The bearded lady

River: you have a beard!
Me: um, no i don't.
River: why not?
Me: because i'm a lady. ladies don't have beards.
River: why not?
Me: because God didn't give me a beard.
River: Daddy has a beard.
Me: yes. he has patchy hair he calls a beard.
River: Why does he call it a beard?
Me: because he's delusional.

Wives before Bros, yo!

James: there's an app called Bro App that i can get and have it send you messages at certain times.
ReRe: Bro App? Like "why you mad, bro?!"
James: yeah!
ReRe: what kind of messages?
James: like i'm thinking of you messages. i can set it up to send them to you every day at a certain time.
ReRe: so you would schedule when to tell me you are thinking of me?!
James: ......
ReRe: hmmm. well i'll find an app that will schedule nice stuff for you too -- but i'll set it for once a year!
James: ..... :(

I heard it through the crazy vine!

Here's a recap of recent of some convos heard around casa de ReRe Ramblings:

ReRe: Are you going to come move your plate from the table? This ain't the Waffle House.
James: No, this is the Awful House...BWAHAHAHAH!

James: Are you interesed in seeing that movie Rock of Ages?
ReRe: No.
James: Because it's before your time?
ReRe: No, it's because i'm black!

The makings of a black widow

I admit I'm a girlie girl and do not hesitate to yell like one if I see a creepy crawler. I married James for many reasons -- and one of those reasons is to handle creepy crawlers. I thought he knew this, but i recently learned this was a wrong assumption (you know what they say about assuming).

The other day while cleaning out the tub I saw what can only be described as the lovechild between a crab and a scorpion. (I'm literally shuttering just typing that, ick!). It was maybe an inch long, but it looked like it was packing heat, so i did what any girlie girl would do....I SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS.

ReRe: AHHHH. BABY, BABY! COME HERE, QUICK, HELP!

My night and shining armor came running in the bathroom concerned.

James: What's wrong???
ReRe: There, look, it's a bug. It has  pincher and claws, kill it! KILL IT!!! What is it?
James: Calm down. it's nothing. (he flushes it)
ReRe: What was it?
James: I don't know.
ReRe: It had pinchers? What was it?
James: I don't know. Did you seriously scream like that for a little bug. I ran in here and didn't even pause my video game and now I'm going to lose my pro status. Next time you scream like that it needs to be for something serious, like a black widow.
ReRe: You know what? I'm about to be black widow!

the crAzy Team

Ever since James was a child he's been obsessed with the  A-Team. He will randomly hum the song and sometimes when we're driving, he'll break out in A-Team talk like we are the A Team. This was the case yesterday. A plane flying over Flood Street apparently triggered his A Team bug and this conversation ensued:

James: Uh-Oh, we better go break out Murdock!
ReRe: What? What are you talking about?
James: We are the A-Team! Murdock is the crazy guy in the asylum. You are B.A., I'm Hannibal and River is Faceman because he's so cute.
ReRe: What?! I have to be Mr. T? Why, because i'm black?!
James: Well, i guess you could be Amy Allen, the reporter who'd hang with them sometimes.
ReRe: You think?!
James: And maybe i should be Murdock, the crazy guy.
ReRe: YOU THINK?!

Homeland...where the crazies are

I've recently (re)discovered Homeland. The prices aren't the best, but i like to pop in every once in awhile because it doesn't have the chaos and layer of wally that Walmart has. But even though Homeland may present itself as a more "upper-crust" grocery option, its cashiers are hot mess! a few weeks ago a teen cashier could barely contain himself when he told me my total was $4.20 (420, bwahahaha?!).

But my encounter yesterday was even stranger.

Me: How are you today?
Cashier lady: I'm treated the way i should be. Not given the respect i deserve. But i haven't been arrested!
Me: That's sad...and good. Is this the time where i give you my discount card to swipe?
Cashier (a little too excited): Let's do it! you're here, i'm here! Let's do this while we are both here!
Me: Ok...
Cashier (over the top excited): look! you save 20 cents, girl! you are raking it in hand over foot!
Me: Ok.

I took my overprices salmon and baked Cheetos and ran to my car as fast as i could. at least in wally world i expect the crazy!

But i am glad that Homeland employs folks on work release!

Deviled Eggs

I love when the hubby compliments my cooking. But i think this past Saturday he gave me a "compliment" that i just didn't know how to take.

Saturdays are our mornings for big breakfasts. So as we settled down to scrambled eggs, pancakes and hashbrowns, James said:

When we get to heaven, i hope you have to cook breakfast every day!

I guess he doesn't realize that if I have to cook breakfast every day, my guess is that i didn't make it to heaven!

Please turn to Apps 3:16

Our new family Christmas tradition (new as in this year) is to read the Nativity Story before we open our gifts. We thought it would be a good way to further the message to our offspring that Christmas is not about 5,609 presents under the tree...or even cookies, but the birth of our savior.

So anywhoo, it's time to bust out the story, and this is the conversation that ensued -- further proof that we are too reliant on technology:

ReRe: Daddy, you wanna look up the Nativity story so we can read it and then we'll do gifts.
James: Yeah, but i'll have to unplug my phone first (his phone was playing Christmas Pandora)
ReRe: Why do you need your phone?
James: So I can pull up the Bible app.
ReRe: Just get a regular Bible.
James: We have those? Like a hard copy, printed out one?
ReRe: Umm....???? YEAH! Like 3 or 4 of them.

I tell them where they are ....where we've kept them the last 7 years of marriage.

James (carrying the Bible in his hand): this is what we'll use if our app ever goes down and we need to upload a new copy!

Geesh!

Potluck Friday

Happy Potluck Friday and Christmas Eve Eve!

1. This is an exciting day! I will have 6 extra feet running around my kitchen today. My 3 nieces are coming to spend the night and we are going to be baking up a storm. Part of me thinks i'm crazy, but the other part is so freaking excited (ask me at 10 p.m. which part i should have listened too!) Riv is so excited. Right now he's showing his excitement by screaming on the kitchen floor. Oh wait, that's not excitement. He's ticked because i wouldn't let him play with steak knife he spotted on the cabinet. Mean mommy.
   
2. Christmas has br0ught on some hilarious conversations with my hubby. While watching "Mike and Molly" this week (love that show! Big girls represent!) We were laughing at Mike rushing around trying to find a gift for Molly, who was dropping tons of hints...that he didn't pick up on. This is soooo James. After 8 years, he still has no clue what to get me for birthdays or Christmas, whereas i listen to him gab all year and have plenty of ideas when occasions come upon us. This year we decided to do a couple's gift -- a new laptop. So that saved James hunting for a gift for me:
   ReRe: Are you glad we did a couple's gift so you don't have to be like Mike
   James: Oh yeah.
   ReRe: Why does picking a gift for me make you so stressed.
   James: Because it's a lot of pressure. I want you to know that i've been listening to you all year and know exactly what you want or need......but i don't listen to you.
   
   At least he's honest!
   
3. Another Christmas gem of a conversation happened last night when i was guilting him about not getting around to putting lights on our house 2 years in a row (last year we had a 2 month old so i gave him an out, but there's no excuse for this year!). So as we pull out of our driveway, i point to the neighbors house across the street and start the guilting:
   ReRe: See, they have lights on their house. Sure is pretty. I wish someone would put lights on my house.
   James: Yeah, they have lights on their house. But that's not what Christmas is about. It's not about giant blow up reindeer with lights. Nope. They may have lights on their house...but we have lights in our heart! That's what it's about.
   ReRe: Did you seriously just say "lights in our hearts"?!
   James: Yep. Lights in our hearts.
   
   So we spent the rest of the evening driving by houses that had huge light displays and saying "Their hearts are dim inside. No lights in their hearts!" hahahhaa
   
4. Epic fail of the week goes to the "great" governor of Oklahoma, Mary Fallin. Clearly Mary has never had a sick newborn, or uncomplicated birth. That's the only reason i can think of that would explain why she thinks signing a bill that allows an insurance company to deny coverage to a newborn. Thank goodness this wasn't in effect when I had River, who spent a week in NICU. I've never been more grateful for insurance or realized the importance of it. We are still paying off our portion of the NICU bill (counting down the days until May 15th ...my last payment), i can't imagine if we would have been responsible for the whole enchilada. Fail Mary Fallin. this is reason #4,839 why Jari Askins should have won. Boo!
   
5. What's ReRe jamming this week? "Good Feeling" by Flo Rida
   
   

I'm BAAAACCCKKK!

Remember that girl with the funny blog? What happened to her? Well, i heard she had a crappy desktop computer that she'd have to get up uber early in the mornings to warm up and then pray that an hour later it would be working so she could blast out some funny. Sometimes it would be ready, and sometimes it wouldn't' :(

and then one early November morning she'd crafted a hilarious Potluck Friday and the computer froze. She lost her mind, yelling and screaming and maybe saying some potty words. She told her husband (who has a direct connection to Santa) that she needed a laptop and she would NOT be rambling until Santa brought her one.

Sooo, Santa recently made an early visit and dropped off a shiny HP and some WiFi and now that funny girl is back!

Here are some snippits of hilarity that have taken place in casa de Ramblings the last month:

• I was painting my toe nails last weekend and River was so intrigued by it. I'd stroke some paint on, and he'd rub it off with his finger. He just couldn't stay away from me. So me, being the open-minded mama i am, decided to paint his toe nails. So i sat him down and painted his first toe. He flipped out and was not a fan, so i wiped it off. "Well, he hates toe nail polish...he just passed the gay test," i told daddy. Daddy's quick response:" Wow, and mama just passed the 'I'm Sally Kern test.'" SLAM!
  
• My phone charger recently died, so i headed to the T-Mobile store for a new one. I searched high and low on the wall and displays, but could not find one for my phone. So i went and asked a worker.
  Me: I can't find a charger for my phone.
  Him: What kind is it?
  Me: I have a MyTouch (I pull it out)
  Him: Ugh....you have the OLD Mytouch.
  Me: (i'm confused. i got my phone when it came out, less than two years ago. it's not my fault technology changes faster than Kim Kardashian's husbands)
  
  He then digs through what i'm sure is an electronics trash can and hands me an unpackaged old blackberry charger that he said will work and i can have for free because i'm the only loser in the world still using the MyTouch that came out in 2010. He acted like i drove up in a Gremlin and wanted a new carburetor. Whatevs! my phone is fully charged and i didn't spend a dime!
  
• Last night i watched the most disturbing show: The Virgin Diaries. Apparently TLC has put their obsession with little people and folks with too many dang kids on hold to showcase 35 year old virgins. Don't get me wrong. Nothing wrong with being a 35 year-old virgin, but is it necessary to go on TV and let every body know our business?! Some highlights from the show was the chick who was a "reclaimed virgin." She said she'd slept with her past 7 boyfriends, but was now a reclaimed virgin. Umm, no, you are just a lady who has had a rough patch on the dating scene. I was also entertained by the dude who invited his mom over to tell her he was a virgin. Ummm, I never want to have that kind of openness with River...and that mother had the same feeling. But the BEST part of the show was the couple who was saving their first kiss for their wedding...again, that's your business, but a camera crew is not necessary. Stranger than the couple, were their friends and family who were just too interested in their first kiss and wedding night. But nothing, and i mean NOTHING can top their first kiss (i just wanna know why they thought this was how normal kissing is done. haven't they ever watched a movie, or gathered around their kissing friends in middle school to gawk. either one of those experiences should have told them that what they are doing in front of God, and their loved ones is NOT kissing):
  

No meat? that just ain't right, suga!

I am convinced that black folks -- especially older black folks -- don't understand the concept of vegetarianism (i'm sure there are plenty of other folks who don't, but this is my blog, i'm black, so i'm talking about my peeps).

I of course an exception to this observation because being married to a skinny, white vegetarian for the last 6.5 years has opened my eyes. But again...i am an exception.

So how did i draw this conclusion that brothas and sistas don't understand the concept of not eating meat?

Well, it didn't just happened over night; i've observed many evidential incidences:

1. My mama used to always make James chicken, or things with chicken broth because "i know he doesn't eat meat." apparently to my mama, meat was only beef and pork.
   
   
2. My family reunion came to a silent halt in 2006 when one of my aunties loudly said "He can't eat the greens cus they have ham hocks in 'em?! What does he put in his greens then." This was a double whammy: i had to tell her that James doesn't eat greens.
   
   
3. My baby bro always refers to ground turkey (my preference), as "fake meat" and he thinks i make it because James is a vegetarian. He is his mama's child.
   

I got more evidence recently when i called my Southern daddy to ask him how to make gumbo with the fresh okra i recently acquired. Now, daddy knows James is a vegetarian. We recently spent a week in Virginia with him where he regularly offered James crab legs and ribs, and then caught himself. But i guess daddy didn't fully realize what a vegetarian is...or maybe he didn't think James was committed. That's the only think i can gather from this conversation:

Me: Hi daddy! i got some fresh okra and i want to make some gumbo, but don't know how.
Daddy: Hey sweet heart. It's easy! First you boil you down a chicken. get it tender and use that broth as your base.
Me: Well, i'm not going to use any meat because i want James to eat it.
Daddy ( i can tell he's confused): Oh, this is going to be hard then. Ok. instead of boiling some chicken, just get some chicken broth. Cook that up with some onions..
Me: Ok, i'll get some vegetable broth.
Daddy: Why not chicken?
Me: Because I want James to eat it too.
Daddy: He can't even it chicken broth?
Me: No, because it's still meat...just meat juice.
Daddy: Ok, well, i guess you can use the other broth...but i don't know how it will taste. Ok. So then throw in some onions and some sausage in your broth.
Me: Ok, i'll definitely throw in the onions. No sausage though. What other veggies do you put in besides the onions and okra?
Daddy: No sausage in gumbo?
Me: No daddy, sausage is meat.
Daddy: So yo aren't going to put in any shrimps probably?
Me: No, no shrimp, chicken, sausage or any other kind of meat.
Daddy: Well, i don't know how to tell you to make gumbo then.

I saw that this could go on and on, so i told him to start from the top -- sausage, chicken broth and all -- and i would edit the recipe myself.

The gumbo was Ok....it needed some meat!

Hair on my back, foot in my mouth

Whenever James or I do something for the River Monster (bathe him, feed him, care for him), we remind him that he better remember all of that when he's looking at nursing homes for us. We figure we are taking great care of him, so he should repay the favor. Makes sense, right?!

Well, apparently my lovely husband has really been thinking about his days in Shady Meadows -- or wherever River puts us up -- because we had this conversation earlier this week:

James: Do i have hair on my back?
ReRe: No.
James: Good. When I'm old, i hope River puts me in a nursing home that regularly shaves my body hair. I don't want to be one of those old dudes covered in hair. I want to look good, so i can have my pick of the ladies and not get stuck with the chick who just poops on herself.
ReRe: Ummm? Where am I? Won't i be in the nursing home with you? Why would you need your pick of the ladies if I'm there?
James: Yeah, yeah. You'll be there. But you'll have dementia. So....
ReRe: So, it's ok to date then? Ok. I gotcha. Thanks for the insight Pat Robertson!

So note to Riv: daddy wants to be in a home that regularly shaves his body hair.
Second not to Riv: daddy probably won't live long enough to see said nursing home, and mama may be in jail!

Reason #4,590 why i shouldn't take River to Wal-Mart

I've told you guys how Riv attracts the crazies at Wal-Mart (remember crazy tomato lady?). Apparently this is not just a fluke, he really does get mommy into the craziest conversation.

The most recent event occurred last Friday. I was looking through the giant $5 DVD bin. Riv was in the basket, but close enough to grab DVD and throw them in our cart. He was having a blast and of course as adorable as can be. An older gentlemen -- old enough that he a Korean War Vet hat on --came up and started looking through the bin. He told me how cute Riv was, and then this conversation took place:

Vet: (pointing at Riv) I wish i had about 5 or 6 of them living with me.
ReRe: I just smiled and nodded (trying not to be a little freaked by his comment -- my job makes me leery of dudes who want 5 or 6 boys living with them).
Vet: I live alone and would love 5 or 6 of him at my house. I love kids.
ReRe: Little ones are lots of fun (oh great! now anyone listening to our convo thinks we are both creepo deepos)
Vet: My great-grandkids are my life. They are who i live for.
ReRe (feeling less freaked): That's sweet. Parenthood is amazing, but i hear being a grandparent is more so.
Vet: I love kids. and let me tell you, if i was in here and saw someone hitting or even yelling at someone his age or even older I would beat the Sh!t out of them. I would beat their faces in.
ReRe (freaked out again. I mean, i totally get what he's saying, and feel the same way, but wow, where did this convo just turn): Yeah....it's sad when folks mistreat children.
Vet: I'd beat the tar out of them. Beat their faces in. I'm 80, but i can take a 20 year-old. I did combat training in the war. I can take a 20 year-old like it's nothing.
ReRe: Awesome....have a good day!

I think hurried away to another section, only to have to return back to the DVD bin to put back the 15 copies of Weekend at Bernie's that Riv had put in our cart. Yes, Vet was still there. No, i didn't stop and talk.

Just give me a dang drank!

You know what i CAN'T stand at a restaurant or food joint?
When they don't have the drink options clearly listed somewhere and so you ask "What do you have to drink." And the waiter/waitress replies "We have Coke products."

Ummm, that's means NOTHING to me! I haven't worked in fast food in 13 years, and even then i couldn't have named any other Coke product other than COKE. The only thing i know about "Coke Products" is that Dr. Pepper is not a Coke Product. And the only reason i know this because OU only had Mr. Pibb -- the poor man's Dr. Pepper. (RC is the poor man's Coke -- i, like most black folks, prefer RC Cola!).

Anywhoo.

Maybe i'm just ignorant and the only person in the world who doesn't have all the Coke products memorized. But is it seriously too hard to just freaking list the drink options.

Yesterday i had a stare down with the lady in the Subway Drive Thru. All of the drive thru window they have listed what my chip options are, my dressing options, cheese, dressings, veggies, etc. But no where did they have listed the drink options.

Samich Chick: What do you want to drink?
ReRe: What do you have?
Samich Chick: We have Coke products.
ReRe: Ok. What are they.

She then goes over to the drink spout -- cus SHE doesn't even have them memorized -- and reads them off to me.

ReRe: I'll take a Fruit Punch.
Samich Chick: We are out of that.

Diggity Dang!

You say tomato, i say you crazy

If i didn't know me, i'd swear that half the stories on this blog were made up. It's kinda like how in a soap opera you have that one character who has come back from the dead, been kidnapped, had her baby daddy's DNA results switched with her brother, found out she had an evil twin and spent half a year in a coma and you can't help but wonder how the heck do folks expect you to believe ALL that crap would happen to one person?!

I'm sure some of you ask yourselves the same thing about me when i tell some of the random things strangers say to me. But i swear, it's all true. I even find myself avoiding strangers because i know there's no way i can explain yet another "random stranger said this to me" story. But for some reason strangers love saying the weirdest crap to me.

Take this past Sunday in Wally World for example:

James and i are in the produce sections grabbing our last few items before we head to our Mother's Day lake picnic. I'm carrying River (mistake #1, he is a weirdo magnet! well, he's so dang cute that he attracts everyone, but weirdos love him) and checking out the tomatoes.
A normal looking lady walks up and starts looking at the tomatoes too. The maters were actually really nice looking, which i guess inspired her to share some randomness with me:

Crazy tomato lady: These look good!
ReRe: Yea, they actually do.
Crazy tomato lady: My grandpa used to grow the biggest, best tomatoes. My mom would just go out to the garden with a salt shaker, grab a tomato and eat it up right there in the garden.
ReRe: I bet that was nice!
Crazy tomato lady: Well, not really. He was an abusive man who beat the crap out of her daily and withheld food so tomatoes were actually the only thing she really ate.
ReRe (i just stare blankly at her. i have no clue what to say for awhile): Man...that sucks.
Crazy tomato lady: Yea...but the tomatoes were gorgeous.

Seriously?!

I either need to stop taking River to the grocery store or stop wearing my "I like to blog about your craziness, please come talk to me" shirt.

Oh, so that's where babies are made!

I'll admit it. I have a cute kid. Even if he wasn't mine, i'd still think he was a cutie patootie. I also admit that our shopping trips take at least a half-hour longer because folks want to oogle him. We get the expected comments "He's so cute" "look at those big brown eyes" "i love his hair" etc.

But we got the strangest comment/conversation during a recent shopping trip. River and I were perusing the pharmacy section while James waited on a prescription. A guy who could probably replace Bernie Mac in the Kings of Comedy smiled at me a few times and nodded at River. He mumbled. Most folks wouldn't have known what he said, but since I have a lot of uncles (and a daddy) who could be members of the Kings of Comedy, i speak southern-drawl-black man. He was saying River was a good looking young man.

When James walked up to us, Pharmacy Bernie Mac gave James a fist bump (i was proud that James knew what to do!). While fist bumping, Bernie Mac said:

That's a good looking boy you got there. You didn't get him from Wal-Mart. Nope, that kid was made in the bedroom!

And then he did a creepy grunt/giggle.

How do you respond to that?! James, who doesn't speak southern-drawl-black man, didn't think he heard him correctly. But oh yeah, that's what he said.

So yes ladies and gents, you do not get Rivers at Wally World. They are strictly made in the bedroom.

People with 662 area codes are nuts, here is the proof!

I don't even know where to begin!

On our way home from church and errands yesterday, my phone rang. It was an area code and number i didn't recognize. For a split second i thought it was Sallie Mae trying to get sneaky and call from another line -- but that's a whole nother blog. Anywhoo, i answered it. And then this post was born:

ReRe: Hello
Charlie Sheen's black twin: Pam?! Pam, is this you? How you doing girl.
ReRe: This isn't Pam, you have the wrong number.
Charlie Sheen's black twin: Do you know Pam?
ReRe: No, i don't.
Charlie Sheen's black twin: Well, someone called me from this number. From a 405 number. Do you know anyone with a a 405 number.
ReRe: Yes, i know myself. But i didn't call you. I think you must have misdialed.
Charlie Sheen's black twin: Well, look at that. I'm trying to find Pam, but i ended up finding a new friend. Who needs a dating service when you can just dial. So, you wanna be my friend.
ReRe (fining it hard not to laugh. i put him on speaker phone so James can hear the funniness): I already have a friend. I'm married.
Charlie Sheen's black twin: Come on. We can be friends. I'm a millionaire.
ReRe: Well, that's nice. But i'm taken.
Charlie Sheen's black twin: Do you have a picture phone? Can you get pictures on your phone? I can send you pictures of my house. I'm a millionaire.
ReRe (took me a while to figure out what a picture phone was): Nope, can't get pictures on my phone. So don't send anything. Good luck finding Pam.
Charlie Sheen's black twin: I don't need Pam. I found you.
ReRe: Well, that's too bad. I'm taken.
Charlie Sheen's black twin: Come on. I need a white girl.
(Finally, my way out!) ReRe: Well, i'm a black girl.
Charlie Sheen's black twin: No you're not.
ReRe: I promise you, yes i am.
Charlie Sheen's black twin: But you sound white.
ReRe: It's called proper English. But yes, i'm black.
Charlie Sheen's black twin: ok. bye. (hangs up)

thank god 8 years ago when james prank called me he was looking for a black girl!

Potluck Friday

Yay! Happy Friday!

1. Who went to bed last night at 7:30? Umm, you can't see me, but i have my hand in the air. You'd think i'd be rested, but i'm still exhausted. River is an easy baby, not fussy, sleeps through the night, etc. But dang, he just makes me tired! between loving on those fat cheeks, doing laundry and trying to maintain looking fabulous for my hubby (well, as fabulous as i can look while still feeling like i look like a melted hershey kiss) i'm tired! So double TGIF!
   
   
2. I don't regularly tune in to Idol, but i saw enough on Tuesday to know that the dude who "sang" the Usher song needed to go, and luckily America agreed with me. I think that was the WORST thing i've ever heard. And i'm glad everyone thinks that Jacob Lusk is the second coming of Luther, but i have two thoughts on that: 1) No he's not and 2) even if he was, who cares because the 12 year-old girls voting have no idea that a house is not a home or who Luther is!
   
   
3. For the first time in 29 years, i'm giving up something for Lent. Sweets. So from Wednesday, March 9 - Saturday, April 23 (my wedding anniversary) I'm going to be a hot freaking mess! So you've been warned. I HAVE to do this. I work out like a mad woman, i've done so for year. I love me some cardio. And i truly believe that if Betty Crocker had never been born, i'd totally be a size 2. But dang that Betty and her delicious recipes for all things that make my butt big(ger). That coupled with having a group of girlfriends that love food do not help the situation. so i'm trying to take out my kryptonite. Wish me luck! (and James luck, and well, anyone who is around me those 40 days).
   
   
4. (TMI Alert) So last night when i woke up from my mid-evening nap, the house smelled warm and good, like something had been cooked. I was starving and was excited at the prospect of something tasty. While i slept, James and River spent time playing and doing dishes. I rolled over and looked at James:
   ReRe: The house smells yummy! Did you cook something.
   James: No, but i farted.
   
   Thanks honey. Thanks for making my appetite disappear faster than Taylor Hicks on the Top 40 Hits list. Thanks for that!
   
   
5. What's ReRe jamming this week. Some Lil Wayne!!! I love Mr. Carter. and i love this song "6 foot 7 foot." Mr. Carter is a talented dude. And i strongly suggest watching his Behind the Music story -- totally will make you see him in a different light. (wow, i have a crush on him).
   

The Great Wall of China (aka getting "fixed) Debate

It's funny how the second you bust out a kid, everyone wants to know one thing: When are you guys having another one?

Well, honestly River is still under warranty so were seeing if he is a keeper or not before we make any decisions. Haha! Just kidding! If I knew for a fact that all babies were as easy as River, i'd have a dozen. But I know this is not the case, so therefore James and i will not be having a dozen mixie babies.

But we will have at least one more. I'm cool with two, but James (who is #9 of 11 kids) would like at least 3. So that brings us to the conversation we had recently:

James: So when we have kid # 3 are you going to get your tubes tied?

ReRe (shocked, because pretty sure we've discussed this before): Ummm, who says were having 3? AND I'm NOT the one getting fixed? It's YOU!

James: Me?

ReRe: Yea, it's your soldiers who are gonna be blocked by the great wall of China. It's an easier process for you. Snippity snip, in and out. Why should i have the kids PLUS have to have another huge process? No thank you! It's all you buddy!

James: But what if my younger second wife wants to have kids?!

I then proceeded to punch him in the jejunum!

For your viewing pleasuring: River! (I call this photo "Half White/Half Black Power")

Remote Control

I come home from the gym yesterday morning to find River sitting in his vibrating seat in the living room -- right in front of the TV. He was watching some reality show on MTV (it wasn't Skins thank God).

ReRe: Daddy! Did you prob River in front of the TV?!
James: I was getting dressed.
ReRe: He was watching some trashy reality show on MTV!!
James: I guess i should have checked to see what he had it was on.

Apparently RIVER picks his own shows!

It's only been 13 weeks and we are already doing all the DON'TS of parenting! oh well, my kid is cute, happy and loved -- if watching Jersey Shore gets those results all i have to say is "pumpin yo fist in da air!"