I'm dreaming of a black christmas

I'm going to my first Ugly Christmas Sweater Party...and i don't have anything to wear.

I've been told i can find an ugly Christmas sweater at a thrift store. but i'm too cheap for that. Yes, i'm two cheap to throw down $2-$5 on a sweater! Why? Because i can't grasp the idea of buying something that i wont' wear again for another 30 years. I figure if it's taken me 30 years to get invited to one of these, it will probably take me another 30 years to find an occasion to wear my sweater to again.

I'd never even heard of Ugly Christmas Sweater parties until a few years ago when i stumbled across the blog Stuff White People Like (love that blog!). It talked about along with hummus and political bumper stickers, white folks love them some Ugly Christmas Sweater Parties. I don't know if this is true or not (I personally love me some hummus), but i can attest that i don't know any brothas or sistas who have ever attended or thrown one of these.

This got me to thinking what are some other holiday differences between black folks and white folks. Of course i can only based this off my life as little black ReRe during Christmas (and some of the other info i've gathered at the black folk meetings):

• Black folks don't put lights on their house. It's not because we don't have the christmas cheer, but it's just a lot of work and for what? to draw attention to your house "hey OG&E, we found a way to bootleg electricity." "Hey car repo man...we are over here!." No thanks!
  
• Black kids don't leave out cookies for Santa. I "believed" in Santa in the sense that i thought he was magical and special...but i also knew he didn't come to our house and we weren't going to let some perfectly good Hydrox cookies (generic oreos) sit out all night long.
  
• We don't stuff stockings. I remember just drooling over the big tacky stockings in the grocery stores. the ones filled with just crap and wrapped in that weird mesh stuff. I'd beg and beg for one. My mama made it very clear that that stocking was a gift in its self, so i could have that big stocking full of crap, or my gift under the tree...my choice. The stocking became less appealing.
  
• Black folks put up their tree right before Christmas (sometimes day of) and take it down right before the 4th of July (or leave it up all year long). Again, it's just a lot of work to drag the sucker out and then put it back up. I used to envy all my friends who would have their trees up right after turkey day...and then i'd be embarrassed that our tree was still up during spring break.

I bet if River could read, he'd be happy to know that only half of these things are going to apply to him!