I heard it through the crazy vine!

Here's a recap of recent of some convos heard around casa de ReRe Ramblings:

ReRe: Are you going to come move your plate from the table? This ain't the Waffle House.
James: No, this is the Awful House...BWAHAHAHAH!

James: Are you interesed in seeing that movie Rock of Ages?
ReRe: No.
James: Because it's before your time?
ReRe: No, it's because i'm black!

The makings of a black widow

I admit I'm a girlie girl and do not hesitate to yell like one if I see a creepy crawler. I married James for many reasons -- and one of those reasons is to handle creepy crawlers. I thought he knew this, but i recently learned this was a wrong assumption (you know what they say about assuming).

The other day while cleaning out the tub I saw what can only be described as the lovechild between a crab and a scorpion. (I'm literally shuttering just typing that, ick!). It was maybe an inch long, but it looked like it was packing heat, so i did what any girlie girl would do....I SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS.

ReRe: AHHHH. BABY, BABY! COME HERE, QUICK, HELP!

My night and shining armor came running in the bathroom concerned.

James: What's wrong???
ReRe: There, look, it's a bug. It has  pincher and claws, kill it! KILL IT!!! What is it?
James: Calm down. it's nothing. (he flushes it)
ReRe: What was it?
James: I don't know.
ReRe: It had pinchers? What was it?
James: I don't know. Did you seriously scream like that for a little bug. I ran in here and didn't even pause my video game and now I'm going to lose my pro status. Next time you scream like that it needs to be for something serious, like a black widow.
ReRe: You know what? I'm about to be black widow!

the crAzy Team

Ever since James was a child he's been obsessed with the  A-Team. He will randomly hum the song and sometimes when we're driving, he'll break out in A-Team talk like we are the A Team. This was the case yesterday. A plane flying over Flood Street apparently triggered his A Team bug and this conversation ensued:

James: Uh-Oh, we better go break out Murdock!
ReRe: What? What are you talking about?
James: We are the A-Team! Murdock is the crazy guy in the asylum. You are B.A., I'm Hannibal and River is Faceman because he's so cute.
ReRe: What?! I have to be Mr. T? Why, because i'm black?!
James: Well, i guess you could be Amy Allen, the reporter who'd hang with them sometimes.
ReRe: You think?!
James: And maybe i should be Murdock, the crazy guy.
ReRe: YOU THINK?!

Homeland...where the crazies are

I've recently (re)discovered Homeland. The prices aren't the best, but i like to pop in every once in awhile because it doesn't have the chaos and layer of wally that Walmart has. But even though Homeland may present itself as a more "upper-crust" grocery option, its cashiers are hot mess! a few weeks ago a teen cashier could barely contain himself when he told me my total was $4.20 (420, bwahahaha?!).

But my encounter yesterday was even stranger.

Me: How are you today?
Cashier lady: I'm treated the way i should be. Not given the respect i deserve. But i haven't been arrested!
Me: That's sad...and good. Is this the time where i give you my discount card to swipe?
Cashier (a little too excited): Let's do it! you're here, i'm here! Let's do this while we are both here!
Me: Ok...
Cashier (over the top excited): look! you save 20 cents, girl! you are raking it in hand over foot!
Me: Ok.

I took my overprices salmon and baked Cheetos and ran to my car as fast as i could. at least in wally world i expect the crazy!

But i am glad that Homeland employs folks on work release!

Deviled Eggs

I love when the hubby compliments my cooking. But i think this past Saturday he gave me a "compliment" that i just didn't know how to take.

Saturdays are our mornings for big breakfasts. So as we settled down to scrambled eggs, pancakes and hashbrowns, James said:

When we get to heaven, i hope you have to cook breakfast every day!

I guess he doesn't realize that if I have to cook breakfast every day, my guess is that i didn't make it to heaven!

H is for Hell

15 months ago i would have never understood the humor of this photo...but thanks to Mr. River James, i about peed my pants when i saw this. It's so dang true. My mocha munchkin has mastered all of these, but his specialty is H is for Hell

Potluck Friday

Happy Potluck Friday!!!

1. When i returned from the gym this morning i found James and River washing dog #2. I was surprised why this would be going on at 7 a.m. Well, apparently in what James describes as "sleep nagging" i tore him a new one last night about only washing one dog, so he set his alarm to get him and wash the other dog. At first i felt bad, but then it hit me: He doesn't listen to me when i'm "nagging" him when i'm awake, so why the heck would he listen to my sleep nagging?! I feel no guilt Mr. James! No guilt! Ladies, clearly sleep nagging is the way to get stuff done!
   
2. Am i the only one who finds it odd and ironic that JC Penney is have a sheets sale in celebration of Martin Luther King Jr. Day? Seriously JCP?! Don't stop there, go ahead and offer deeper discounts on white sheets!
   
3. Today is a sad day for me. I will be spending my lunch break watching the last episode of One Life to Live. Those who know me well, know how seriously sad I am. I'm mad at ABC
   :( they should know by the tragedy that is the "The Chew" that canceling my stories to replace them with even worse shows is not a good idea. But what do i know? I'm just a chick who's been watching OLTL (that's what the cool kids call it) since the womb. I guess i can retire my VCR since i will have no need to tape anything again.
   
4. According to a commercial i saw the other day Golden Corral has a chocolate fountain. So now buffet eaters can dip bananas, strawberries and dried out chicken in chocolate! I think this is a terrible idea and screams health scare. I mean, once i saw a kid groping the peaches at Golden Corral. This kid was elbow deep in the peach bowl just squeezing them. I went and found a worker and told her. She glanced over and of course the kid was gone and she said "I don't see anyone." Oh yeah lady, i forgot: if you don't see a kid groping the peaches, it didn't happen. Reason #4,593 buffets are icky.
   
5. What's ReRe jamming this week? Adele, duh! Who's NOT jamming some Adele. Big Girls Represent. The song "Someone Like You" gives me chill. This girl can SANG!
   

My White Girl is Out

For those of you who don't already know...i did it: i joined Pinterest. Yes, i let my inner white girl out to shine!

But i'm gonna be honest. I don't really get the obsession. Have I found some awesome recipes that i can't wait to try? Yes. But outside of finding tasty recipes to pin to my "Yummy for My Tummy" board, i don't understand what else I'm supposed to do or what other folks are doing.

I pinned a Hunger Games poster to my books board. But i have no idea why or what that's supposed to mean. Am i telling people that i can read? Am I telling people that i've read The Hunger Games? Am I telling people they should read The Hunger Games?

Also the site is hecka slow at times. And am i supposed to also be posting my own recipes and crafts (yeah right!) so folks can pin those, or is there a Pinterest factory somewhere full of under paid workers who sit around making recipes and crafts to post to Pinterest?

And don't get me started on the other things i can pin: pictures of outfits on skinny models, baby clothes, Caribbean vacations, etc. Is pinning a vacation of a tropical island a reminder that i want to go there? Well, i don't need a reminder --- i KNOW that i want/need a tropical vacation!

A cute kids outfit? Do i pin this so i can make the outfit for River? Do i pin it so i can buy the outfit for River? Or is this a reminder to kidnap the kid modeling the outfit? (kidding! kidding!)

I kinda get the crafts. It's like recipes. You plan to attempt to make those things. But i'm not fooling myself. I know I'm not crafty and i've never heard of half of the material needed for these crafts and i refuse to ask the cranky old ladies at Hobby Lobby to help me. But who knows, maybe after making my first dish (look out Wednesday Night Girls!) i may give a try at a craft...or i might buy something that looks similar and pretend i made it!

Right now my inner white gal is still on the fence on how she feels about Pinterest, but she'll keep you posted!