Friday, May 21, 2010

Potluck Friday

Happy Friday!

  1. If i could go back in time, i'd give Leonardo DiCaprio an Oscar for his role in What's Eating Gilbert Grape? I watched that movie this morning and it just reminded me of how dang good Leo was in the role. I'm sure you are wondering how it's not even 9 a.m. and i've had time to watch a movie. Well, these days i don't sleep well (thanks Pumpkin Seed) so i watch random movies, cartoons, the Joy Behar show (that woman is crazy and her accent is crazier) and lots of male enhancement commercials. I don't know why i can't sleep. I'm not uncomfortable (yet) but i just seem to not be able to sleep past 3 .m. Oh well, i guess my body is preparing me for October.
  2. Is it rude that when i can't sleep i sometimes -- by sometimes i mean often -- wake up James and ask him questions like: "What are you dreaming about?" "What are you doing?" "When are you gonna wake up? and "Do you want to get up and play?" He thinks i'm a lunatic, but i think i'm doing him a favor by trying to prepare him for the role of fatherhood. I told him to pretend like i'm a crying baby.
  3. I am convinced that Kelly from the Real Housewives of New York City is the CRAZIEST person in the WORLD. Yes, i said world. It pains me to watch her. Bravo! would never put a mentally ill person on the show and let her fight with the other women, so...oh wait, yes they would: KELLY!
  4. James and I have both been called for jury duty on the same day. At least i won't be sitting up there alone, but jury duty sounds like no fun -- unless Pauly Shore is gonna be there.
  5. What am i jamming this week? "OMG" by Mr. Usher Raymond. Me loves this song, it has Black Eyed Peas feel to it (probably because it features Will.I.Am):

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Sometimes Jack should stay in the box

What do Okies love more than guns and bibles? Apparently It's Jack in the Box. A Jack in the Box recently opened in Norman, right down the street from my house. It's been chaos for nearly 2 weeks. The drive-thru is regularly wrapped around the building -- sometimes spilling into traffic. It got so bad the other day that Jack had a cop directing drive-thru traffic.

The parking lot is jammed full -- you'd think Michael Jackson had come back from the dead.

So yesterday i decided to see what all the fuss was about. My mama loved her some Jack in the Box. Anytime i took trip to Texas she'd always make my roomies and me bring her back 10 tacos. She'd freeze them and eat them at her convenience. I never tried one of the tacos because something just didn't feel right about buying some food, driving it 3 hours to my house, freezing it and then eating it. But that's just me.

Anywhoo. When i pulled into Jack, it was busy, but nothing compared to what it's been. I used this nifty little kiosk thing to order my food. Basically i did all the work but cook my food. I decided to get a couple of things to try -- don't judge, i'm pregnant.

I was amazed that the tacos were 2 for 99 cents. So i got two tacos, some jalapeno cheddar bites and some cheesy-bacon wedges. I waited for a good 15 minutes for my food -- i did meet a nice lady in line who told me about a good day care.

When they finally called #990 i nearly started drooling just thinking about how good my food was gonna be as i ate and watched some One Life to Live.

I drove home -- too fast i'm sure.

The first thing i sank my teeth in to was a taco. At first i was a little disturbed when i saw how flat and greasy it looked. But i took a bite anyway. I should have went with my first instinct.

YUCK. Seriously?

I took two more bites, thinking that maybe it would get better. It didn't. Opted to leave the 2nd taco uneaten.

My next move was a jalapeno popper. The first one was just filled with cheese -- no jalapeno. The next 3 were OK -- but no Sonic Ched 'R' Pepper.

I thought i'd saved the best for last. How can you mess up potato wedges with cheese and bacon bits and sour cream? I don't know how -- but clearly Jack does. They were no good. Kind of cold, kind of mushy. No seasonings and topped with fake bacon bits.

I know Jack does burgers, and i'm praying he does them better than the tacos and other crap i tried.

For you Jack lovers, please PLEASE tell me the appeal.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I would not believe this if i didn't see it with my own eyes

For the past several weeks James and I have been trading cars on the days he has to drive a good distance -- so he doesn't put too many miles on his new baby.

This week i got my car back. Twice it acted like it didn't want to start. I thought i was going to be stuck in the boonies (also known as the land with no black people) but luckily it started.

I called James to inform him of my car woes. His response: Yeah, that probably has something to do with all the times i let the battery die.

Apparently James likes to drive with the lights on during the day and forget to turn them off when he reaches his destination.

So Monday night James drove up to one of the auto stores to have the battery tested, and sure enough my bat was almost gone. Easy $100 fix.

About 3 hours after James had returned home from the auto store, Lil Bro dropped in for some "food" (also known as blended up soup). When he walked in the door he informed that the lights were on on my car.

Yes ladies and gents. My loving husband ruined my battery, drove my car up to get a new battery, drove home -- AND LEFT THE LIGHTS ON.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Things you can't do when your jaw is wired shut

I can't imagine being on a liquid diet for 3 weeks. Watching Lil Bro eat is painful -- and kind of icky. But i've come to realize that the liquid diet is no where near the hardest thing he has to deal with. Having his jaw wired shut has interfered with a lot of things we all take for granted:

  • Yawning. Lil Bro can't yawn! He said that he sometimes feels a yawn coming on and forgets his mouth won't open "...and it just feels like i'm stretching out my brain." (I told him that could be a good thing -- ain't nothing wrong with a little brain stretching).
  • Lick his lips. His tongue has gotta be feeling claustrophobic these days. The other days his licks were so chapped that i was tempted to have one of the dogs lick them for him. But i opted to just buy him some chapstick. (Lil Bro did gross me out when he said his little girlfriend licked them sometimes. Ick. I just threw up in my mouth).
  • Sucking a straw. Yeah, he can suck through a straw, but if the stuff he is slurping is not pure liquid it just gets stuck in his wires.
  • Spit. If Lil Bro has something really worked up in his throat he can't get it out. Before we left the hospital we were warned about 1,000 times about making sure he has his wire cutters on him at all times in case he feels sick and needs know. What a terrible way to go.
  • Sneeze. Maybe this is just the bad manners in me, but i can't imagine sneezing with my mouth closed. Yes, i cover my mouth, but it's totally wide open behind my hand.
  • Whistle. Kind of hard to whistle when your teeth are clenched together like a poor man's Mike Jones.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Women are from Venus, Men are from a dirtier planet

It's no secret that men and women are different. We interpret lots of things differently and apparently house hold chores are no exceptions.

To me, doing the dishes consists of: unloading and loading the dishwasher. and making sure the counters are clear of junk. and take out the trash if needed.

To James, doing the dishes: is...doing the dishes. food can be crusted to the stove, counters and anywhere else. but that does not matter. clearing crust off surfaces and taking out the trash is "cleaning the kitchen" and therefore falls outside the scope of "doing the dishes."

To me, washing the dogs consists of: washing the DOGS. both dogs.

To James, washing the dogs consists of: washing the dog that smells the most doggy and letting the other one stank for another week or so.

To me, taking out the trash means you put a new trash bag in the can.

To James, taking out the trash means you take out the trash and then put other trash on the counter because there no liner in the can now.

I know i'm not the only loving wife who has a list like this. So i though i'd be kind and just give some advice to the men out there:

  • Cleaning the bathroom is more than wiping down the counter and mirror. The toilet and bathtub are actually the main components that need to be cleaned.

  • Dirty dishes should be stacked IN the sink, not ON the sink.

  • Dirty dishes are best rinsed and stacked in the dishwasher. When it's full, you can just start! (It makes no sense to load a dishwasher if you aren't gonna start it).

  • It's easier to find clothes and undies when they are in your closet or drawer than when they are in 5 different laundry baskets -- so don't be afraid to fold some clothes!

  • If you smell something funny when you walk in the house, you find the smell. You DON'T lay on the couch until it magically disappears. (and it does not disappear, you just get used to it).

Friday, May 14, 2010

Potluck Friday

Oh What a way to start a day....

  1. So this morning i opted to go into work crazy early so i could get some stuff done and get off earlier this afternoon. Well, apparently going into work before 8 a.m. requires a code. Do i have a code? Nope. So this means that by 7:05 a.m. the alarm system is going off like crazy and i'm calling all of my co-workers in my cell to see what i'm supposed to do. Note to self: sleep in. work can wait!
  2. I'm not even going to mention the nappiness of my hair -- my favorite red head (Kasie) said that every 6 weeks i say my hair is nappier than it's ever been -- so i'm going to just say that i'm getting my hair did tonight and Ms. CoCo is gonna give me a talking to. But i'm gonna blame it's current nappiness on Pumpkin Seed, who is truly sucking away my beauty from the inside out. I have dry hair, dandruff, zits and gas. Pregnancy is so freaking hot.
  3. Lil Bro is recovering so nicely. You've never seen an 18 year-old get so much joy from a chocolate Ensure drink. It's kind of sad, and entertaining. We are out of straws, so he's been "eating" his pureed meals with a big syringe. He has mastered talking through his teeth.
  4. What am i jamming this week? Well, i'm not really jamming this, but everyone else in Oklahoma and across the nation seems to be loving it, so i thought i'd give a shout out to this kid from Okiehoma.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Out of the mouth of Re

I'm pretty sure if James and I actually had a reality tv show (as we often pretend we do) it would have been canceled after this conversation:

James: Are you gonna teach our kid how to dance?
ReRe: TEACH?! Ummm, no. Our kid is already gonna know how to dance. It will been in the blood!
James: Oh, why? Cus it's half black?
ReRe: Um, yeah!
James: Well, it's still half white.
ReRe: So, it's gonna know how to dance. Me teaching our kids how to dance is like an Asian family teaching their kids math -- it's not necessary.
James: Did you just say that?
ReRe: I sure did!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Thank heaven for little girls...

First let me say that we are safe. Tornadoes hit pretty close to us, but they missed our area by a several miles.

So how did i spend my night of storms? Huddled in my bathroom? In my closet with a radio? Holding on to a light post outside? None of the above. I was at the hospital with Lil Bro. For a couple of hours, Lil Bro, his girlfriend (who i was kind to -- even though it's hard) and I were huddled in a dark hallway on the 4th floor of Norman Regional Hospital. Lil Bro was the youngest patient on that floor by 70 years and the only one who was not in a hospital bed (he was in a gown, hooked to an IV).

Why was Lil Bro in the hospital you ask? Well, lets just say that when you don't know how to walk away from a fight, you risk the chance of getting your jaw broken in to places. Yes, Lil Bro and a former-friend decided to play Fight Club on Saturday and for two days Lil Bro was walking around with a broken jaw.

He is still awaiting surgery (it was supposed to happen yesterday, but the storms and injured folks pushed him and his jaw to the back of the line). Lil Bro's incident is just another reason why i'm beginning to hope that Pumpkin Seed is a girl. Boys are rough. My mama, bless her soul, raised two of them. And i can honestly say they had WAY more bumps and boo-boos than i ever did.

Here are a few things i WON'T be dealing with if I have a girl (*note: all of these actually happened to Middle Bro, Lil Bro or both):

  • Getting a call from school because tiny privates were accidentally zipped up.
  • Getting bit by a mysterious bug. Beating it to death -- so badly that to this day the type of bug has never been identified.
  • Breaking a toe just months after learning to walk -- and then taking only 5 minutes to learn how to hobble around in a tiny dinosaur cast.
  • Setting a couch on fire.
  • Setting a bunk bed on fire.
  • Setting your big sister's room on fire.
  • Putting the pomeranian in the dryer.
  • Feeding the fish dryer lint
  • nearly poking an eye out while trying to cut off your eyelashes (lashes your sister would kill for).
  • Taking a pair of clippers to your own 3 year-old head. cutting so far down that the hair still does not completely grow there.
  • Trying to jump over your little brother with your bike, but landing on him instead (leaving Lil Bro with a tire-track scar across his belly).
  • Getting in trouble for throwing black cats at your 2nd grade teacher.
  • Eating a spider -- another fun trip to the ER
  • Piercing your ear with a vice grip and a needle

I'm sure there are tons more things these boys did over the years, but i've either forgot them or blocked them out (and this list does not even include the teen years).

Monday, May 10, 2010

Ode to CoverGirl

I have a bone to pick with CoverGirl. For about a month i've been searching for the blush that i've grown fond of over the years. I've looked high (Target) and low (Wally World) and it's no where to be found. Apparently CoverGirl has discontinued my blush -- the only blush they made for folks of the dark chocolate persuasion.

Now, before you start telling me how Queen Latifah and Rianna wear CoverGirl so there must be a shade out there for me, i must explain that those two lovely ladies are what my grandma would call "of the yellow bone persuasion." Ain't nothing wrong with being yellow -- my kids will be yellow and clearly my daughter will have no problem finding blush. But this is about me.

I've tried finding another blush in another brand but every thing is too rosy and either makes me look like i'm doing a play or like i have powdered donut dust on my cheeks. I may have to break down and order some Avon or see if Mary Kay finally started making makeup for chocolate people. I went to my first and only Mary Kay party about 10 years ago and realized that Miss Mary didn't realize folks came shades other than pale. But it's been a decade so I might give her another shot.

Now, listen up CoverGirl. You are already on my crap-list so i suggest you make sure you continue producing the eye shadows and mascara i like or i might have to call Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Potluck Friday

Yay! It's Friday. TGIfreakingF!

  1. James and i have been taking turns driving his new ride so he doesn't put too many miles on it when he goes to treat patients out of town. Today he's working closer to home, so he got to drive his new baby to work, and i got reunite with baby. Half way to work i look down to see that i'm WAYYY past 'E.' Really? Really? I didn't have time to stop and get gas, so now i'm praying that i have enough to make it home today. If i don't, you can bet Mr. James is never gonna hear the end of it.
  2. Lil Bro is like a ghost in the night. He stops in every few weeks to go through my fridge, play on the internet and mow the yard (for money of course). He didn't even realize James and I were in Cancun for a week -- he missed his chance of having a wild party at my house. Believe it or not i miss seeing his face. I finally got to see him this week. And he got to see me -- apparently he saw way more of me than i knew existed:
    ReRe: So, do you think i'm starting to look a little pregnant, or am i just looking fatter?
    Lil Bro: Oh, you definitely look pregnant! I can see it in your thighs, they are wider. You wrists are thicker, your arms are bigger. A little in your cheeks and in the back.

    By "in the back" i'm sure he was referring to my a$$. I'm sure he would have continued with his list of what's blown up on ReRe in the last 16 weeks, but i stopped him.
    ReRe: Well, James said that i really don't look any different.
    Lil Bro: James is lying to you.

    And you know what, I believe Lil Bro!
  3. We finally watched The Blind Side. Finally, a good movie! After all the turds we've rented from the redbox lately, it was nice to get something good. I think i'm the only person in the world who didn't know the movie was based on a true story! And i love that Sandra adopted a tiny lil blind side! (yeah, i said it).
  4. Only pregnancy can give you the complexion of a teenage boy and the boobs of Dolly Parton. Seriously. I'm so freaking hot...from the neck down...and belly button up!
  5. What's ReRe jamming this week? I'm loving the song "Young Forever" by Jay-Z and Mr. Hudson.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I'm going to hell for this...but it's worth it

I know i'm going to hell for laughing at this video from A&E's Intervention (considering i work at a drug treatment center) but i can't help but giggle at this dude's cry! I've been teased for years about my Betty Rubble-esque laugh -- but my laught ain't got nothing on this dude's chuckle.

First watch the first video, the original:

Now enjoy the remix (doesn't it make you think that any minute T-Pain is gonna pop in and say something whacky?!):

Like i said, i'm going to hell.

Romance, James style

I've said a million times that James is a super husband. I know this, and apparently he knows this:

James: I'm cleaning the kitchen right now. I'm just awesome. I have no idea why someone is not throwing me a parade as we speak.

And he always knows the exact romantic thing to say:

James (looking longingly into my eyes): Your eyes are beautiful. They are the color of...poopy.

Monday, May 3, 2010

I just flew in from Mexico, and my arms are tired

I'm back!!! After a week off celebrating my 5 year anniversary, I have finally returned -- FROM CANCUN!

Words can not describe how awesome my tan is. James on the other hand is still clear :)

Our trip had lots of highs -- and some lows. I'll start with the lows:

Getting hit so hard by a wave that i threw up in the ocean. I opted to avoid the ocean after that due to fear that i was shaking my unborn child loose.
(TMI warning) Two days in need of Pepto, Mylanta or a cork. And no, i did not drink the water.
Going on a Mayan tour sans bug spray. I an now covered in mosquito bites from the waste down.
James sneaking up behind me in the pool, grabbing me around my belly and i uncontrollably peed. Apparenly at 4 months pregnant my bladder is never empty.
Peeing in the ocean, only to realize that i was not in the ocean, but on the shore. So yes, my grown self peeing on the shore.
The highs:
Watching my hubby drink for the two of us. Mexico brings out the drinker in James, and at 147 pounds, it does not take much to get teh party started with him!
Our view from our hotel room. It was breathtaking.
The Mexican Michael Jackson impersonator who performed one night at the hotel. I still giggle when i think of him.
The food. I had a steak as big as my head -- twice! Soooooo good
No alarm clocks or cell phones.
Some fun quotes from the trip:
(while packing)
ReRe: Why do you only have two pairs of underwear packed?
James: I figured i'd be in my swimming trunks most of the time and didn't really need underwear.
(while swimming)
James: I feel like i'm going to throw up in the pool..
ReRe: oh baby, are you that drunk?
James: No, i just think it would be kind of fun.
(don't worry, he didn't throw up in the pool!)

Here's a few pics: