Wednesday, March 12, 2014

The bearded lady

River: you have a beard!
Me: um, no i don't.
River: why not?
Me: because i'm a lady. ladies don't have beards.
River: why not?
Me: because God didn't give me a beard.
River: Daddy has a beard.
Me: yes. he has patchy hair he calls a beard.
River: Why does he call it a beard?
Me: because he's delusional.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

My son, the super hero!

My 3.5 year-old River has become obsessed with superheroes. And I must say I'm happy! Not because i'm a fanatic. but because the 2.5 year obsession with Thomas the Train was making me stabby. I wouldn't wish that "useful" engine on my worst enemy.

So in October I made a strategic plan to slowing push that engine into a deep deep tunnel far away: we did a spider man birthday party! for months I talked up Spiderman and how super cool he is. We had a blast at the party. And then daddy discovered old school spiderman episodes on Netflix (umm, the soundtrack for that show is super 70s adult movies -- if you know what i mean!)

So River is in super hero heaven.  Lately he's been calling himself "Super River." He's dubbed me Super Mommy and he's dubbed little brother "Bad Boo Boo." Apparently little brother is the villain.

Today we took our pretend play to the next level by designing costumes and listing our super powers.
I thought it would be fun to pass the time -- it's icy out. I thought River would enjoy it, but honestly i think enjoyed it more!

the best part was when Riv listed his powers to me. my favorite was "I can lift really heavy dog cages!" And i can vouch for him. He can. And he's told daily to stop lifting the dog cage!

i also liked when he scolded me for drawing a cape on Super River: "Why did you put that cape on me? I fly in a rocket! my rocket has fire."

I also realized Riv doesn't quite understand snark. He didn't understand when i told him my super powers consisted of stopping tantrums and cooking with little brother holding on to my leg!

This was a blast!

Monday, March 3, 2014

Wives before Bros, yo!

James: there's an app called Bro App that i can get and have it send you messages at certain times.
ReRe: Bro App? Like "why you mad, bro?!"
James: yeah!
ReRe: what kind of messages?
James: like i'm thinking of you messages. i can set it up to send them to you every day at a certain time.
ReRe: so you would schedule when to tell me you are thinking of me?!
James: ......
ReRe: hmmm. well i'll find an app that will schedule nice stuff for you too -- but i'll set it for once a year!
James: ..... :(