Potluck Friday!

Happy Friday!!!! the last Friday of 2011!

So, as many of you know, last weekend James and I kept our 3 nieces (ages 8, 5, and 4). It was a magical weekend of baking cookie, watching Disney Channel (which i didn't even know i had) and making up answers to tons of questions because the true answers just didn't seem to be cutting it.
There were tons of highlights from all 3 girls, but it was my youngest nieces who truly stole the show, and it would be just wrong for me not to share some of those gems with my loyal readers.

So, out of the mouth of a 4 year-old, here is a very special Potluck Friday:

1. Along with gingerbread cookies, the girls and I also made cake balls. Strawberry cake with cream cheese icing! so as i was pulling the cake from the oven, my sweet young niece blessed me with this:
   Niece: (standing behind me) That cakes smells good!
   Aunt Re: Thank you!
   Niece: But your butt doesn't! Come here girls (calling her sisters), come smell Aunt ReRe's butt.
   Aunt Re: Let's not! That's gross.
   Niece: (she bends over and points her butt at me) Your butt is bigger than mine. see?
   Aunt Re: Thanks...i had no clue!
   
2. The girls were just so intrigued by River's diaper changes. I got questioned about why he pooped his pants, why he did it so often and just WHY! Lil Niece was the most curious.
   Niece: What's wrong with River's belly button.
   Aunt Re: (i'm mid diaper change). Nothing is wrong with his belly button.
   Niece: Uh huh. It looks funny.
   Aunt Re (i realize she's not talking about his belly button): Oh, that's not his belly button. That's his private parts.
   Niece: Why does it look like that?
   Aunt Re: Because he's a boy.
   Niece (shuttering in disgust): Ugh!
   Aunt Re: hahaha! keep that attitude for as long as possible!
   
3. Lil Niece's curiosity with Riv's bathroom behavior did not stop there. While i was finishing the cake balls in the kitchen -- because the girls abandoned me when they realized that the dipping part sounded funner than it actually is -- i heard Uncle "Bames" having the strangest conversation.
   Uncle Bames: Poop is not a toy. Bring that poop back here.
   
   Before i knew it, Lil Niece was beside me in the kitchen, swinging around a walmart bag with a poopy diaper. You would have thought she had a bag full of money. she was so dang excited. So excited that she sang me a song.
   Niece: I got the poop! I got the poop! I got the poop! (she sang this several times while twirling the bag with joy....it's the little things!)
   
4. I don't know who she was proclaiming this to, but as Lil Niece was walking through the house, i heard her say (to no one in particular): Boogers are sticky like glue!
   

Please turn to Apps 3:16

Our new family Christmas tradition (new as in this year) is to read the Nativity Story before we open our gifts. We thought it would be a good way to further the message to our offspring that Christmas is not about 5,609 presents under the tree...or even cookies, but the birth of our savior.

So anywhoo, it's time to bust out the story, and this is the conversation that ensued -- further proof that we are too reliant on technology:

ReRe: Daddy, you wanna look up the Nativity story so we can read it and then we'll do gifts.
James: Yeah, but i'll have to unplug my phone first (his phone was playing Christmas Pandora)
ReRe: Why do you need your phone?
James: So I can pull up the Bible app.
ReRe: Just get a regular Bible.
James: We have those? Like a hard copy, printed out one?
ReRe: Umm....???? YEAH! Like 3 or 4 of them.

I tell them where they are ....where we've kept them the last 7 years of marriage.

James (carrying the Bible in his hand): this is what we'll use if our app ever goes down and we need to upload a new copy!

Geesh!

Potluck Friday

Happy Potluck Friday and Christmas Eve Eve!

1. This is an exciting day! I will have 6 extra feet running around my kitchen today. My 3 nieces are coming to spend the night and we are going to be baking up a storm. Part of me thinks i'm crazy, but the other part is so freaking excited (ask me at 10 p.m. which part i should have listened too!) Riv is so excited. Right now he's showing his excitement by screaming on the kitchen floor. Oh wait, that's not excitement. He's ticked because i wouldn't let him play with steak knife he spotted on the cabinet. Mean mommy.
   
2. Christmas has br0ught on some hilarious conversations with my hubby. While watching "Mike and Molly" this week (love that show! Big girls represent!) We were laughing at Mike rushing around trying to find a gift for Molly, who was dropping tons of hints...that he didn't pick up on. This is soooo James. After 8 years, he still has no clue what to get me for birthdays or Christmas, whereas i listen to him gab all year and have plenty of ideas when occasions come upon us. This year we decided to do a couple's gift -- a new laptop. So that saved James hunting for a gift for me:
   ReRe: Are you glad we did a couple's gift so you don't have to be like Mike
   James: Oh yeah.
   ReRe: Why does picking a gift for me make you so stressed.
   James: Because it's a lot of pressure. I want you to know that i've been listening to you all year and know exactly what you want or need......but i don't listen to you.
   
   At least he's honest!
   
3. Another Christmas gem of a conversation happened last night when i was guilting him about not getting around to putting lights on our house 2 years in a row (last year we had a 2 month old so i gave him an out, but there's no excuse for this year!). So as we pull out of our driveway, i point to the neighbors house across the street and start the guilting:
   ReRe: See, they have lights on their house. Sure is pretty. I wish someone would put lights on my house.
   James: Yeah, they have lights on their house. But that's not what Christmas is about. It's not about giant blow up reindeer with lights. Nope. They may have lights on their house...but we have lights in our heart! That's what it's about.
   ReRe: Did you seriously just say "lights in our hearts"?!
   James: Yep. Lights in our hearts.
   
   So we spent the rest of the evening driving by houses that had huge light displays and saying "Their hearts are dim inside. No lights in their hearts!" hahahhaa
   
4. Epic fail of the week goes to the "great" governor of Oklahoma, Mary Fallin. Clearly Mary has never had a sick newborn, or uncomplicated birth. That's the only reason i can think of that would explain why she thinks signing a bill that allows an insurance company to deny coverage to a newborn. Thank goodness this wasn't in effect when I had River, who spent a week in NICU. I've never been more grateful for insurance or realized the importance of it. We are still paying off our portion of the NICU bill (counting down the days until May 15th ...my last payment), i can't imagine if we would have been responsible for the whole enchilada. Fail Mary Fallin. this is reason #4,839 why Jari Askins should have won. Boo!
   
5. What's ReRe jamming this week? "Good Feeling" by Flo Rida
   
   

Color Me Sadd

Pandora needs to stop playing Color Me Badd's "I Wanna Sex You Up" in the mornings when i'm trying to work out. I love the song too dang much to skip it, but it's just really not a good workout song. Why? For one it's too slow and i find myself slowing down on the elliptical or walking crazy slow on the track.And for two, i can't NOT sing the dang song...and i doubt 70 year-old dude on the track this morning appreciated me belting out "Come inside take off your coat, I'll make you feel at home..."

But honey badger don't care and i sang the whole dang song! It took me back to 1991...that was my jam. But listening to this song this morning made me realize two things:

1. It's very inappropriate that "I Wanna Sex You Up" was my jam in 1991...considering i was TEN years old!
   
2. And Bryan Abrams (lead singer dude who enjoys punching ladies in the face in Oklahoma City bars and became Color Me Sadd) sounds like a girl!

But despite those things...there is no denying that this song is the JAM!

(FUN RERE FACT: in 1992 i met Color Me Badd at Will Rogers Airport! I came in on a late night flight from visiting my daddy and they were there getting their luggage. I lost my mind!!! Besides marrying James and birthing the River Monster, this is definitely one of my proudest moments --i hear you judging me!)

Have a great day...and enjoy!

There's a white girl trapped inside me

Folks who know me well, know that there's not a creative bone in my body. I don't sew, paint, craft, do beadery, etc. There's a reason why God blessed me with a boy....he knows i'd lose my mind if i had to coordinate outfits with big headband bows! It just ain't my thang.

BUT motherhood has given me crafty impulses hear and there. I bought one of those icing bags so i could make homemade cupcakes for River's first birthday party. and i even painted him a shirt that said "BIRTHDAY BOY" with a giant pumpkin on the front. So yeah, i've had my moments. And i had another one of them this weekend.

Riv and i got crafty and made some very special Christmas ornaments for his PaPa and Grandmas. I'll admit that I was pretty darn proud of myself! Riv was proud of his mama too, so proud that "he" sent a text to Ms. T to tell her that his mama got crafty:

Riv: Look what my mama made!

Ms. T: Wow!

Riv: I know! Can you believe SHE got crafty?!

Ms. T: That's crazy. I knew there was a white girl trapped inside of her!

Riv: Next stop Pinterest!

No promises on the Pinterest thing! I don't know if my crafty flag is ready to fly quite that high. I think if Pinterest had a whole bunch of black folks on there it would be filled with recipes for collard greens (with and without neckbones), 101 ways to braid and bead your kid's hair and step-by-step directions on how to put your light bill in your 10 year-old's name....this was "crafting" was in my house!

Crap girls say!

This video is so funny....because it's so TRUE!

EVERYONE has Facebook!

We watched the following video at church yesterday and it made me smile, cry, laugh and get goosebumps all at once. LOVE it!

Potluck Friday

Happy Friday!!!

1. So please explain to me why texting and driving is unsafe, but Norman PD on laptops and driving is safe? Actually, i understand why texting and driving is unsafe...but i'm still at a loss as to how our (wo)men and blue can justify how looking on a laptop while maneuvering down Flood Ave. is safe. I saw this with my own eyes this morning. Me and Mr. PoPo side by side going about 30 down flood. Every time i glanced his way, he was looking at his laptop, using one hand to drive, the other to tap on his computer. Me thinks this be unsafe.
   
2. I saw the preview for the best thing ever: Celebrity Wife Swap! Wait, it gets better...Flava Flav will be on it. 1) I didn't even know he had a wife (WHO married him!) and 2) I can't wait for him to order his new wife to polish all his clocks daily!
   
3. In the last two weeks i've received more evidence that i'm getting old. Both realizations came from two of the kiddos i work with. I was showing one of my Littles a picture of Riv dressed like Mr. T for Halloween.
   Little: Who is he supposed to be
   ReRe: Mr. T
   Little: Who is Mr. T?
   ReRe: You know, the guy from that old show The A Team. gold chains? Mohawk? Big black dude in army pants?
   Little: I've never heard of him.
   ReRe: Well, back in the day he was like...like The Rock. Super strong, tough guy.
   Little: The Rock? Ohhh, you mean that old wrestler dude?
   Geesh, even my "current" pop culture references are old
   
   And the later in the week i made a Pee-Wee Herman reference and a 14 year-old said "Who's that?" yet, she made a reference to the show "Good Times" ??? Um, ok?!
   
4. What's Riv doing right now as mommy blogs? He is shoving hand fulls of cheerios into the dog's mouth (these cheerios are ones he has already sucked on).
   
5. When i get married again (to James of course), i'm going to walk down the aisle to this song by Bruno Mars. I can't help but to smile and feel like a giddy girl in love when i hear it.
   
   
   

I'm dreaming of a black christmas

I'm going to my first Ugly Christmas Sweater Party...and i don't have anything to wear.

I've been told i can find an ugly Christmas sweater at a thrift store. but i'm too cheap for that. Yes, i'm two cheap to throw down $2-$5 on a sweater! Why? Because i can't grasp the idea of buying something that i wont' wear again for another 30 years. I figure if it's taken me 30 years to get invited to one of these, it will probably take me another 30 years to find an occasion to wear my sweater to again.

I'd never even heard of Ugly Christmas Sweater parties until a few years ago when i stumbled across the blog Stuff White People Like (love that blog!). It talked about along with hummus and political bumper stickers, white folks love them some Ugly Christmas Sweater Parties. I don't know if this is true or not (I personally love me some hummus), but i can attest that i don't know any brothas or sistas who have ever attended or thrown one of these.

This got me to thinking what are some other holiday differences between black folks and white folks. Of course i can only based this off my life as little black ReRe during Christmas (and some of the other info i've gathered at the black folk meetings):

• Black folks don't put lights on their house. It's not because we don't have the christmas cheer, but it's just a lot of work and for what? to draw attention to your house "hey OG&E, we found a way to bootleg electricity." "Hey car repo man...we are over here!." No thanks!
  
• Black kids don't leave out cookies for Santa. I "believed" in Santa in the sense that i thought he was magical and special...but i also knew he didn't come to our house and we weren't going to let some perfectly good Hydrox cookies (generic oreos) sit out all night long.
  
• We don't stuff stockings. I remember just drooling over the big tacky stockings in the grocery stores. the ones filled with just crap and wrapped in that weird mesh stuff. I'd beg and beg for one. My mama made it very clear that that stocking was a gift in its self, so i could have that big stocking full of crap, or my gift under the tree...my choice. The stocking became less appealing.
  
• Black folks put up their tree right before Christmas (sometimes day of) and take it down right before the 4th of July (or leave it up all year long). Again, it's just a lot of work to drag the sucker out and then put it back up. I used to envy all my friends who would have their trees up right after turkey day...and then i'd be embarrassed that our tree was still up during spring break.

I bet if River could read, he'd be happy to know that only half of these things are going to apply to him!

Happy Holidays (Oh No She Didn't!)

You know how you can tell it's time for Christmas?
No, not lighted trees?
No, not the smell of gingerbread?
Nope, not even the cards that have started arriving in the mail.

It's the "Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays" debates that screams it's that time of the year.

I've never understood the drama between the two. I'm a Christian. Love me some God. But if someone said "Happy Holidays" to me as I left a store, i wouldn't be offended and yell, "Heathen, how dare you take Christ out of Christmas." Wanna know a secret? I've actually opted for Happy Holidays cards over Merry Christmas ones. No, i wasn't trying to enrage Rush Limbaugh, i just preferred the Happy Holidays design.

Did the folks who i sent it too get enraged? I doubt it. and seriously, have you ever actually met anyone who refers to their Christmas Tree as a "holiday tree", "holiday stick" or "holiday bush?" I didn't think so. Heck, most folk i know just call it "the tree." They say: "putting up the tree." "Just got up the tree." "gotta take the tree down." Where's the outrage at this!

I worked retail for 5 looooonnnngggg years. And never once was i told that i couldn't say Merry Christmas. Heck, as long as i got my quota of Target credit card apps they could care less what i was saying. For all they know i was wishing folks a Merry Hitler day. Honey Badger don't care, and either did Target.

I find it comical that folks think not saying Merry Christmas is ruining the holiday. I find it comical that folks think non-Christians shouldn't put a tree, or exchange gifts. I don't have the Holy Book memorized, but i don't recall in verses talking about Jesus and Paul heading out on black friday, macing some lady for a Tickle Me Elmo and then rushing home to wrap all their loot and put it under the tree.

Actually, the Jesus i know and love is less concerned about whether folks are saying "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" and more concerned with how we are treating each other.

Of course this battle will return next year, and the year after, and the year after. There will continue to be 1,000 Facebook posts talking about how i have a CHRISTmas tree and CHRISTmas gifts, yada yada. And that's ok. Because it gives me something to blog about...and something for God to laugh at. Because honestly, if those of us who believe in Christ truly think he's stressing over how cashiers are bidding us farewell during the winter months, we need to hit the Book again.

Porta Potties: Havens for mommies

There are a few parenting tips from my mama that I logged in the back of my memory and i reference from time to time. I remember there were two things specifically that she always told me would happen once i became a parent: 1) You'll never get to eat your whole meal and 2) You'll never go to the bathroom by yourself

I never fully realized exactly what she meant. I didn't understand what being a parent had to do with eating your food or doing your business. But she was serious about it. One of her favorite things to scream and my bros and me (besides "i'll beat the black off ya") was "I could be eating Sh!t on a Shingle and You'd still want a bite." And she would not be laughing when she said that. I admit, my mama's ice water, baloney sandwich, and anything else she was eating always looked and tasted better than whatever i was eating ....even if it was the exact same thing.

But i still never grasped her bathroom rant....until NOW.

Before Riv was mobile, the bathroom was my haven. Hot baths, while reading gossip magazines. Prolonging a flush just to get some extra me time (if you are thinking it's sad that a potty break is "me time" then you don't have kids!). and showers! Showers were like an all-expense paid vacation to somewhere tropical.

But those days are LOOONNNGGG Gone. Now my showers are regularly interrupted by flying objects that make their way over the side.Yesterday i looked down and toddler sneaker had joined me in the shower, while its fully-clothed toddler owner was trying to climb in after it. He was not happy when i told him mama was on vacation and he did not have a valid passport and therefore could not change. Last week as i propped my leg on the edge of the tub to shave, i felt a prickle go across my toes and noticed a Cookie Monster toothbrush was scrubbing down my toes. The same toddler who tossed in a sneaker was apparently giving me a pedicure.

Have you ever tried doing your business while trying to keep a 31 inch person from climbing in the tub, pulling out chemicals from under the sink (daddy has still not fully baby proofed the house) and use the plunger as a walking cane? I've done all of those things...at the same time.

Why doesn't she just close or lock the bathroom door? Well, i could do that, and avoid a toothbrush scrub down. But my haven would still be interrupted by tiny fists pounding the door and screaming that he knows i'm in there and he's not leaving until i come out. And he means business.
Then there's the mommy guilt that comes when the pounding subsides, and you open the door to find that tiny person just laying in front of it looking pathetic. He acts like you were inside some cool club partying it up while he was denied entrance by the bouncer. He knows you were in the club doing cool stuff like unraveling all the toilet paper, playing with that prickly brush by the toilet and spraying windex on the walls.

and then there's the eating thing. Yes, i admit that i have sat in my car to eat food while james and River are inside the house because i know that if i go in, Riv will want a bite of whatever it is that i have. 99% of the time i share...but sometimes this mama wants to finish the last bite --- which is often the best bite.
My scrambled eggs, taco soup, cheerios and apples slices miraculously always taste better than River's.

I know my mama is getting a kick out of watching down on me and seeing all of her words of wisdom come true.

I'm BAAAACCCKKK!

Remember that girl with the funny blog? What happened to her? Well, i heard she had a crappy desktop computer that she'd have to get up uber early in the mornings to warm up and then pray that an hour later it would be working so she could blast out some funny. Sometimes it would be ready, and sometimes it wouldn't' :(

and then one early November morning she'd crafted a hilarious Potluck Friday and the computer froze. She lost her mind, yelling and screaming and maybe saying some potty words. She told her husband (who has a direct connection to Santa) that she needed a laptop and she would NOT be rambling until Santa brought her one.

Sooo, Santa recently made an early visit and dropped off a shiny HP and some WiFi and now that funny girl is back!

Here are some snippits of hilarity that have taken place in casa de Ramblings the last month:

• I was painting my toe nails last weekend and River was so intrigued by it. I'd stroke some paint on, and he'd rub it off with his finger. He just couldn't stay away from me. So me, being the open-minded mama i am, decided to paint his toe nails. So i sat him down and painted his first toe. He flipped out and was not a fan, so i wiped it off. "Well, he hates toe nail polish...he just passed the gay test," i told daddy. Daddy's quick response:" Wow, and mama just passed the 'I'm Sally Kern test.'" SLAM!
  
• My phone charger recently died, so i headed to the T-Mobile store for a new one. I searched high and low on the wall and displays, but could not find one for my phone. So i went and asked a worker.
  Me: I can't find a charger for my phone.
  Him: What kind is it?
  Me: I have a MyTouch (I pull it out)
  Him: Ugh....you have the OLD Mytouch.
  Me: (i'm confused. i got my phone when it came out, less than two years ago. it's not my fault technology changes faster than Kim Kardashian's husbands)
  
  He then digs through what i'm sure is an electronics trash can and hands me an unpackaged old blackberry charger that he said will work and i can have for free because i'm the only loser in the world still using the MyTouch that came out in 2010. He acted like i drove up in a Gremlin and wanted a new carburetor. Whatevs! my phone is fully charged and i didn't spend a dime!
  
• Last night i watched the most disturbing show: The Virgin Diaries. Apparently TLC has put their obsession with little people and folks with too many dang kids on hold to showcase 35 year old virgins. Don't get me wrong. Nothing wrong with being a 35 year-old virgin, but is it necessary to go on TV and let every body know our business?! Some highlights from the show was the chick who was a "reclaimed virgin." She said she'd slept with her past 7 boyfriends, but was now a reclaimed virgin. Umm, no, you are just a lady who has had a rough patch on the dating scene. I was also entertained by the dude who invited his mom over to tell her he was a virgin. Ummm, I never want to have that kind of openness with River...and that mother had the same feeling. But the BEST part of the show was the couple who was saving their first kiss for their wedding...again, that's your business, but a camera crew is not necessary. Stranger than the couple, were their friends and family who were just too interested in their first kiss and wedding night. But nothing, and i mean NOTHING can top their first kiss (i just wanna know why they thought this was how normal kissing is done. haven't they ever watched a movie, or gathered around their kissing friends in middle school to gawk. either one of those experiences should have told them that what they are doing in front of God, and their loved ones is NOT kissing):