Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I blushed -- and that's not easy for me to do

I never thought this day would come, but apparently it has: i'm an old, conservative fogie. Well, at least when it comes to onesies for my kiddo.

While strolling through the mall last week, i decided to pop into Spencer's to check out the hip/trendy baby gear. River already has a selection of cool onesies like a RUN DMC one and a Bob Marley one (his daddy's personal favorite), but i figured he can't ever be too cool.

The minute i started looking at the offerings my jaw fell on the floor. I'm no prude -- ask my girlfriends -- but i just don't want my kid to be in anything that says:

  • I love my mom...even though she's a B!TCH (I added the !)

  • I love to suck titties

  • My dad is a magician. He put his wand in mom's box and I popped out

  • Watch your F$cking mouth, there's a baby over here!

I could go on, but this is a family blog!

River will have to make do with the hip onesies at Wally World that say things like

  • If you think i'm handsome, you should see my daddy

  • Wild Child


TheFabJG said...

:o That is my face, jaw-dropped and everything, as I'm reading some of the stuff that was on those onesies! I'm right there with ya girlfriend! Taaaaacky.

BPD in OKC said...

I am praying I get pregnant one day just so I have my kid wear stuff from Spencers & Hot Topic. I really want a girl so I can get the one at Spencers that says "If you think I'm a bitch, you should meet my mother"

ReRe said...

i like snarky onesies, but i don't know, something about the idea of my 8 pound infant wearing an outfit that says Bitch across it just turned my stomach! i wouldn't even wear that!

my in-laws would freak if River rolled up in a "Excuse my tittie breath" onesie!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

How about one that says, "Mommy and Daddy made the beast with two backs and all I got was my life."

Impulsive Addict said...

ReRe!!!!!! I'm so glad you're still writing funny stuff for me to read! I guess I went to your old blog yesterday and I got confused but I see that you have a NEW blog! It just made my day! Now if you'll excuse me, you have tons for me to catch up on! I'm so excited for River to make his appearance. Maybe we can pimp out our kids and entice them into hooking up! Wait....that sentence just sounds all wrong.

dev said...

I'll go in there and probably laugh at them, but couldn't imagine actually putting a kid in anything like that. I'd be embarrassed.

Jennifer K said...

Okay, I'm a horrible person. I did laugh when I saw that picture of the onesie. However, I would never buy it for anyone.

I did get my nephew a Ramones t-shirt when he was one. He rocked that shit!

K.Line said...

Monkey is hilarious! And I am horrified by the slogans on those onesies. What ever happened to cute little duck patterns??