Youth today

So last week while presenting to some 3rd graders about not using tobacco products, i learned some interesting things such as: i'm glad i'm not a 3rd grade teacher (i give it up to you teachers, i don't have that kind of patience), i have the same taste in music and boys as 3rd graders (they love the Bieber too), and -- and this is the most important one -- "YOU GET A CELL PHONE BY 3RD GRADE."

Yes, that's an actual quote from one of the kiddos, and all her classmates agreed.
Say What???!!! So in 9 years River gets his own cell phone plan?

this little tidbit of info was shocking to me, especially considering that I didn't get a cell phone until i was a junior or senior in high school, and when i was in 3rd grade, the only folks i knew with cell phones were Zac Morris and a family friend named Ricky (who i'm pretty sure had shady business going on).

Part of me can see wanting your kiddo to have a cell phone so they can check in with you etc. But another part of me wonders who the heck are 3rd graders talking to enough to warrant a $40+ a month phone bill. AND what could they possibly be talking about?!

I don't know why i should be surprised though. I know 3 year-olds with iPods ( i don't even have an iPod. and i still use a VCR).

I guess the lesson i learned is that i'm way behind the times and i need to get cooler pretty soon so i don't become one of "those" embarrassing moms!

He said WHAT?!

Blog James and real-life James seem like two different people to some folks. When folks first meet my hubby they automatically thinks he's going to start busting jokes and telling the silly stories that i post, but in reality James is a pretty quiet guy. He's got to really know someone before his blog-worthy side comes out. But when it does come out, watch out!
Those of you who have seen or heard him in action know what i mean. But for those of you who have never witnessed it first-hand, i leave you with this little taste:

James: (making a weird clicking noise) click, clickity clock, click click
ReRe: What are you doing that for?
James: Did i just call you something bad in your native tongue?!

BURN!

One of my stand-up jokes that i opened with was about how my first and middle names are, well, um, unusual (even more unusual that ReRe), but my maiden name is Smith. So i always joked that given my first name, you'd expect my maiden name to be something like Clickity, Click, Ooh, Ooh! It always got a laugh.

Guess this time the laughs on me!

River Monster Count Down: due in 5 days

Potluck Friday

1. Now, i don't want to be one of those crazy people who is blaming the flu shot for making me sick (i've read up on it, i know it's a dead virus, yada yada, i even have watched the vaccine be made and learned about all that crap), BUT, THE FLU SHOT MADE ME SICK! I got the sucker on Tuesday -- i typically don't get it. The last time i got it 5 years ago I got really really sick and passed it to James. We spent Thanksgiving 2005 on the couch drinking thera flu and watching Jurassic Park for a week. No fun. But i decided to get it this year so i could pass all the antibodies to River. WRONG CHOICE. I love this kid, but mommy feels like crap and really wishes she would have took daddy's advice and just bumped up my vitamin D intake instead. But it's too late. I have a sore arm, with a lump as big as J. Lo's rump on it, tingly throat and runny nose. Maybe it's not the flu shot, i could blame it on the "dedicated" folks who refuse to take a sick work day (and i blame half of it on them), but i can't deny that little shot some how jacked me up. So 2010 will be the last year ReRe EVER gets a flu shot. EVER.
   
2. So i may have been wrong about something for the last 29 years: i may NOT have child-bearing hips. they might just be wide. Monday my doc informed me that she was a little concerned/surprised that my boy hadn't started moving into position. Yes, he's head down, but he's not moving down -- if you know what i mean. She said she's not in worry mode quite yet and over the next two weeks he could still move his way down, BUT she did say that it was possible he was on the big side (i don't know where he could have got that) and was maybe having a hard time. My kid is part of the GBC -- the ghetto booty crew. I hope he's just being lazy and will start to pack his things over the next week and be ready to roll soon. We shall see.
   
3. So The Situation got the boot off of Dancing with the Stars. I'll admit, i was kind of bummed b/c not only am i a fan of Jersey Shore, i'm a fan of watching rythmless people dance! And it doesn't come more rythmless than Mike The Situation! He really took getting the boot to heart. Apparently he's never watched the show and didn't realize that you don't get votes for trying hard. You get votes for dancing well! What i don't understand is how someone who spends so much time in the club can be so bad at dancing?!
   
4. What song am i jamming this week? "Check it Out" by Will.I.Am and Nicki Minaj. Ms. Minaj is really becoming one of my favorite folks these days. She's like the black Lady GaGa!
   

This PSA is brought to you by the letters F-L and U

As flu season is upon us, the folks at ReRe-Ramblings would like to do a PSA for the season. No, i'm not going to tell everyone to get a flu shot or tell everyone why they should or shouldn't get one. My message is simple: IF YOU ARE SICK, KEEP YOUR SICK BUTT AT HOME. AIN'T NOBODY GIVING OUT AWARDS TO "DEDICATED" EMPLOYEES WHO BRING THEIR COOTIES TO THE OFFICE.

Nothing worse than someone hacking up a lung, looking like death warmed over, but saying things like "no, no i'm not sick." and then they continue to blow their rudolph nose. NASTY. RUDE.

We've all worked with that person who comes in sicker than a dog and acts like they are doing the company some big favor by bringing in their diseases. They say things like "I'm soooooooo sick, but I just have so much to do." or "I don't feel good, but i didn't want you to get stuck with my work." Ummm, i'd rather be stuck with your work than whatever you got going on in your chest.

If I was the boss, i'd be sending sick folks home. Better yet, sick folks would get penalized for even coming to work with drippy nose in the first place.

So i'll say it again people, leave your sick butts at home -- you gets no pats on the back from me!

I'm NOT old!

I love when our men can make us feel young and good -- but those don't make funny posts.

But these conversations do:

ReRe: You know what is depressing?
James: What?
ReRe: When you are watching a reality show and the name and age of the person pops up and you realize you are older than most of the contestants.
James: Well, sweetie, you are getting to the age where you are going to be older than most reality show people. You can be on a reality show at like 18, 21, these days. You are probably older than all the people on America's Next Top Model.
ReRe: Ok? Thanks? You really know how to make me feel good!

Count Down to the end of my life....

Some pregnant ladies get annoyed when folks want to rub their bellies -- i don't mind (as long as you aren't some weirdo and you have all your teeth or at least a good set of dentures)

Some pregnant ladies get annoyed at comments like "are you carrying twins?" "man, you look like you were due yesterday" or the plain and simple "you are huge." -- amazingly i don't mind these either. As long as their is a kiddo in me, you can comment on my roundness all you want. BUT in 3-4 weeks you better shut your face.

But what i CAN'T stand are the constant comments about how "your life is going to be OVER. so enjoy this time while you can."

Don't get me wrong, i know that life is going to be very different. I won't be able to decide that I need to go to Opies in an hour. I may not be rushing out to see a 2 hour new release in the near-near future, and my nights of 9 hours of sleep are going to dwindle (though if you are on Facebook at 3 a.m. you would know that i haven't slept through the night in at least two months).

Yes, i know all of these things and more. But there's nothing worse than telling two people who are about to start such an exciting journey that life is really about to SUCK. I have some mommy friends who tell me all the ugly sides of pregnancy and the after, i love and need that, it's real. But what i don't love or need is weird laughing church lady who told me Sunday: "Man, you won't be going out alone for a long, long time. Kiss those movies and dates goodbye once this baby comes."

(James said i should have told her: well, my hubby is not ashamed of me, so he will still take me out.)

Other annoying your-life-is-gonna-suck-soon comments i hate are:

• You and James are never going to have "alone" time again. -- umm, that's right. because people NEVER have "alone" time after they have a kid. that's why every couple has just one kid (ignore the fact that James is #9 of ELEVEN kids) . Ok???
  


• No more date nights. -- to the folks that have not been on a date since their kid was born 10 years ago, shame on you! don't blame that on your kid! just admit that you just don't really like your old lady/old man anymore! Trust me, this mama will have her some date nights. happy mama = happy house!
  


• When someone's kid is acting a fool, throwing a crazy tantrum, the parents look at you and say: "I hope you are ready for this." -- No, i'm not ready for that, and i don't need to be because i'm not gonna have a BeBe kid. Notice that it's always the person with the baddest kid who wants to prepare you for incidents like your kid slapping you in Wal-Mart or your teen calling you a "B." Now, i'm not saying my boy is going to be perfect, but I know how my mama raised me and trust me, we knew better to act a fool in private, let alone in public!

My question is this: if kids are sooooooooo terrible, than why do folks keep busting them out!

Ok, off my soapbox!

Potluck Friday!

1. I think it was 3:14 a.m. when James rolled over and said: "hey guess what? River is going to be here in 3 weeks -- that's CRAZY!" and then he turned over and went back to sleep. It is crazy. Today is October 1st, the last first day of the month that James and i will wake up without a child in the house. WEIRD. Today is also hair day -- woot woot. I refuse to bring a child into this world with my hair looking a hot mess, so i'm going to see Ms. CoCo later today so she can get me labor ready.
   
   
2. James' favorite commercials are the Restasis ads. He gets a kick out of the patient saying "Doctor, my eyes have been so dry, what's wrong?" and the doc saying "You have dry eye." Every time he sees it he cracks up.Clearly we've both gone into the wrong profession. I didn't know being a doctor was so easy. I could have told the dry eye lady she had freaking dry eye! What's next, going to the doc and saying that your hair has been thinning and the doc saying "you are experiencing thinning hair. " or saying you have been coughing and blowing your nose and the doc saying "you have a case of coughs and stuffy/runny nose." Medical field here i come.
   
   
3. I saw on the news that a new planet was found. Ummm, if i was Pluto i'd be ticked! And i love how scientists always say "new" when they find something. Ummm, new means new, not it took us x amount of years to find this!
   
   
4. All i have to say is Praise Jesus -- Angelina FINALLY left Jersey Shore last night! And i BETTER NOT see that girl on the 3rd season (yes, there will be a third, and yes, i will be watching it. Don't judge!) Now if only that Amber chick from Teen Mom would leave the show all would be right in the world (oh, except for the poverty, war, hate, politicians, etc. but those are not as entertaining at MTV shows).
   
   
5. What am i jamming this week? I'm embarrassed to admit it, but the song is called "Toot it and Boot" it by YG. I had to ask my brothers what it exactly meant. Of course i was appalled and disgusted (and still not clear what it means), but i can't help but to sing along and bob my head when it comes on. I secretly wanna scream "That's my jam" when i hear it, but i'm 29 and too old to admit that publicly.