Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Step Up 3D -- The REview

Have you ever been walking through Wally World and you thought to yourself: Someone should film me shopping and make it 3D?

You know you aren't doing anything worthy of 3D -- like throwing cans of green beans at the screen or pushing the cart really hard -- but heck, it would still be fun!

Well, this is exactly what had to be going through the minds of the folks who made Step Up 3D. Remember when i laughed hysterically at this film, promising that i would NEVER see it. Well, i went back on a self-promise because my girl Kerra likes bad movies and for her 28th b-day, i took her to see this turd (yes, i'm a good friend).

There are no words for how bad, yet good this movie was. Bad -- because, well, it's a 3D dance movie with no famous folks, need i say more. And good -- because, well, it's a 3D dance movie with no famous folks.

I laughed hysterically throughout the entire thing, but i don't think it was meant to be a comedy. Don't get me wrong, i LOVE me some dance movies. Nothing gets better than Breakin' 2: the Electric Boogaloo. But Step Up 3D had no dancing on the ceiling, high-yella brothas with jeri curls or cool 80s clothes.

But Setp Up 3D did have some "good" stuff:

  • Let's say you are an 18 year-old dude and in the bathroom doing your business at the urinal. The next thing you know a group of dudes walk in with not-so-nice looks on their faces. Do you think 1) these dudes are gonna make a prison video with me 2) these dudes are gonna beat me to death or 3) these guys wanna have a dance off with me.

    if you picked #3, then you've either seen Step Up 3D or you had a really weird childhood. The bathroom dance scene made me squeamish. All i kept thinking was, don't put your hands on that! yuck!

  • I also laughed hysterically at the Fred Astairesque dance scene between the curly headed guy (who up until half way through i thought was a girl -- his hair is FAB!) and that little cute girl from the Missy Eliot video. They randomly start dancing in the street in the street with trash can lids, running through cabs, stealing bystander's hats, etc. I busted a gut.

  • Oh, and i can't leave out the one 3D "worthy" scene where hot guy and his love interest stand on top of an air conditioning unit with their Icee drinks. they slurp through their straws, place it over the AC unit and...OMG! icee bubbles look like they are going to land on me! What?! Seriously? did i just pay $13 to watch that?

I did pick up one good thing from the movie: BFABB. That means Born From a Boom Box.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Sweet, sweet sarcasm.

Steven said...

Man, that poster makes it look as if the world was at stake. Is that NY being destroyed by their 3D dance skills?

Steven said...

Nope, just noticed the Eiffel tower. I guess the entire world is either being crushed, or shown in very poor perspective.

Lil' Woman said...

All the Step Up movies make me want to scratch my eyeballs out..they're horrible