Monday, June 28, 2010

Yes, i was THAT pregnant woman on the dance floor

So how did you spend your weekend? I spent mine doing what every 6-month pregnant lady should be doing: dancing at the club.

I talk a lot of mess when i'm getting my hair did. I always say that i'm gonna take my new do out on the town. Shake it up on the dance floor. But after 2 hours in the beauty shop and a 45 minute drive home, i'm usually too pooped to go out. But this past Friday was different. It was the anniversary of MJ's death and everyone was playing his music non-stop. So by the time i got done with my hair, i still had energy, and so did one of my girlfriends, so we grabbed our men and headed to Opies. I've talked about Opies before, but in case you don't know the fabulousness of it, here it is in a nutshell: Imagine going to the state fair, or a local carnival. Now, imagine all the carnies doing the cupid shuffle.

That's Opies! It's so good. Even if you don't like to dance, the people watching alone is worth the $5 cover charge.

I'd feel uncomfortable taking my baby bump to any other club, but at Opie's i was sure of two things: I wasn't the only pregnant lady, and I was the best mom in there!

I was sure the baby bump coupled with sitting with my husband would take away my hot commodity status -- but i was wrong (of course i was, this is Opie's).

Bill & Ted were on an excellent adventure that night and spotted my girlfriend and me almost immediately. Bill & Ted looked like they would be more comfortable moshing to some Nirvana, but they clearly enjoyed doing the cupid shuffle along side me and my girl. That's fine, except the cupid shuffle does not require you to grind my let; Bill clearly learned this dance in prison.

For a few seconds i thought about seriously grinding on Bill and then dropping this nugget in his ear: "My son, who is in utero, is really enjoying this." But then i wondered if he was one of those freaky dude's attracted to ladies carrying other men's babies. So i just danced away from him.

Bill & Ted were not the only weirdos out. The highlight of the night was watching two young guys who both looked like Omar Epps, dance with ladies who looked like really skinny Betty Whites. To top it off, one guy had a lavender hand towel hanging out of his back pocket. At first i thought he was trying to claim a gang, but the embroidered swan on the towel made it clear that the only gang he was part of was lead by Martha Stewart.

When Lavender boy wasn't dancing with Betty White, he was stealing drinks from other people's tables. Two thoughts on this: 1) ghetto 2) brilliant! why did i not ever think of this in my younger days!

The funniest part, is that Lavender Drink Stealer was our carhop the next day at Sonic:

James: I'm gonna give him a really good tip so he can buy his own drinks!

I can't wait to put this story in River's baby book!


Lil' Woman said...

1st- Bill and Ted...creepy!
2nd- I need to know what a young Betty White looks like, please take a pic next time
3rd- really, a swan??
4th- yuck, I don't think I could ever drink some random persons drink.

Anonymous said...

Keep them coming; your know we live through your ramblings.