Monday, June 14, 2010

I just had to get this off my chest -- and hopefully off of Facebook

I will admit that my Facebook addiction has increased ever since i got my smartphone. Once upon a time is shunned smartphone users. "Why do you need internet on your phone?" I'd ask. (I used to wonder why folks needed a camera on their phone as well). But i'm a changed woman. I love that i can post my snarky updates at any time of day, no matter where i am.
Take today for example; James and I both have jury duty. A month ago i would have dreaded the boredom, but not anymore -- I will have my smartphone to keep me company as i post about my fellow jurors all day long (knocking on wood that my phone is not prohibited while i'm waiting).

Back to my addiction.

One thing that i have noticed since i've become a deeper lover of Facebook, is that i get edgy about some of the other updates i see. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but i think updates should be funny, snarky, meaningful, original etc. And THESE do not meet those criteria:

  • Bible verses: I love me some God, but what's up with all the Bible verses? 1) it's not original to quote a book as old as the Bible and 2) Is it necessary to do this EVERY DAY???? Even Jesus is like "enough already! whatcha eating for lunch?"

  • Farmville and other nonsense: Don't you love the folks who have never once posted a status other than "____just bred a baby bird" or "_____has a baby bear who is lost" and my fave: "_____zebra just escaped the zoo, Oh My!" Really? Really? You're telling me that you joined Facebook so you could breed unicorns and grow food you'll never eat?

  • Song lyrics and Movie quotes: I liken this to the Bible verses -- not original to quote Shrek and Brooks & Dunn. I do think there is a loophole to this. If you're gonna quote a lyric or movie, tie it in to something real. For example, if i felt an urge to quote Naughty by Nature, i'd put something like "Today James is down with O.P.P. -- And i'm excited" or something like that.

  • Updates only you and maybe 1 out of 670 of your friends get: You know how it was rude to have inside jokes when you were in elementary school? Well, nothing has changed. It's even ruder on Facebook. Imagine nothing but a wall of "La Girafee -- Hoy!" "How does it feel? How was your trip?" "BGWBand3M" and other things that only my close friends and hubby understand (and would crack up at)? Exactly, so stop it.

    I've said this last one before, but it can't be said enough:

  • Ghetto updates: No one wants to read about your baby mama drama, whose b-u-t-t you kicked this weekend, how you are fighting with your mother-in-law, etc. Well, maybe people do wanna know, but all of them are sitting in Jerry Springer's audience.
Now, if you find that you are guilty of any of the above, please know that i still cherish you deeply as a friend, but also know that you are not just driving me crazy, you are driving all of your other friends crazy too. But if that's how you roll, do your thang.


Harriet B said...

Can I add a couple:
1) I am sooo blessed. Ok, already you said that yesterday and the day before and the ....well you get it.

2) My ___________ (husband, kid, mom) etc. are just so wonderful and I"m so darn happy I could pop. Again, this is nice but when you post it everyday it gets to be bragging. Just saying!

3) Farmville...anything Farmville! should be banned

Love you ReRe!!

PS I'm sure I've violated some of this before, but today is Monday and I'm cranky!

Lil' Woman said...

I agree..I deleted my Facebook but I hated that effin Farmville, HATED IT!

BPD in OKC said...

I get annoyed when people do status updates for every single thing they do during the day. I really don't care where you eat lunch, who you talk to on the phone, what your child said this morning, what time you'll be getting off work, etc etc etc

Tim said...

I have some annoyances to add to the list.

1. It bothers me when people post vague comments without being specific. For example--""I GOT SOME EXCITING NEWS TODAY"".. Why do people post that without telling us what the exciting news is? If you're not gonna tell what the exciting news is, then don't post anything about it at all. Another example is ""FIVE MORE DAYS UNTIL I LEAVE FOR VACATION."".. Why would you tell us you're getting ready to go on vacation without telling us where you're going???

2. Statuses about holidays. Whenever a holiday arrives, EVERY single person on Facebook posts a status that says "HAPPY EASTER" "HAPPY THANKSGIVING" "HAPPY 4th of JULY" etc etc. I like holidays too. But when 275 of my Facebook friends have the exact same status, it gets kind of annoying. Instead of just saying HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, people should start posting statuses about the interesting things that their gonna be doing on the holidays.

3. When people say ""IM EATING LUNCH AT BURGER BURGER OR SONIC"" then they post a picture of the food they're eating. Unless you're eating a new creation that no one in the world has seen before, there's no need to post pictures of the food you're eating. I've eaten a thousand cheeseburgers in my lifetime. I don't need to be reminded of what they look like.

4. I'm with you on the Farmville stuff. Farmville should be banned from Facebook.

5. Women who only use their married last name. Your profile needs to have your maiden name and your married name. At least put the maiden name in parenthesis. Females elementary school who request me as a friend, most of the time I have no idea who they are and I don't accept their friend accept. I only know them by their maiden name because I haven't seen them in 20 years and didn't know they were married.

6. People who pretend to pray for you. Whenever someone posts a status that says ""I WRECKED MY CAR" or "I BROKE MY LEG AND IM IN THE HOSPITAL" or ""MY HOUSE WAS ROBBED", and then 200 of their friends will leave a comment that says "IM SORRY THAT HAPPENED. I'LL PRAY FOR YOU" or ""I'LL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS." ... lets be honest. How many of those people are actually gonna get on their hands and knees and pray for you? One or two people probably will, but not all 200 hundred of your friends who left a comment saying they would pray for you. :)

7. I agree with Harriet... People who only say ""I AM SO BLESSED." well duh!!! God blesses everyone in some way or another. No need to post that same status every single day.

8. People (who i haven't seen in 5 years) who leave a comment on my wall and say ""HEY TIM, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN FOREVER. LET'S HANG OUT SOON SO WE CAN CATCH UP."" and then whenever I erase my schedule to try to hang out with them, they tend to cancel and make up an excuse by saying "Something urgent came up at the last minute."... If you know good and well that we're not gonna hang out anytime soon, don't post those comments on my wall.

9. People who post a status every morning and every night that says ""Good morning Facebook family"" or "Goodnight Facebook family".

10. I agree with you on the multiple Bible verses. It's starting to become a competition among people to see who can post the most Bible verses in a single day. People seem to think if you post the most Bible verses then God will love you more, and you'll have seniority when you get to heaven. We all know God sits around in heaven spending several hours reading Facebook Bible statuses, right??? :)

ReRe said...

oh Tim you cracked me up!i must admit i'm guilty of not using my maiden name (Smith) but i figure folks know who i am -- i'm pretty sure i'm the only ReRe who went to Norman schools!

Jade said...

How about this one-dimensional "dear Facebook friends, my sister-in-law only has a few short days left on this earth, please keep her in your prayers that she has a painless passing into the next world". Really? Did you really just inform the facebook world that my aunt is about to bite the bullet?! (this was a post by my oh so tacky step mother). I don't think it gets much tackier than that.