Wednesday, March 12, 2014

The bearded lady

River: you have a beard!
Me: um, no i don't.
River: why not?
Me: because i'm a lady. ladies don't have beards.
River: why not?
Me: because God didn't give me a beard.
River: Daddy has a beard.
Me: yes. he has patchy hair he calls a beard.
River: Why does he call it a beard?
Me: because he's delusional.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

My son, the super hero!

My 3.5 year-old River has become obsessed with superheroes. And I must say I'm happy! Not because i'm a fanatic. but because the 2.5 year obsession with Thomas the Train was making me stabby. I wouldn't wish that "useful" engine on my worst enemy.

So in October I made a strategic plan to slowing push that engine into a deep deep tunnel far away: we did a spider man birthday party! for months I talked up Spiderman and how super cool he is. We had a blast at the party. And then daddy discovered old school spiderman episodes on Netflix (umm, the soundtrack for that show is super 70s adult movies -- if you know what i mean!)

So River is in super hero heaven.  Lately he's been calling himself "Super River." He's dubbed me Super Mommy and he's dubbed little brother "Bad Boo Boo." Apparently little brother is the villain.

Today we took our pretend play to the next level by designing costumes and listing our super powers.
I thought it would be fun to pass the time -- it's icy out. I thought River would enjoy it, but honestly i think enjoyed it more!

the best part was when Riv listed his powers to me. my favorite was "I can lift really heavy dog cages!" And i can vouch for him. He can. And he's told daily to stop lifting the dog cage!

i also liked when he scolded me for drawing a cape on Super River: "Why did you put that cape on me? I fly in a rocket! my rocket has fire."

I also realized Riv doesn't quite understand snark. He didn't understand when i told him my super powers consisted of stopping tantrums and cooking with little brother holding on to my leg!

This was a blast!


Monday, March 3, 2014

Wives before Bros, yo!

James: there's an app called Bro App that i can get and have it send you messages at certain times.
ReRe: Bro App? Like "why you mad, bro?!"
James: yeah!
ReRe: what kind of messages?
James: like i'm thinking of you messages. i can set it up to send them to you every day at a certain time.
ReRe: so you would schedule when to tell me you are thinking of me?!
James: ......
ReRe: hmmm. well i'll find an app that will schedule nice stuff for you too -- but i'll set it for once a year!
James: ..... :(

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

This is how it started with Einstein!

I know every parent thinks their kid is a genius. But I truly believe mine is! i make sure to tell him daily, especially in situations of extraordinary brain flexes such as this one:

river: (with his eyes closed) can brother see me?
me: yes.
river: why? I have my eyes closed.
me: yeah, but he can still see you.
river: because he has his eyes open?
me: you are a genius!

Monday, February 24, 2014

What did you just call me?!

Working in a nursing home means the hubs comes home with some interesting tales of what patients have said to him that day. His stories are often colorful when said patients don't realize he's married to a black lady. No peeps, those pics of brown kids on his desk aren't half Indian!

So the other day I teased hubs a bit when he used his aging patients as an excuse...

James: I think working with elderly folks has made my grammar worse?
ReRe: huh?
James: yeah, they always say words that aren't words any more or that aren't correct.
ReRe: umm, no. you've always had terrible grammar!
James: what?! what do I say wrong.
ReRe: you use "seen" the wrong way!
James: how?
ReRe: 'I seen this, I seen that.' ugh! it's bad.
James: well, I blame the people i work with.
ReRe: is that why you've been calling me colored lately?
James: WHAT?! i don't call you colored!

i love to keep him on his toes!

Friday, February 21, 2014

out of hiding!

man oh man! it's been nearly a year since i posted. i admit, i was scared of turning this into a "mommy blog." in my mind i'm a big deal with tons of fans, and i was so worried that my "fans" -- my Re-natics! -- would roll their eyes at all the aaron and river posts. i mean, come on, how many kid posts can one person handle. of course i tell myself that my kids are so darn cute and funny that no one could get tired of them....
but then i find me locking myself in the bathroom and pretending i'm having tummy issues when it's really because i need a break from those cute kids! and then i realize, if i need  a break, the web may too.

but then i said...

nah!

i'm a mommy. i have a blog. i may post about my kids. this is the life. but don't worry. i will still bring the goods about my favorite skinny meatless husband. my crazy lil bro. and i may even throw in some more crazy cousin keisha! (she is still crazy!).

how often will i post? ummm, i won't make any promises. i'm like a toddler and naps. some days i'll post. and some days i'll jump on the bed and scream "i'm spiderman and you are the bad guy. i want some chocolate. why is the grass not blue." that's life yo!

it feels good to be "back!"

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Bring it on down to Pottyville!

It's been a crazy 3 days in the Ramblings house thanks to something called potty training. I have no words to describe the process of potty training my kid. all i have to say is that all the attitude, sass and humor that he got from his mama definitely comes out when he replies to the question: do you have to go potty?

i've been reading up on potty training for 100 years to prepare for this journey. ok, not really 100 years -- but i'd suggest folks do that! i've found great tips online and from friends. some worked for us and some didn't. i've had to tweak and find our groove.

And part of that GROOVE has been throwing out the silly potty songs some parents like to sing, and make up our own! I admit that River is not quite a fan of our homemade songs, but he'll have to deal because they are too good.

Especially our favorite, which James wrote this morning when he was channeling his inner Justin Timberlake.
it goes a bit like this: As long as I got my potty seat, i can sit down all night and pee -- let me show you a poop thing, let me show you a poop thing!

I thought it was catchy. River told us "stop singing. mama sing too much."

I told him he can have an opinion on my signing when he no longer uses diapers!