This PSA is brought to you by the letters F-L and U

As flu season is upon us, the folks at ReRe-Ramblings would like to do a PSA for the season. No, i'm not going to tell everyone to get a flu shot or tell everyone why they should or shouldn't get one. My message is simple: IF YOU ARE SICK, KEEP YOUR SICK BUTT AT HOME. AIN'T NOBODY GIVING OUT AWARDS TO "DEDICATED" EMPLOYEES WHO BRING THEIR COOTIES TO THE OFFICE.

Nothing worse than someone hacking up a lung, looking like death warmed over, but saying things like "no, no i'm not sick." and then they continue to blow their rudolph nose. NASTY. RUDE.

We've all worked with that person who comes in sicker than a dog and acts like they are doing the company some big favor by bringing in their diseases. They say things like "I'm soooooooo sick, but I just have so much to do." or "I don't feel good, but i didn't want you to get stuck with my work." Ummm, i'd rather be stuck with your work than whatever you got going on in your chest.

If I was the boss, i'd be sending sick folks home. Better yet, sick folks would get penalized for even coming to work with drippy nose in the first place.

So i'll say it again people, leave your sick butts at home -- you gets no pats on the back from me!

I'm NOT old!

I love when our men can make us feel young and good -- but those don't make funny posts.

But these conversations do:

ReRe: You know what is depressing?
James: What?
ReRe: When you are watching a reality show and the name and age of the person pops up and you realize you are older than most of the contestants.
James: Well, sweetie, you are getting to the age where you are going to be older than most reality show people. You can be on a reality show at like 18, 21, these days. You are probably older than all the people on America's Next Top Model.
ReRe: Ok? Thanks? You really know how to make me feel good!

Count Down to the end of my life....

Some pregnant ladies get annoyed when folks want to rub their bellies -- i don't mind (as long as you aren't some weirdo and you have all your teeth or at least a good set of dentures)

Some pregnant ladies get annoyed at comments like "are you carrying twins?" "man, you look like you were due yesterday" or the plain and simple "you are huge." -- amazingly i don't mind these either. As long as their is a kiddo in me, you can comment on my roundness all you want. BUT in 3-4 weeks you better shut your face.

But what i CAN'T stand are the constant comments about how "your life is going to be OVER. so enjoy this time while you can."

Don't get me wrong, i know that life is going to be very different. I won't be able to decide that I need to go to Opies in an hour. I may not be rushing out to see a 2 hour new release in the near-near future, and my nights of 9 hours of sleep are going to dwindle (though if you are on Facebook at 3 a.m. you would know that i haven't slept through the night in at least two months).

Yes, i know all of these things and more. But there's nothing worse than telling two people who are about to start such an exciting journey that life is really about to SUCK. I have some mommy friends who tell me all the ugly sides of pregnancy and the after, i love and need that, it's real. But what i don't love or need is weird laughing church lady who told me Sunday: "Man, you won't be going out alone for a long, long time. Kiss those movies and dates goodbye once this baby comes."

(James said i should have told her: well, my hubby is not ashamed of me, so he will still take me out.)

Other annoying your-life-is-gonna-suck-soon comments i hate are:

• You and James are never going to have "alone" time again. -- umm, that's right. because people NEVER have "alone" time after they have a kid. that's why every couple has just one kid (ignore the fact that James is #9 of ELEVEN kids) . Ok???
  


• No more date nights. -- to the folks that have not been on a date since their kid was born 10 years ago, shame on you! don't blame that on your kid! just admit that you just don't really like your old lady/old man anymore! Trust me, this mama will have her some date nights. happy mama = happy house!
  


• When someone's kid is acting a fool, throwing a crazy tantrum, the parents look at you and say: "I hope you are ready for this." -- No, i'm not ready for that, and i don't need to be because i'm not gonna have a BeBe kid. Notice that it's always the person with the baddest kid who wants to prepare you for incidents like your kid slapping you in Wal-Mart or your teen calling you a "B." Now, i'm not saying my boy is going to be perfect, but I know how my mama raised me and trust me, we knew better to act a fool in private, let alone in public!

My question is this: if kids are sooooooooo terrible, than why do folks keep busting them out!

Ok, off my soapbox!

Potluck Friday!

1. I think it was 3:14 a.m. when James rolled over and said: "hey guess what? River is going to be here in 3 weeks -- that's CRAZY!" and then he turned over and went back to sleep. It is crazy. Today is October 1st, the last first day of the month that James and i will wake up without a child in the house. WEIRD. Today is also hair day -- woot woot. I refuse to bring a child into this world with my hair looking a hot mess, so i'm going to see Ms. CoCo later today so she can get me labor ready.
   
   
2. James' favorite commercials are the Restasis ads. He gets a kick out of the patient saying "Doctor, my eyes have been so dry, what's wrong?" and the doc saying "You have dry eye." Every time he sees it he cracks up.Clearly we've both gone into the wrong profession. I didn't know being a doctor was so easy. I could have told the dry eye lady she had freaking dry eye! What's next, going to the doc and saying that your hair has been thinning and the doc saying "you are experiencing thinning hair. " or saying you have been coughing and blowing your nose and the doc saying "you have a case of coughs and stuffy/runny nose." Medical field here i come.
   
   
3. I saw on the news that a new planet was found. Ummm, if i was Pluto i'd be ticked! And i love how scientists always say "new" when they find something. Ummm, new means new, not it took us x amount of years to find this!
   
   
4. All i have to say is Praise Jesus -- Angelina FINALLY left Jersey Shore last night! And i BETTER NOT see that girl on the 3rd season (yes, there will be a third, and yes, i will be watching it. Don't judge!) Now if only that Amber chick from Teen Mom would leave the show all would be right in the world (oh, except for the poverty, war, hate, politicians, etc. but those are not as entertaining at MTV shows).
   
   
5. What am i jamming this week? I'm embarrassed to admit it, but the song is called "Toot it and Boot" it by YG. I had to ask my brothers what it exactly meant. Of course i was appalled and disgusted (and still not clear what it means), but i can't help but to sing along and bob my head when it comes on. I secretly wanna scream "That's my jam" when i hear it, but i'm 29 and too old to admit that publicly.
   

Bikers Beware -- i can't stand you!

This might make some folks mad, but i don't care. You know who i'm not a fan of?

Bikers.

No, not all bikers get on my nerves, but some of yall are just seconds away from some Subaru in your tush.

Oh, you know who you are. You are the guy/gal who rants and raves about how "we have all the rights of the road" and "we need to be respected just like drivers." YET you REFUSE to follow half the rules of the road. Yeah, you might give a half signal here and there with your hand when you feel up to it. But for the most part you only follow the rules when you feel up to it -- which is clearly not often.

• Why do you think you get to just roll on through a 4-way stop? I can't do that in my car, so why do you get to do that just cus you are on a bike?
  
• Why do you get to just cut across all the lanes, making folks slam on their brakes, but i can't do that in my car (well, i guess i could technically do anything you can do, but i guarantee i'm getting pulled over).
• Why do you get to ride down the center of the road, weaving in and out between cars?
• Why do you get to ride under the influence? (not that i want to drive under the influence, but seriously, i'd bet 60% of bikers are drunk -- at least the ones on campus corner).
  
• Why do you think just because you are on a bike, it's appropriate to wear spandex? NO ONE should be wearing spandex, ESPECIALLY if you are not in the privacy of some contraption that is hiding your body.
  
• Why do you get to bounce back and forth between the street lane, the bike lane and the sidewalk? Pick a route and stick with it. Yeah, i could probably get to my destination faster if just hopped on the sidewalk and cut through Mrs. Jones' rose bushes, BUT I CAN'T. And either should you!
  

Two pregnant ladies walk into a salon...

So a little over a week ago i had my first pedicure! My toes still look HAWT! and i think i will partake in another pedi in a couple of weeks. With that being said, the experience was still weird. Maybe it was just the place we went to -- i doubt it though because i've heard similar stories and stand-up acts based solely on pedis -- but could it have been any more stereotypical?!

The answer: NO!

First off, the minute we walked in -- i went with a pregnant girlfriend -- it felt like we were being yelled at. I had no idea what was completely being said but i got the jist that they wanted to know a few things: why are you here? do you have an appointment? pedi? mani? both? color? why are you both so fat? (ok, i threw in that last one, but i totally know they were all thinking it). I had no idea why it took all 8 employees to yell/ask these questions, but it did.

An hour later -- after stuffing our preggo selves with some Mexican food -- we headed back to the salon for our appointments.

We settled in the massage chairs, and the fun began.

I have no idea where the pedi ladies are from, but wherever they grew up they clearly did NOT get a lesson in gossiping.

Gossip Rule #1: when you are talking about someone/someone's feet, it's best not to hold up the foot, yell down the line at all your co-workers, point at the foot and start chatting. Ummm, no, i don't know what you are saying, but i'm pretty sure it ain't good!

Along with totally dissing our feet, the ladies also talked about each and every woman who walked in the salon. When a tall, thin, blond, overly-tanned lady walked in, all the workers stopped, stared, and then rolled their eyes and started "whispering" to each other.

When my lady was ready for my other foot, she would grunt at me until i guessed what she wanted me to do. My girlfriend's lady was a little nicer, even though she spent the hour telling my friend how "huge your belly is." When my friend motioned to my belly and noted that i too was expecting and was further along, her pedi lady brushed it off and said "Yeah, but your belly is much much bigger. healthy baby." I think "healthy baby" means "fat kid you got there," but i don't know.

Besides the gossiping, the other thing that didn't jive with me was the fact that i'm pretty sure -- no, i know -- that they use the same tools on everyone's feet. GROOOOOSSSSSS. This is the exact reason why i've gone 29 years without a pedi. Yes, my toes look nice, but all i could and can think about is the fact that the pumice stone and cuticle thingy used on me was probably used on 7 other people who are all connected to Kevin Bacon some how.

This experience has not soured me to pedis. Like i said, i will partake in another (my girl T. Marie told me of a place that does not use the same tools on everyone!), just not at Natural Nails in Sooner Mall!

(and i thought all the sistas at the beauty shop were bad!)

Potluck Friday

OHHHHHH What a week it has been....

1. It's not just TGIF, it's TGIMCHF: Thank God it's MC Hammer Friday! Yep, that's right, River and i will be stepping out to my baby boy's first concert tonight. I'm sure he will be have his parachute pants on in utero. I'm going with two crazy girls who i'm sure will make the night loads of fun...AND the concert is at the State Fair, so not only do i get to see MC Hammer, i also get to see all kinds of folks that you only get to see this time of year (unless you are watching cops). I'm going to be the DD tonight since, well, it would be inappropriate for me to throw back a few at the concert. Or would it? My girlfriend made an interesting point: "I'm sure you would not be the only pregnant woman drinking at the State Fair." True Dat, but i'll refrain!
   
   
2. We all know that men are just a different species. They think different from any other animal on this planet. I love to watch them in their natural habitat. I love to just sit back and see how their mind works. I did this recently and here is what i saw:
   ReRe: Baby, what's going on on the back of your boxers?
   James: Huh? (tries to turn far enough behind him to check it out, of course he can't see)
   ReRe: You have a big hole! It's like you are naked!
   James: What?! (He goes and looks in the mirror, and sure enough there's a Grand Canyon size piece of material missing).
   
   So what does man do? He takes them off, replaces them with an intact pair, and then puts the holey pair in the dirty clothes -- so of course we can have this same conversation next week.
   ReRe: Umm, baby, how about you put those in the TRASH.
   James: Good idea.
   
   
3. So folks are really loving this Facebook dilly whopper where you can tell everyone where you are right then and there (i'm sure i've ranted about this, but i'm gonna rant again). Not only do folks not need to know that you are at the Waffle House, BUT isn't that basically and open invite for folks to go rob you? Especially if you are telling the world you are somewhere that is way to cool to be in your home state? There's no Ikea in Oklahoma, but last week i had 5 girlfriends who all checked in there, and if i was a ghettoer person, i would have been checking in at their fancy houses! But i'm not that ghetto (and i'm too hot, pregnant and lazy to go break the law) -- but i guarantee you we all have at least one ghetto person on our friends list who would totally ponder the idea (that's why i try to keep all my ghetto friends on Myspace -- Separate but Equal-ish).
   
   
4. I'm so glad Fall TV is back! Glee and Big Bang Theory were greatly missed in the James and ReRe household. The Real Housewives of Atlanta returns Monday! Now i'm just waiting on V to come back and i'll be a happy couch potato.
   
   
5. What's ReRe jamming this week? "Bottoms Up" by Trey Songz featuring Nicki Minaj (who is kinda weird):