Monday, December 5, 2011

I'm BAAAACCCKKK!

Remember that girl with the funny blog? What happened to her? Well, i heard she had a crappy desktop computer that she'd have to get up uber early in the mornings to warm up and then pray that an hour later it would be working so she could blast out some funny. Sometimes it would be ready, and sometimes it wouldn't' :(

and then one early November morning she'd crafted a hilarious Potluck Friday and the computer froze. She lost her mind, yelling and screaming and maybe saying some potty words. She told her husband (who has a direct connection to Santa) that she needed a laptop and she would NOT be rambling until Santa brought her one.

Sooo, Santa recently made an early visit and dropped off a shiny HP and some WiFi and now that funny girl is back!

Here are some snippits of hilarity that have taken place in casa de Ramblings the last month:

  • I was painting my toe nails last weekend and River was so intrigued by it. I'd stroke some paint on, and he'd rub it off with his finger. He just couldn't stay away from me. So me, being the open-minded mama i am, decided to paint his toe nails. So i sat him down and painted his first toe. He flipped out and was not a fan, so i wiped it off. "Well, he hates toe nail polish...he just passed the gay test," i told daddy. Daddy's quick response:" Wow, and mama just passed the 'I'm Sally Kern test.'" SLAM!
  • My phone charger recently died, so i headed to the T-Mobile store for a new one. I searched high and low on the wall and displays, but could not find one for my phone. So i went and asked a worker.
    Me: I can't find a charger for my phone.
    Him: What kind is it?
    Me: I have a MyTouch (I pull it out)
    Him: Ugh....you have the OLD Mytouch.
    Me: (i'm confused. i got my phone when it came out, less than two years ago. it's not my fault technology changes faster than Kim Kardashian's husbands)

    He then digs through what i'm sure is an electronics trash can and hands me an unpackaged old blackberry charger that he said will work and i can have for free because i'm the only loser in the world still using the MyTouch that came out in 2010. He acted like i drove up in a Gremlin and wanted a new carburetor. Whatevs! my phone is fully charged and i didn't spend a dime!
  • Last night i watched the most disturbing show: The Virgin Diaries. Apparently TLC has put their obsession with little people and folks with too many dang kids on hold to showcase 35 year old virgins. Don't get me wrong. Nothing wrong with being a 35 year-old virgin, but is it necessary to go on TV and let every body know our business?! Some highlights from the show was the chick who was a "reclaimed virgin." She said she'd slept with her past 7 boyfriends, but was now a reclaimed virgin. Umm, no, you are just a lady who has had a rough patch on the dating scene. I was also entertained by the dude who invited his mom over to tell her he was a virgin. Ummm, I never want to have that kind of openness with River...and that mother had the same feeling. But the BEST part of the show was the couple who was saving their first kiss for their wedding...again, that's your business, but a camera crew is not necessary. Stranger than the couple, were their friends and family who were just too interested in their first kiss and wedding night. But nothing, and i mean NOTHING can top their first kiss (i just wanna know why they thought this was how normal kissing is done. haven't they ever watched a movie, or gathered around their kissing friends in middle school to gawk. either one of those experiences should have told them that what they are doing in front of God, and their loved ones is NOT kissing):

1 comment:

Lil' Woman said...

That is the most disturbing kiss ever....she's attacking his face.