But when i came out of the bathroom, i got confused as to which door was the way to the lobby. I chose the door i thought was correct, but instead came face to face with a guy peeing. At first i was confused: "why is this guy peeing in the lobby?" And then i realized that I had went through the wrong door and was standing in the men's bathroom. Instead of rushing out quickly, my manners kicked in and I apologized a thousand times.
- The Hideaway fun did not stop there. After telling Kerra my story, she spotted a guy wearing a size smedium (not a small, but not a medium) T-shirt that said "I love my girlfriend." He was also wearing the tightest pair of stonewashed jean shorts. Kerra and i looked at each other:
Kerra: How much you wanna bet the guy's shirt is lying. I doubt he loves his girlfriend.
ReRe: Oh, he loves someone, but it's not a girl.
- I recently was almost run over by a Prius. Those little tree-hugging cars are so quiet! We need to use those over in Iraq and Afghanistan -- the enemy wouldn't even know we were coming.
- What am i jamming this week? It's another oldie but goodie. MC Hammer's 2 Legit 2 Quit. I was in 3rd Grade when this came out and i had to correct my mom when i heard her singing: "Do the jerk, do the jerk and twist."