The bearded lady

River: you have a beard!
Me: um, no i don't.
River: why not?
Me: because i'm a lady. ladies don't have beards.
River: why not?
Me: because God didn't give me a beard.
River: Daddy has a beard.
Me: yes. he has patchy hair he calls a beard.
River: Why does he call it a beard?
Me: because he's delusional.

My son, the super hero!

My 3.5 year-old River has become obsessed with superheroes. And I must say I'm happy! Not because i'm a fanatic. but because the 2.5 year obsession with Thomas the Train was making me stabby. I wouldn't wish that "useful" engine on my worst enemy.

So in October I made a strategic plan to slowing push that engine into a deep deep tunnel far away: we did a spider man birthday party! for months I talked up Spiderman and how super cool he is. We had a blast at the party. And then daddy discovered old school spiderman episodes on Netflix (umm, the soundtrack for that show is super 70s adult movies -- if you know what i mean!)

So River is in super hero heaven.  Lately he's been calling himself "Super River." He's dubbed me Super Mommy and he's dubbed little brother "Bad Boo Boo." Apparently little brother is the villain.

Today we took our pretend play to the next level by designing costumes and listing our super powers.
I thought it would be fun to pass the time -- it's icy out. I thought River would enjoy it, but honestly i think enjoyed it more!

the best part was when Riv listed his powers to me. my favorite was "I can lift really heavy dog cages!" And i can vouch for him. He can. And he's told daily to stop lifting the dog cage!

i also liked when he scolded me for drawing a cape on Super River: "Why did you put that cape on me? I fly in a rocket! my rocket has fire."

I also realized Riv doesn't quite understand snark. He didn't understand when i told him my super powers consisted of stopping tantrums and cooking with little brother holding on to my leg!

This was a blast!

Wives before Bros, yo!

James: there's an app called Bro App that i can get and have it send you messages at certain times.
ReRe: Bro App? Like "why you mad, bro?!"
James: yeah!
ReRe: what kind of messages?
James: like i'm thinking of you messages. i can set it up to send them to you every day at a certain time.
ReRe: so you would schedule when to tell me you are thinking of me?!
James: ......
ReRe: hmmm. well i'll find an app that will schedule nice stuff for you too -- but i'll set it for once a year!
James: ..... :(

This is how it started with Einstein!

I know every parent thinks their kid is a genius. But I truly believe mine is! i make sure to tell him daily, especially in situations of extraordinary brain flexes such as this one:

river: (with his eyes closed) can brother see me?
me: yes.
river: why? I have my eyes closed.
me: yeah, but he can still see you.
river: because he has his eyes open?
me: you are a genius!

What did you just call me?!

Working in a nursing home means the hubs comes home with some interesting tales of what patients have said to him that day. His stories are often colorful when said patients don't realize he's married to a black lady. No peeps, those pics of brown kids on his desk aren't half Indian!

So the other day I teased hubs a bit when he used his aging patients as an excuse...

James: I think working with elderly folks has made my grammar worse?
ReRe: huh?
James: yeah, they always say words that aren't words any more or that aren't correct.
ReRe: umm, no. you've always had terrible grammar!
James: what?! what do I say wrong.
ReRe: you use "seen" the wrong way!
James: how?
ReRe: 'I seen this, I seen that.' ugh! it's bad.
James: well, I blame the people i work with.
ReRe: is that why you've been calling me colored lately?
James: WHAT?! i don't call you colored!

i love to keep him on his toes!

out of hiding!

man oh man! it's been nearly a year since i posted. i admit, i was scared of turning this into a "mommy blog." in my mind i'm a big deal with tons of fans, and i was so worried that my "fans" -- my Re-natics! -- would roll their eyes at all the aaron and river posts. i mean, come on, how many kid posts can one person handle. of course i tell myself that my kids are so darn cute and funny that no one could get tired of them....
but then i find me locking myself in the bathroom and pretending i'm having tummy issues when it's really because i need a break from those cute kids! and then i realize, if i need  a break, the web may too.

but then i said...

nah!

i'm a mommy. i have a blog. i may post about my kids. this is the life. but don't worry. i will still bring the goods about my favorite skinny meatless husband. my crazy lil bro. and i may even throw in some more crazy cousin keisha! (she is still crazy!).

how often will i post? ummm, i won't make any promises. i'm like a toddler and naps. some days i'll post. and some days i'll jump on the bed and scream "i'm spiderman and you are the bad guy. i want some chocolate. why is the grass not blue." that's life yo!

it feels good to be "back!"