Crap girls say!

This video is so funny....because it's so TRUE!

Potluck Friday

This week has flown by...and i don't know if that's good or bad.

1. THIS JUST IN: Fort Worth, Texas police do racial profiling and there's an unequal amount of black and mexican folks in jail for "stupid offenses" than white folks. This also just in: Ricky Martin is a gay. I've actually known both of these items to be true. But one of my dear girlfriends didn't. And when she and her hubby (who are both white -- cover of a J. Crew magazine white) found themselves in the Fort Worth jail for nearly 24 hours after being pulled over after a NASCAR event this past weekend, she informed me of this information! She never realized that there are really some shady po-pos out there (there are some great ones too, don't get me wrong). Her exact words: "ReRe, if i were you i'd be scared to go out at night. I'm serious." Unfortunately, staying inside for the past 29 years has not been an option. So how do i keep my butt out of jail? I don't go to NASCAR! hahaha. If this was seriously a way to stay out of jail, there'd be no black folks in the system.
   
   
2. I have a lot of sleep deprived mommy friends who often struggle when they go back to work because they can barely keep their eyes open. But i think i have the perfect job for them: Air Traffic Controller. I mean seriously, I wish someone paid me to sleep. I think today we should all test that out at work. Instead of writing the tons of assessments that have collected on my desk, i'm gonna prop my feet up and doze away. Instead of making my some important calls, i'm going to throw on my snuggie and get my sleep on. I work in nonprofit, so it's wayyyy cheaper to pay me to sleep than it is to pay an air traffic controller. I'm just sayin'!
   
   
3. Should i be disturbed that earlier this week while i was addressing baby shower invites, James brought me one of River's dirty diapers because "You HAVE to see this, it's HUGE!"? Sadly, i'm not disturbed. I'm actually glad that the days of being impressed with his own...um.. accomplishments are gone (hopefully) and River's crafty work has taken their place.
   
   
4. Sad news: One Life to Live has been canceled. If you know me well, you know that i love my stories. And my favorite one is One Life to Live. I actually had 3 friends call or email me to see if i'd heard the news. I had. I'm devastated. I try to go home every day for lunch to watch OLTL (this is how the cool kids refer to it). If i can't make it home, i tape it. Yes. I said TAPE. I don't know what ABC is thinking. You allowed the travesty that was the Grey's Anatomy musical, but you aren't going to let me see how Jessica does with her split personality disorder, if Todd wakes up from his coma, if John ever finds out that Marty changed the paternity results and he really is Natalie's baby daddy or if Rex and GiGi ever get married? Darn you ABC. This is NOT winning. NOT WINNING AT ALL.
   
   
5. What's Re jamming this week? My girl J.Lo! I've always been a J.Lo fan. She's a Fly Girl, how can you not like a Fly Girl! And i love her song "On the Floor."
   

Extreme Hoarders

I recently tuned into Extreme Couponing on TLC. I won't be tuning in again. Don't get me wrong. I love me some coupons -- ask anyone who has ever stood behind me in a grocery line (coupons + my cloth grocery bags = pain in the butt for folks behind me), but what i don't like are folks who pretend to be "extreme couponers" but in actuality they are hoarders:



I mean, SERIOUSLY?! The only difference between these folks and the folks on Hoarders is instead of hoarding dusty clowns and lamp shades, they are hoarding salad dressing, body wash and toilet paper. These folks are CRAZY! Are you really saving if you have to buy 50 jars of mustard? Are you really saving if you have a basement filled with 900 bottles of maxi pads -- and you are a man? Are you really saving if it takes you 30 hours, 8 stores and 15 newspapers to go to the grocery store? I think not.

And honestly i think it's rude to clear the shelves of all the ketchup just so you can be a freaky hoarder and save $5.00, but i can't even buy the ONE bottle i need (and will use in this lifetime)! We look at the houses on hoarders with disgust. Well you know what, at least these folks are trying to get some help and most of them realize they have a problem. But nope, not crazy mustard lady on Extreme Coupon who had about 500 jars of mustard and her husband said "i don't even like mustard." THAT lady needs help.

It would be different if these folks bought all this stuff and then didn't go shopping for a few months (or years), but no, these fools are back in the store the next week.
They should change the name from Extreme Couponing to "Grocery Hoarders."

I'm just sayin'!

What would you do?

I admit that i often watch that show "What Would You Do?" on ABC. James can't stand the show, yet somehow every Friday night we find ourselves watching it and laughing at it's absurdity.


If you've never seen it, the premise is simple to explain: They put hidden cameras in a place and set up situations to see how every day joes and janes react. Some situations are awkward, like a stranger asking a person walking by to hold their dog while they run into a store, and some of the situations are dangerous/uncomfortable like two actors will act like a domestic violence couple and see if any one intervenes.

And then some of the situations are just right down ridiculous and would probably never happen, yet John Quinones is obsessed with trying to convince us that they will happen. One of my favorite crazy situations was: a woman getting wasted in a bar, while she breastfeeds her baby.
Seriously?! This is very unlikely to happen. No, i'm not saying it will NEVER happen, but it's just really unlikely. Heck, most breastfeeding ladies have a hard enough time working up the courage to breastfeed in a corner in at the Starbucks inside their local Target (i would know!), let alone whipping it out at a bar WHILE they throw back some Jack and Coke. And honestly, most folks who breastfeed follow the Breast is Best philosophy, not the Brest and Rum and Coke is Best.
Seriously ABC!

I also enjoyed the scenario where two pre-teen girls were picking on an elderly man on the sidewalk. They snatched off his hat and made fun of him for using a cane and walking slow. Once again, not saying that this would never happen, and sadly there are sickos that pick on the elderly. But i highly doubt that Abigail Breslin and Willow Smith are spending their time making fun of Betty White.

Another fail John Quinones. Another Fail.

Since "What Would You Do?" seems to be on such a "roll," i'm thinking about sending in some ideas for the show:

• An interracial couple goes to a Klan meeting at in the Tennessee boondocks and starts making out during the head dragon's speech. The other Klan members start spewing racial slurs at the couple? What Would You Do? Would you intervene? Or continue listening to the speech?
  
• You see a surgeon put a bologna samich into a patient instead of an artificial heart.
  
• Your IHOP waitress pours syrup over the heads of the patrons at the next table.
  

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?!

Potluck Friday

Happy Friday!

1. If i could go back in time, i'd give Leonardo DiCaprio an Oscar for his role in What's Eating Gilbert Grape? I watched that movie this morning and it just reminded me of how dang good Leo was in the role. I'm sure you are wondering how it's not even 9 a.m. and i've had time to watch a movie. Well, these days i don't sleep well (thanks Pumpkin Seed) so i watch random movies, cartoons, the Joy Behar show (that woman is crazy and her accent is crazier) and lots of male enhancement commercials. I don't know why i can't sleep. I'm not uncomfortable (yet) but i just seem to not be able to sleep past 3 .m. Oh well, i guess my body is preparing me for October.
   
2. Is it rude that when i can't sleep i sometimes -- by sometimes i mean often -- wake up James and ask him questions like: "What are you dreaming about?" "What are you doing?" "When are you gonna wake up? and "Do you want to get up and play?" He thinks i'm a lunatic, but i think i'm doing him a favor by trying to prepare him for the role of fatherhood. I told him to pretend like i'm a crying baby.
   
3. I am convinced that Kelly from the Real Housewives of New York City is the CRAZIEST person in the WORLD. Yes, i said world. It pains me to watch her. Bravo! would never put a mentally ill person on the show and let her fight with the other women, so...oh wait, yes they would: KELLY!
   
4. James and I have both been called for jury duty on the same day. At least i won't be sitting up there alone, but jury duty sounds like no fun -- unless Pauly Shore is gonna be there.
   
5. What am i jamming this week? "OMG" by Mr. Usher Raymond. Me loves this song, it has Black Eyed Peas feel to it (probably because it features Will.I.Am):
   

I'm going to hell for this...but it's worth it

I know i'm going to hell for laughing at this video from A&E's Intervention (considering i work at a drug treatment center) but i can't help but giggle at this dude's cry! I've been teased for years about my Betty Rubble-esque laugh -- but my laught ain't got nothing on this dude's chuckle.

First watch the first video, the original:




Now enjoy the remix (doesn't it make you think that any minute T-Pain is gonna pop in and say something whacky?!):

Like i said, i'm going to hell.