Things you can't do when your jaw is wired shut

I can't imagine being on a liquid diet for 3 weeks. Watching Lil Bro eat is painful -- and kind of icky. But i've come to realize that the liquid diet is no where near the hardest thing he has to deal with. Having his jaw wired shut has interfered with a lot of things we all take for granted:

• Yawning. Lil Bro can't yawn! He said that he sometimes feels a yawn coming on and forgets his mouth won't open "...and it just feels like i'm stretching out my brain." (I told him that could be a good thing -- ain't nothing wrong with a little brain stretching).
  
• Lick his lips. His tongue has gotta be feeling claustrophobic these days. The other days his licks were so chapped that i was tempted to have one of the dogs lick them for him. But i opted to just buy him some chapstick. (Lil Bro did gross me out when he said his little girlfriend licked them sometimes. Ick. I just threw up in my mouth).
  
• Sucking a straw. Yeah, he can suck through a straw, but if the stuff he is slurping is not pure liquid it just gets stuck in his wires.
  
• Spit. If Lil Bro has something really worked up in his throat he can't get it out. Before we left the hospital we were warned about 1,000 times about making sure he has his wire cutters on him at all times in case he feels sick and needs to...you know. What a terrible way to go.
  
• Sneeze. Maybe this is just the bad manners in me, but i can't imagine sneezing with my mouth closed. Yes, i cover my mouth, but it's totally wide open behind my hand.
  
• Whistle. Kind of hard to whistle when your teeth are clenched together like a poor man's Mike Jones.